Anonymous wrote:Drowning kids in therapy makes them ruminate instead of focusing outward on the world.

I kinda feel this way. Too much naval gazing makes one crazier and more depressed. Get out, serve others, work with your hands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a common problem with young men right now. Watch his exposure to video games and chat rooms. Young men are being exposed to a ton of harmful messages about their self-worth and blaming it on others (especially women).

Understand that the messaging and radicalization they’re exposed to is no different than what created ISIS or other terroir organizations.

Frightening! Outside of this, I don't understand why this is happening with boys. Is there a book on this or documentary on television. Andrew Tate?

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49363958

https://www.npr.org/2022/05/22/1100614913/how-parents-can-spot-the-warning-signs-of-radicalization-in-their-kids

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/examining-the-warning-signs-of-online-extremism-targeting-young-people


https://www.childrenandscreens.org/learn-explore/research/youth-and-online-polarization-and-radicalization/


https://www.vice.com/en/article/how-lonely-men-are-radicalized-online-and-turn-their-rage-into-violence/

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cne4vw1x83po


And an article I read recently specifically mentioned that Boy Scouts are being targeted by white supremacist groups. I’ll try to find it.


There’s a book called DISINFORMED too.

Must not be around MoCo cause my kid's scout troop had black, Jewish, Hispanic, Asian kids, including my own.

We were sitting in this boat last year. Wasn't driving and had zero motivation to even practice and get his license until the month before it was time. We felt like we were banging our heads against the wall trying to get through to him. Friends were bumps on logs and while no drugs, there was no motivation to do anything aside from sit in front of a screen. We tried everything you mentioned in your original post.

I can only offer you my sympathy as 1 year later, after trying it all, we've made an inch of progress. Depending on college admissions, we're capping our financial assistance at paying for 1 year. If he screws up, he can pay for CC himself and feel the burn.

You can't micromanage your son's motivation level and interests.

So much of what "ignites " people is a matter of chance, chance encounters, and circumstance. Someone you meet at a camp who changes your life. Your first job and the people you bond with. The traumatic thing you go through that gives you a passion for a cause Your first serious relationship and the way they redirect you towards another career. The vacation you have that convinces you to move there.

Most kids don't have a passion as teenagers! Let him live his life and be who he is.

Time for a job.

I dunno. I raised 4 kids and some were self starters and 1 was not. I probably bailed him out a couple too many times and then he went into the military and is now 37 with a new wife, great job, and baby on the way.

Getting a job in high school and meeting other people. I realized there was a bigger world. I also liked that no one there was trying to fix me. I discovered that I liked working and it was a good thing for my entire life (now retired and volunteering). I took on extra jobs when I was lonely or bored when I was in grad school or moved to a new place and it helped me through good and bad times. I discovered that I iked to stay busy. I think sometimes analysis is paralysis, at least for me.

I also had to figure out who I was and what I really wanted to do. All I'd ever heard was what my dad wanted me to do and it was not at all anything I had talent for, so I felt like a failure.

Once I learned what I was good at, I got motivated on my own and had a successful education and career. My parents were supportive, like you, but I was just a lot different from them. I have the same experience with my own kids! They have none of my interests or aptitudes, but they do have their own. You will be okay. Give it time.

"The Clapper".... I kid, I kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College degree or no college degree? Either way, U.S. military. Just the perks are better if you enlist with a BA and apply for officer school.

4 years in the Marines. Worked for JD Vance.

He’s a lying, self-serving, spineless, self-serving grifter. I don’t think those are parental dreams come true.

Geez. This used to be called a type B personality. He's totally normal.

Anonymous wrote:College degree or no college degree? Either way, U.S. military. Just the perks are better if you enlist with a BA and apply for officer school.

4 years in the Marines. Worked for JD Vance.

Sports and excellent summer camps. Keep them busy without screens and doing things that encourage perseverance, hard work, goal setting, and community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, working a minimum wage retail job as a teenager really impressed upon me the importance of getting a college education and setting myself up for a "successful" career. I didn't want the lives of my store managers who were in their 20s and 30s, dealing with low pay, working nights and weekends while trying to juggle family responsibilities, terrible benefits, and few options for advancement.

Sounds like working might be good for your son.

Totally disagree. Those jobs put impressionable kids around total losers who are into drugs and other degeneracy. You want your slacker orbiting motivated peers with their shit together, not equally unmotivated or worse. 20 years ago my teenage niece was a hostess at a local diner and the 20 something manager started a relationship with her and tried to marry her before she went off to college!

Who did she end u marrying?

She's married to a boy she met at that out of state college. Thank God!

Read "The Self-Driven Child." Like, this week.


The short answer is you need to back off and let him completely own and make his own choices. I agree with others that he needs to know that his safety net is going away in a few years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, working a minimum wage retail job as a teenager really impressed upon me the importance of getting a college education and setting myself up for a "successful" career. I didn't want the lives of my store managers who were in their 20s and 30s, dealing with low pay, working nights and weekends while trying to juggle family responsibilities, terrible benefits, and few options for advancement.

Sounds like working might be good for your son.

Totally disagree. Those jobs put impressionable kids around total losers who are into drugs and other degeneracy. You want your slacker orbiting motivated peers with their shit together, not equally unmotivated or worse. 20 years ago my teenage niece was a hostess at a local diner and the 20 something manager started a relationship with her and tried to marry her before she went off to college!

Who did she end u marrying?