Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 15:01     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


Why do you keep insisting he can't play basketball? I have a friend whose son did exactly this but he quit soccer. In 7th grade. There are teams that will take him for sure.

Also swimmers don't call swim teams "travel". It's club swim. I'm wondering if you are a troll.


Go on YouTube and search something like 11 or 12 year old travel basketball. Boys that age are not just horsing around, they're amazing. DS only looks good because he's playing against untalented kids in a loosely organized local league. He would not make an truly organized team. It's just fun to him but not fun enough for him to be motivated to relentlessly practice all the time to get better. This interest in basketball is being fueled by delusions and peer pressure and bullying.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:59     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Have him keep swimming but not as much and let him try what he wants.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:57     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


So what? What matters most, his happiness or being 'the best" or "on travel team"? Focus on the child.


No, he's being unduly influenced by idiot boy middle schoolers who think swimming is not cool and basketball is. Swimming is not a sport you can generally stop and pick up later--it's a sport you need to be conditioned for, so stopping can make it very hard to pick it up again.

OP--is there an older boy H.S. boy on his club team or summer team who could maybe talk to him/encourage him? Have you had him talk to his coaches about this? Or could switching to a new club team maybe reinvigorate him.

Middle schoolers don't understand swimming. By high school, all those boys telling him how uncool swimming is will admire your son for his dedication (up at 4am for practice), remarkable physical condition, and regular interaction with the girls on his team. Don't listen to all these people telling you to just let him throw in the towel. Obviously, you can't force a kid to continue in a sport. But you should really make sure he's making the decision to leave the sport for the right reasons.


+1. I'm convinced this forum is full of childless misanthropes.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:52     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Swimming is foe losers OP
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:50     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


Why do you keep insisting he can't play basketball? I have a friend whose son did exactly this but he quit soccer. In 7th grade. There are teams that will take him for sure.

Also swimmers don't call swim teams "travel". It's club swim. I'm wondering if you are a troll.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:48     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?


Do you understand higher level teen basketball? It's too late. He's not good enough to play past this little local league.


No, I know nothing about higher level teen basketball, so please explain to me the problem with your child having fun, getting exercise, and socializing in "this little local league."


Quit swim to focus on basketball. Basketball league he can compete in ends in about 12 months. He won’t be good enough to proceed into any next level of basketball. Basketball ends and he already quit swimming. Now what, genius?


Um, he picks a new sport to try or he returns to swimming? Or maybe he joins the drama club? What is wrong with those options, genius? Not enough social clout for mom?
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:47     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever dealt with this? Advice please.

DS is amazing at swimming but gets defiant about swimming anymore. I think his tween friends are pressuring him about it because it's not a "cool" sport. On the other hand he plays in a very casual neighborhood basketball league and he loves it. He appears advanced at basketball in this league but only because it's so casual and full of kids who do not take it seriously. Were this a basketball league at the level of his swimming activities, he wouldn't make a team. Now he has delusions about basketball because he thinks he's so good at it and it's a "cooler" sport.


this is very similar to our situation down to the same sports (swimming and basketball). I have chosen not to say anything and just nod and try to be supportive. Last spring it was football he was interested in trying out and by the time fall rolled around he lost interest. Trying very hard not be the "you can't do XYZ because of swim". At the end of the day, he's still a kid. I get it. Club-level swimming is lonely. I'm glad, however, that he got to experience a full season of HS swimming, including districts, and now on to regionals - excitement level is totally different.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:45     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?


Do you understand higher level teen basketball? It's too late. He's not good enough to play past this little local league.


So? What is the end game, exactly? He is not going to be an Olympic swimmer. Even if he were talented enough, he doesn't like swimming. Sports are supposed to be for fun, for team building, for exercise. Literally WHO CARES.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:44     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


So what? What matters most, his happiness or being 'the best" or "on travel team"? Focus on the child.


No, he's being unduly influenced by idiot boy middle schoolers who think swimming is not cool and basketball is. Swimming is not a sport you can generally stop and pick up later--it's a sport you need to be conditioned for, so stopping can make it very hard to pick it up again.

OP--is there an older boy H.S. boy on his club team or summer team who could maybe talk to him/encourage him? Have you had him talk to his coaches about this? Or could switching to a new club team maybe reinvigorate him.

Middle schoolers don't understand swimming. By high school, all those boys telling him how uncool swimming is will admire your son for his dedication (up at 4am for practice), remarkable physical condition, and regular interaction with the girls on his team. Don't listen to all these people telling you to just let him throw in the towel. Obviously, you can't force a kid to continue in a sport. But you should really make sure he's making the decision to leave the sport for the right reasons.


Oh God you made it sound even worse! Also, getting up that early is incredibly unhealthy for teens, doofus.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:43     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
It’s funny because friends of ours had a kid in the exact same situation.

Kid did manage to get on a low level AAU basketball team and made the HS freshman team, but saw the writing he would never make varsity.

Ended up turning to XCountry and track and loves it and the team.

He has absolutely zero regrets on giving up swimming. I assume like OP’s kid, he wasn’t putting up Olympic-like times, so who knows if he would have worsened relative to his competition when older.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:41     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?


Do you understand higher level teen basketball? It's too late. He's not good enough to play past this little local league.


No, I know nothing about higher level teen basketball, so please explain to me the problem with your child having fun, getting exercise, and socializing in "this little local league."


Quit swim to focus on basketball. Basketball league he can compete in ends in about 12 months. He won’t be good enough to proceed into any next level of basketball. Basketball ends and he already quit swimming. Now what, genius?


Don’t you have any hoops in your neighborhood? Any indoor courts (like at a YMCA)? You do realize that even grown men continue to play basketball just for fun, right?
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:25     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
How many years has he been swimming year round? Middle school is a prime time for kids to quit sports in favor of more social ventures, which may be basketball for your son.

Ultimately, as long as he's playing a sport and staying busy and active, who cares? If he doesn't love swimming so much he can't imagine life without it, he won't be swimming in college anyway.

Signed, former D1 swimmer.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:19     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


So what? What matters most, his happiness or being 'the best" or "on travel team"? Focus on the child.


No, he's being unduly influenced by idiot boy middle schoolers who think swimming is not cool and basketball is. Swimming is not a sport you can generally stop and pick up later--it's a sport you need to be conditioned for, so stopping can make it very hard to pick it up again.

OP--is there an older boy H.S. boy on his club team or summer team who could maybe talk to him/encourage him? Have you had him talk to his coaches about this? Or could switching to a new club team maybe reinvigorate him.

Middle schoolers don't understand swimming. By high school, all those boys telling him how uncool swimming is will admire your son for his dedication (up at 4am for practice), remarkable physical condition, and regular interaction with the girls on his team. Don't listen to all these people telling you to just let him throw in the towel. Obviously, you can't force a kid to continue in a sport. But you should really make sure he's making the decision to leave the sport for the right reasons.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:07     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.


Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.


So what? What matters most, his happiness or being 'the best" or "on travel team"? Focus on the child.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:05     Subject: Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at
Anonymous wrote:Let him play what he likes. Geez.


+1 OP the point of sports is exercise and enjoyment, not personal misery to live your parent's dream.