Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to be a drinker, but frats are a waste of time and money. Put the effort into studying and internship.

+1

They're all about drinking.

So are dorms though. Drinking in college is a scourge. Lots of drugs too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. DS does not like drinking, hates the test. He doesn’t like moronic destructive behavior. He is very social and popular at school. He’s worried about feeling left out in college by Greek life but also wants to avoid it.

Don't know what you mean about "the test". First Gen? Doesn't sound like you really know how social life works in college. Plenty of schools aren't Greek dependent.

Typo taste not test. I love beer and wine. His great grandmother was a big scotch drinker. He’s tried it several times and just can’t stand the taste. He doesn’t like carbonated drinks like soda or seltzer either.

There is zero chance he would ever cede judgment to a group and he isn’t going to let someone degrade him. He’s the kid that will jump in and save someone else.

Anonymous wrote:Some folks act like their frats don’t stink

Wins the internet

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

Wow. This was very a difficult read. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know why they still exist.

Because they are fun.

"Fun"

Male fraternity members who lived in fraternity houses during college had the highest levels of binge drinking and marijuana use relative to non-members and non-students in young adulthood that continued through age 35, controlling for adolescent sociodemographic and other characteristics. At age 35, 45% of the residential fraternity members reported alcohol use disorder (AUD) symptoms reflecting mild to severe AUDs; their adjusted odds of experiencing AUD symptoms at age 35 were higher than all other college and non-college groups except non-residential fraternity members. Residential sorority members had higher odds of AUD symptoms at age 35 when compared to their non-college female peers.

Conclusion
National longitudinal data confirm binge drinking and marijuana use are most prevalent among male fraternity residents relative to non-members and non-students. The increased risk for substance-related consequences associated with fraternity involvement was not developmentally limited to college and is associated with higher levels of long-term AUD symptoms during early midlife.

If he picks a college that has a Residential College system (arbitrary examples: Chicago, Toronto, Yale) and no Greek system then he can avoid it without missing out on anything.

My DS came into college never having had a drink other than a glass of wine at the family dinner table for a holiday. He drank a couple of times fall of freshman year. He decided to rush second semester because he wanted to meet people. He and his roommate joined the same fraternity where he never felt pressure to drink and served on his exec board. He is 22 now and of course he does drink, but I doubt he has ever been actually really "drunk", based on what he has told me. He might have felt some peer pressure to drink but he was always told it was completely fine if he didnt. He is graduating next month and says joining the fratenity was the best thing he did.