Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:46     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
First of all, what school? That way maybe others can help you.

Second, just drop your child at school on your way to work. They can sit on a bench outside school and wait for whatever time they open.

Same in the afternoon, if they don't have drop in study hall $. Then tell your kid that mom will be 1/2 hour later then normal. So hang out on the playground or whatever.

Yes you will need to fins a new job with respects your dedication and contribution, but in the short term just drop your kid early.

Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:41     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


What is basically deployed? You either are or you aren't.

TDY isn't deployed.


NP. Plenty of us are feds/contractors who work on crises around the world. There's short notice. My spouse has been gone for months at a time. I rarely bring it up because people only have sympathy for military.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:38     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.


You're in a professional position where you can likely set pretty flexible hours as long as you complete your assignments. There are a ton of other jobs (like your nursing example) that depend on a person being in a work setting at specific times and it's not easy to get someone to fill in for an hour here or there at the bottom and top of the day. Even many office jobs are that way. If our receptionist/office manager is out from 5-6, there will be a lot of people inconvenienced and less productive, themselves.




I have to assume OP has enough self awareness that she wouldn't be asking to flex her hours if she is in a public-facing position that requires coverage.


Based on her responses here, I'm not sure there is a basis for that assumption.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:33     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
How can you afford private school but not afford a caregiver/nanny to help out for those two weeks?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:24     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
You shouldn’t have told them it was for your kids. That was first mistake. Home repairs or such are more accepted.

Probably need to take the two weeks off. If kids are young and where is DH traveling to?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:14     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.


You're in a professional position where you can likely set pretty flexible hours as long as you complete your assignments. There are a ton of other jobs (like your nursing example) that depend on a person being in a work setting at specific times and it's not easy to get someone to fill in for an hour here or there at the bottom and top of the day. Even many office jobs are that way. If our receptionist/office manager is out from 5-6, there will be a lot of people inconvenienced and less productive, themselves.




I have to assume OP has enough self awareness that she wouldn't be asking to flex her hours if she is in a public-facing position that requires coverage.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:13     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


What is basically deployed? You either are or you aren't.

TDY isn't deployed.


In the IC it is. You have no idea what you are talking about.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:04     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.


You're in a professional position where you can likely set pretty flexible hours as long as you complete your assignments. There are a ton of other jobs (like your nursing example) that depend on a person being in a work setting at specific times and it's not easy to get someone to fill in for an hour here or there at the bottom and top of the day. Even many office jobs are that way. If our receptionist/office manager is out from 5-6, there will be a lot of people inconvenienced and less productive, themselves.


Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 14:41     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


What is basically deployed? You either are or you aren't.

TDY isn't deployed.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 14:29     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous[b wrote:]I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. [/b]This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


Need is a strong word.


Shall I just leave my 6 year old at home?


Don't be afraid to ask. I grew up with a single mother (dad died) and she hired babysitters but then we had a neighbor who only worked PT who offered to help. She refused payment so my mom who owned her own business (think accounting or law) did free work for my neighbor. We also had friends who also helped.

I have helped parents when I can also, you just need to ask/communicate.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 14:19     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Problem on DCUM are often judgmental. It’s amazing that Reddit is so much nicer.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 14:17     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 14:04     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.

Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 13:33     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hire a sitter or an afternoon babysitter. Do before and aftercare. Pay a neighbor, hire a high school student, etc. There are many options


It's more complicated than that. My kids attend a private school with no transportation so I need to do pick up and drop off both for school and ports.

I’m rhe PP who posted the suggestions. It’s really not complicated. It may cost more than you prefer to pay, but you just hire someone. This is not an issue that should impact your work. My dh travels for weeks at a time, as do many spouses.
I end up paying more per hour than a nanny would cost, but I no longer need full time, so it’s the more cost effective solution. Use care.com or something to find several options bc I’ve found the part time ones are less reliable than full time. I currently pay a preschool teacher $35/hour after school twice a week to do what you’re looking for. You have to be creative and extensive in your search.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 13:30     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:Call out sick or take vacation for the 2 weeks.


How much leave do you have? This is what I would do.