Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

I think if you are in NWDC, particularly in bounds to J-R and can afford private, you have might as many high quality school options as anywhere in the country. I think your sense of possibilities may be a little warped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.

We switched our DD from public to private in 8th grade and we regret not doing it earlier. We live in a very good public school district and she was getting all A’s and high test scores. She had to work twice as hard to get A’s and B’s her first year at private. She’s catching up but it’s clear that the kids who grew up in private have better critical writing skills, and are more confident and articulate.

We love our public school teachers but it was very clear they were stretched. Our private school teachers have much more time and resources to help students.

Which private school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really mixed feelings about private school. We can afford it, but I’m worried it’s not the best choice for our kids because I really believe in the importance of public schools and the power of succeeding in an environment where you’re not coddled. I think our neurotypical kid could probably do that. But where we live, switching to non-religious private school in upper elementary is hard. And that’s right when, anecdotally, satisfaction with the local public schools seems to plummet. So I’m also worried about ending up stuck or having to move during a sensitive social moment.

So I didn’t resolve any of those issues and now we’re just plowing ahead with private school. But I have no one to talk to about this irl, because being able to afford private school is obviously a huge privilege and a touchy subject. So is moving to a more expensive neighborhood for access to more uniformly affluent public schools that seem better managed.

It felt like I had so much time to figure this out and then bam, we’ve signed and it’s all in motion.

Anyway I know this is a caviar problem because of the money, but it is still hard.

I think you did the right thing OP, because I think fundamentally, you believe that a private school education is better. Therefore, if you waited and then couldn’t get in, you probably would always regret it.

OP “believes” private is better because it is. At least here in the DMV. My kids were in DCPS before we switched to a very expensive posh private school. Do I think they are missing out somehow because they don’t have to dive behind cars when the local gang walks through shooting the street up on a random Saturday (true story)? Do I think they need to be toughened up by making them ride the now dangerous and filthy metro system (coming from someone that only took metro for decades because I learned to drive late)? No. Not one bit. I cannot for the world understand why parents think street cred is more important than rigorous academics, refinement, and a disciplined approach to life. Get over yourself and off your high horse. Mediocrity, especially in education, is not a path to being holier than thou and your false sense of self righteousness is annoying to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling really conflicted about the public vs private decision. Our kids go to public and so does everyone else we know in the neighborhood expect one religious family. I'm told our district and schools score in the top 1% of the state's public schools. At the same time, our private schools are an unknown (since everyone goes public). We are considering the move to private based on disruptive kids (but again, I don't know what is "normal" and maybe we won't be better off in private) and what looks like a weak literacy curriculum. I'm telling myself that strong kids do well in different situations and I hope that is true in our case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really mixed feelings about private school. We can afford it, but I’m worried it’s not the best choice for our kids because I really believe in the importance of public schools and the power of succeeding in an environment where you’re not coddled. I think our neurotypical kid could probably do that. But where we live, switching to non-religious private school in upper elementary is hard. And that’s right when, anecdotally, satisfaction with the local public schools seems to plummet. So I’m also worried about ending up stuck or having to move during a sensitive social moment.

So I didn’t resolve any of those issues and now we’re just plowing ahead with private school. But I have no one to talk to about this irl, because being able to afford private school is obviously a huge privilege and a touchy subject. So is moving to a more expensive neighborhood for access to more uniformly affluent public schools that seem better managed.

It felt like I had so much time to figure this out and then bam, we’ve signed and it’s all in motion.

Anyway I know this is a caviar problem because of the money, but it is still hard.

I think you did the right thing OP, because I think fundamentally, you believe that a private school education is better. Therefore, if you waited and then couldn’t get in, you probably would always regret it.

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.

We switched our DD from public to private in 8th grade and we regret not doing it earlier. We live in a very good public school district and she was getting all A’s and high test scores. She had to work twice as hard to get A’s and B’s her first year at private. She’s catching up but it’s clear that the kids who grew up in private have better critical writing skills, and are more confident and articulate.

We love our public school teachers but it was very clear they were stretched. Our private school teachers have much more time and resources to help students.

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.