Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 20:05     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
New poster- my mom sends rude texts just like the OP’s. She also leaves equally rude and whiny voicemails. Now that I have a young adult DC, I am even more astonished that my mom hopes to maintain a good relationship with me through her communication style. I would never treat my 22 year old DC that way.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:47     Subject: Re:Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When my kids were little, I told them to do things, as opposed to asking. "Go put on pjs and brush your teeth." Rather than "Do you want to go pick out your pjs and brush teeth?" No. I am the adult and it was my place to tell them what to do. I had to make a very conscious effort around senior year of college to change the way I spoke to them. I didn't switch to asking but instead of "Empty the kitchen trash now," it became "I'm starting dinner at 6pm and want the kitchen trash emptied before then, so you can get it done any time in the next two hours." And then when they were living elsewhere and visiting, I further switched to asking. "Would you please empty the kitchen trash as soon as you finish that?" I had to really think about it. Maybe your mom never made that switch.


Wow. I switched that when they were about 10. They know these aren’t really requests, but it is much more pleasant for everyone if they are phrased as such.

I can’t imagine ordering a senior in college to empty the trash. They have been a grown adult for 4 years! Some of you are very rude. Do you order your spouses as well? My DH has the sense not to command me, thank goodness for him!


I mistyped- should say senior year of HS, not college.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:45     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
3/4 of America texts like this and gets annoyed if you write a full sentence. You probably have other issues with you mom treating you like a child and having control issues.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:44     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
This is how my immigrant Boomer parents text. But it doesn’t deviate much from their non-text communication style.

I’ll send my mom a few sentences here and there along with some pictures of her grandchildren. Her response “Ok.” She also likes to tell me to “Teach them about God” when I send her a random text.

Cool cool.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:38     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
My MIL has never used a nicety in her life. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word please leave her mouth. Thank you? Never.

I ignore her texts 90% of the time. I suggest you do the same OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:36     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
I would ignore the gift asks. Just say the kids don’t need gifts.

The rest is just let go. “Ok mom” or ignore.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:27     Subject: Re:Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:When my kids were little, I told them to do things, as opposed to asking. "Go put on pjs and brush your teeth." Rather than "Do you want to go pick out your pjs and brush teeth?" No. I am the adult and it was my place to tell them what to do. I had to make a very conscious effort around senior year of college to change the way I spoke to them. I didn't switch to asking but instead of "Empty the kitchen trash now," it became "I'm starting dinner at 6pm and want the kitchen trash emptied before then, so you can get it done any time in the next two hours." And then when they were living elsewhere and visiting, I further switched to asking. "Would you please empty the kitchen trash as soon as you finish that?" I had to really think about it. Maybe your mom never made that switch.


ROTFLMAO
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 19:01     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t find these rude? Direct, but not rude.


Um, not only are all those commands rude, but to TELL someone to buy gifts on their behalf, and then never send the money to pay them back? Are you kidding me? You don’t get that that is rude?


You can't post a retort without "um"?


I see you can’t find fault with the point, so you pick at the delivery.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:57     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t find these rude? Direct, but not rude.


Um, not only are all those commands rude, but to TELL someone to buy gifts on their behalf, and then never send the money to pay them back? Are you kidding me? You don’t get that that is rude?


You can't post a retort without "um"?
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:56     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t find these rude? Direct, but not rude.


Um, not only are all those commands rude, but to TELL someone to buy gifts on their behalf, and then never send the money to pay them back? Are you kidding me? You don’t get that that is rude?


How many times has mom paid for gifts on behalf of OP? We have no idea.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:56     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:Older people have had their hands slapped for sending page long texts. now they are getting their hand slapped for direct, short texts. What do you guys want? (I get the frustration, my MIL sends me eye roll emojis b/c she thinks it means 'let me think about that')


You might have a point, except for the fact that OP’s mom tells her to buy gifts for the grandkids and then doesn’t pay her back.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:55     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:This is just how older people text. As briefly as possible. Dating back to the days they could barely figure out typing on a phone. All of these are identical to texts I’ve received from my mother and it has never seemed rude to me. So, there’s some other reason you’re bothered.


You *might* have a leg to stand on if OP’s mom paid her back for gifts. That’s low. To command someone to buy gifts on your behalf and then not pay them back? Not as a one-off, but consistently? Wow.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:54     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Anonymous wrote:I don’t find these rude? Direct, but not rude.


Um, not only are all those commands rude, but to TELL someone to buy gifts on their behalf, and then never send the money to pay them back? Are you kidding me? You don’t get that that is rude?
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:51     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Older people have had their hands slapped for sending page long texts. now they are getting their hand slapped for direct, short texts. What do you guys want? (I get the frustration, my MIL sends me eye roll emojis b/c she thinks it means 'let me think about that')
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2025 18:50     Subject: Had it with my mother’s rude texts
Maybe she got some texting tips from a Gen Z relative or something? Some young people are very brief in their texts and actually annoyed by any unnecessary words. I have a nephew who is extremely sweet and well mannered but his texts are very short and devoid of pleasantries.