Anonymous wrote:First one. Gut instinct.

Yeah, but which gut instinct do you follow, Mother or Father?

Anonymous wrote:I’d pick the first one, not because she was a nurse but because she was a preschool teacher.

This. Mom has seen three kids. Preschool teacher has seen dozens, if not hundreds.

-former teacher/nanny, and current parent

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would pick whichever one seems more active/outgoing and will take your son out and make nanny friends with kids his age to have an informal playgroup with.

Other than that, whichever one would be less tied to their phone.

This 100%

Late, but this 100%. Ask me how I know.

Career nanny here. One thing I would consider is that child care is just part of being a nanny. Being able to coordinate with the parents, helping run a household, and working as a team on stuff like sleep schedules, discipline styles, rules around food/screens/etc. are also important. Additionally, this person will be in your home daily which is a very intrusive role and they will need to be able to share that space respectfully and considerately. Being a nanny can also be a very lonely job and not everyone is cut out to be a self-starter or to spend all day alone with young kids.

I would always advise parents to think carefully before hiring someone to be a nanny who has never been a nanny. It sounds like the teacher/nurse has also worked as a nanny. Was that full time? A pro in her column is that she has had to work diplomatically with a wide variety of parents so she has a lot of experience with different parenting styles, rules and preferences and will know how to balance sharing her opinions with respecting your role as the parent.

For the mom, she definitely knows how to spend a day with young kids, but I would be concerned about having someone who would potentially judge or push back on household systems or rules that don’t come naturally to her.

Nurse

Anonymous wrote:I would pick whichever one seems more active/outgoing and will take your son out and make nanny friends with kids his age to have an informal playgroup with.

Other than that, whichever one would be less tied to their phone.

This 100%

Anonymous wrote:Op here.
I think they'd both be active with him.

Answering a few questions The nurse has been looking for a lower stress job and she enjoys working with families in home. We're paying a very generous salary and she's married so I'm assuming she may not be s concerned about earnings. She and her husband can't have kids so no leaving to get pregnant as someone suggested. The sahm likes working with kids she basically has an empty nest and plans to nanny until her kids are ready to have kids
And yes I know the nanny will be an employee and I don't think the sahm will argue with me I have a hard time having confidence in myself and I think I d second guess myself more with her
I also like that the nurse is a nurse because kids get sick and have accidents and she's also had a wide variety of experience and used to teach preschoolers.
Also DH isn't uncomfortable with the nurse just prefers the mom and truthfully we had considered having his mom be our caregiver, but we had kids later than planned and his mom got I'll and is no longer up to caring for a small kid.

You will second guess yourself a lot as a new mom and just because you’re a mommy and #1 isn’t does mean that won’t happen. I have three kids, all of them are still young (7, 5.5, and almost 3) and the first 2.5 years with my first were hard. Being a new, first time mom is hard and it’s also natural to ask for a nanny’s opinion and have those boundaries get blurry.

I would trust your gut and I would go with someone who is calm, emotionally stable, capable and willing to narrate things to your child and teach your child about the world, reliable - able to get to your house on time and not going to take tons of sick days, able to facilitate play dates and initiate on a variety of things in addition to being able to speak openly about concerns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.
I think they'd both be active with him.

Answering a few questions The nurse has been looking for a lower stress job and she enjoys working with families in home. We're paying a very generous salary and she's married so I'm assuming she may not be s concerned about earnings. She and her husband can't have kids so no leaving to get pregnant as someone suggested. The sahm likes working with kids she basically has an empty nest and plans to nanny until her kids are ready to have kids
And yes I know the nanny will be an employee and I don't think the sahm will argue with me I have a hard time having confidence in myself and I think I d second guess myself more with her
I also like that the nurse is a nurse because kids get sick and have accidents and she's also had a wide variety of experience and used to teach preschoolers.
Also DH isn't uncomfortable with the nurse just prefers the mom and truthfully we had considered having his mom be our caregiver, but we had kids later than planned and his mom got I'll and is no longer up to caring for a small kid.

I mean, I get what you’re saying, but you’re paying her to be a nanny, not a nurse. If your child gets a bump or bruise anybody can help in that situation. Any accident will still need to go to the hospital, regardless of who your nanny is.

I think you’re putting a lot of emphasis on something that won’t bear much into her employment.

What I think is important is for your nanny to have CPR/first aid training, which you should ask the second candidate if she’s willing to be trained.


I have worked in daycare for years and I can tell you I have never needed to use my cpr/first aid.

They both sound like good candidates. Good luck with whoever you choose.

Actually OP is paying for whatever skills set she and her husband find valuable. If OP and her husband have jobs where it's not easy to take off time for a sick kid or need tobring them to medical appointments it might be valuable to them to have someone who does it professionally, and perhaps you have been extremely lucky as a mom or daycare provider but I have definitely had situations with my kid where it have been helpful to have a nurse on had while waiting for anambulance .

Anonymous wrote:Op here.
I think they'd both be active with him.

Answering a few questions The nurse has been looking for a lower stress job and she enjoys working with families in home. We're paying a very generous salary and she's married so I'm assuming she may not be s concerned about earnings. She and her husband can't have kids so no leaving to get pregnant as someone suggested. The sahm likes working with kids she basically has an empty nest and plans to nanny until her kids are ready to have kids
And yes I know the nanny will be an employee and I don't think the sahm will argue with me I have a hard time having confidence in myself and I think I d second guess myself more with her
I also like that the nurse is a nurse because kids get sick and have accidents and she's also had a wide variety of experience and used to teach preschoolers.
Also DH isn't uncomfortable with the nurse just prefers the mom and truthfully we had considered having his mom be our caregiver, but we had kids later than planned and his mom got I'll and is no longer up to caring for a small kid.

I mean, I get what you’re saying, but you’re paying her to be a nanny, not a nurse. If your child gets a bump or bruise anybody can help in that situation. Any accident will still need to go to the hospital, regardless of who your nanny is.

I think you’re putting a lot of emphasis on something that won’t bear much into her employment.

What I think is important is for your nanny to have CPR/first aid training, which you should ask the second candidate if she’s willing to be trained.


I have worked in daycare for years and I can tell you I have never needed to use my cpr/first aid.

They both sound like good candidates. Good luck with whoever you choose.

Neither one is likely to stay long term. Do a trial day for both and pick who’d you like for the next year.