Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its wonderful for the man. His wife comes with housing and college funds for children. She also comes with country club membership, family vacation homes, professional connections and her own money. The man does not have ownership of the house, but, he does not have to pay the mortgage either. He can take all his money and invest most of it. He does not have to save for college for his kids. He does not have to pay for anything but food and medicines when he retires. His housing is provided to him for the rest of his life for FREE.

In other words, he can have a lovely life, lovely wife, lovely kids without being a provider.

This sums it up! He does not get assets gifted to just him, but (as long as he stays married) he is set for life!

I dated a very rich girl (I was poor growing up). Her aunt married a guy in the "trades". They had four kids and married like 35 years. I went over their beautiful house for a party, saw wonderful cars in driveway. And he was running around topping up drinks, back and forth to kitchen, was like a waiter at his own party. Was clear he knew his place in society.

Her Dad loved me. I had a "man to man" talk with him and he I like you a lot so won't have to sign a pre-nup with him and his wife and her Grandmother who was still alive that you are not eligible for any of the assets my daughter inherits in case of a divorce or she dies before you.

I was friendly with Dad I said I would have no problem signing as I had no desire for your money. But is that a thing? Yep and his sister made his money hungry new son-in law sign.

It really opened my eyes.

one of our friends are in this situation (middle class proffessional guy married a woman from a very wealthy family -- she has a not lucrative job that she loves).

here is how their lives are better:

house purchased with her family money
nanny paid for by family money
can go to NYC and stay for free in a family apartment

There is probably more. But those (especially top two) factors just make his life much, much easier. He can basically have whatever job he wants, and can save his salary for all the smaller purchases.

Anonymous wrote:Its wonderful for the man. His wife comes with housing and college funds for children. She also comes with country club membership, family vacation homes, professional connections and her own money. The man does not have ownership of the house, but, he does not have to pay the mortgage either. He can take all his money and invest most of it. He does not have to save for college for his kids. He does not have to pay for anything but food and medicines when he retires. His housing is provided to him for the rest of his life for FREE.

In other words, he can have a lovely life, lovely wife, lovely kids without being a provider.

This sums it up! He does not get assets gifted to just him, but (as long as he stays married) he is set for life!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. One of my girlfriends married into a very wealthy family. The family’s wealth certainly gives her day to day access to resources that make her life easier and helps her advance her own career — homes, Nannies, housekeepers, luxury travel, networking, and travel planners on call. She never has to worry about cost of private schools or ability for kids to get into top ivies (family has made large donations to HYP). This has helped her maintain a high powered exec career and build her own resources.

However it is clear that these are the family’s resources and not her own to control. For example — the family charges for use of the vacation homes when she’s there without husband or kids. The homes are fully staffed luxe properties so maybe that makes sense to manage use across a large family…

This sounds cold.

It's petty on either side. Petty of the family to charge and petty of the DIL to be sharing this with her friend. If i was DIL, I would not use the property since my ILs have made their feelings clear.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. One of my girlfriends married into a very wealthy family. The family’s wealth certainly gives her day to day access to resources that make her life easier and helps her advance her own career — homes, Nannies, housekeepers, luxury travel, networking, and travel planners on call. She never has to worry about cost of private schools or ability for kids to get into top ivies (family has made large donations to HYP). This has helped her maintain a high powered exec career and build her own resources.

However it is clear that these are the family’s resources and not her own to control. For example — the family charges for use of the vacation homes when she’s there without husband or kids. The homes are fully staffed luxe properties so maybe that makes sense to manage use across a large family…

This sounds cold.

I know a guy who married into a pretty wealthy family. The life is on easy mode, but also seems like they are still treated like kids by the parents. One spouse has a hobby job and the other does some light business stuff w/family. They’ve been given a few houses and turned the extra ones into rentals for monthly income. Given their cars. Vacations at the in laws vacation homes almost exclusively. Outwardly pretty nice life but seem really attached to the parents


- have been given a few houses over the past decade and now have turned a couple into rentals.

Mo money mo problems - mostly true

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds nice. Life gets hard as UMC in this area. Why not have help with a downpayment on a house, send your children to great schools, be well traveled, have help with college. It sounds charmed to me. I would say thank you and enjoy it.

+1

OP, it sounds nice. Life gets hard as UMC in this area. Why not have help with a downpayment on a house, send your children to great schools, be well traveled, have help with college. It sounds charmed to me. I would say thank you and enjoy it.

Anonymous wrote:sort of related question but also hadn't thought of this either. For a normal/middle class family, when a parent dies, does that JUST go to their actual child and not the SIL/DIL? Or, absent the legal mechanisms or trusts, it ultimately goes to both of them?

inheritance is not a marital asset, it is separate property. unless the inheritor commingles it with marital funds. so always open a new solely titled bank account for inherited funds.

Anonymous wrote:Its wonderful for the man. His wife comes with housing and college funds for children. She also comes with country club membership, family vacation homes, professional connections and her own money. The man does not have ownership of the house, but, he does not have to pay the mortgage either. He can take all his money and invest most of it. He does not have to save for college for his kids. He does not have to pay for anything but food and medicines when he retires. His housing is provided to him for the rest of his life for FREE.

In other words, he can have a lovely life, lovely wife, lovely kids without being a provider.

Yeah I don't understand the criticisms here. You're getting a bunch of stuff for free, but people are mad that they're only able to live in a house but not be able to sell it? Well save the money you would have spent on rent/mortgage, invest it in the stock market, and you'll easily be able to afford it in cash in less the time it'll take you to pay off a 30-year mortgage.

Its wonderful for the man. His wife comes with housing and college funds for children. She also comes with country club membership, family vacation homes, professional connections and her own money. The man does not have ownership of the house, but, he does not have to pay the mortgage either. He can take all his money and invest most of it. He does not have to save for college for his kids. He does not have to pay for anything but food and medicines when he retires. His housing is provided to him for the rest of his life for FREE.

In other words, he can have a lovely life, lovely wife, lovely kids without being a provider.

I think, unfortunately, a man marrying a wealthy female probably gets a worse off pre-nup deal than the reverse. All the more reason why they should maintain their career - and it'll be easier for them since they don't have to pay for the home or the help.

Inequality in a marriage isn't a good thing. Also people this wealthy have shark lawyers to protect their inheritance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's been a great deal for the men I know. They were able to buy a large home in a prestigious area due to family money. It boosts their ability to get new business due to family contacts. Their children's education is fully-funded. No stress about paying for anything and more time to spend on family and friends.

The large home is most likely owned by a trust, to which the husband is not the beneficiary. In other words, the husband doesn’t own the house is lives in and could be thrown on the streets any day.

The husbands have their own income and assets.