Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it’s a want. The same way wanting to stay married to someone who won’t have sex with you is a “want.”

I know you are trolling. Without sex the relationship is just friendship. Sex is the vehicle for romantic intimacy.

We have not had sex in 7 years. DH has medical issues.

Before that we had a great sex life for about 33? The first 15 years especially.

How old are you two?

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it’s a want. The same way wanting to stay married to someone who won’t have sex with you is a “want.”

I know you are trolling. Without sex the relationship is just friendship. Sex is the vehicle for romantic intimacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread needs to be saved and re-posted every time someone claims sex is a need.

No, it isn’t.

You want sex. Your spouse has cancer. What did you think the “in sickness” part of your vows meant?

Truly you’re the least attractive man on all of DCUM today and I include the gross red-pillers in the politics forum. I hope you are a troll but regardless you’re truly disgusting.

OP said someone pretending to be him started talking about cancer.

Correct. My spouse does not have cancer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she didn't have cancer, would you be divorcing? IOW, if she didn't need your health insurance, would this marriage be over? If the answer is yes, and you both agree with that, then I don't see why it wouldn't be appropriate for you to have sex with a third party, so long as you disclose this and so long as you don't sleep with your spouse and thereby possibly expose her to STIs.

If she didn’t have cancer, we would still be having sex, so no. And I don’t want to divorce. I love her. I just need sex.

This is not OP just a troll. My spouse does not have cancer.

Anonymous wrote:If divorce and therapy are not options, and I do need sex, under what circumstances cheating would be ok?

When you talk to your spouse and discuss it first.

Sex is not a need, it’s a want. The same way wanting to stay married to someone who won’t have sex with you is a “want.”

Lmao

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

Says who?
Woman here

- because, if there are no physical impediments, spouses of either gender have an obligation for intimacy in a marriage.

Granted, all sorts of “issues” can come up; resentment, infidelity, etc, but those are issues an adult couple takes to counseling.

There is an award winning psychological horror videogame called Silent Hill 2 about a guy's guilt for having sexual desires while his wife dies from illness.

What I'm saying is, acknowledge your feelings and unment needs, but don't punish yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

Says who?
Woman here

Anonymous wrote:You’re asking for the internet’s permission to cheat on a woman with cancer. Just sit for a moment with the fact that that’s where your life has gone.

Many, many men do that and also dump their wives with cancer. They’re just not posting on DCUM.

This is why you shouldnt get married as a (straight) man

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

Anonymous wrote:So. I asked for therapy and she doesn’t want. I prefer not to divorce.

The honest thing is to divorce, but I don’t want it yet.

I see most people in unhappy marriages in that situation. If divorce and therapy are out of the menu of options, then what is the next step?

Just have an adult conversation with her.

Start by agreeing normal marriages are not “sexless” (a sexless marriage is defined by therapists as 12 or fewer incidents of coitus over a year).

Since that is not occurring, it’s reasonable and necessary to agree to sex counseling.

Alternatively, invite her to come along with you as you explore online-dating, so you can find a sex partner, since she is not interested.

Anonymous wrote:You have to be honest with your spouse first.

Get a hall pass. Ie; she grants you permission.