Anonymous
Post 02/08/2025 12:49     Subject: Re:When does your toddler have a pacifier?
My son is turning 2 in March and he can only have it in his room for nap/sleep. My goal is this summer to be completely off. I was a thumb sucker and I have already seen him sucking a few times on his fingers. That is a harder habit to stop. I sucked my thumb tillI was almost 5.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2025 14:38     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Got rid of it at 4. She always used it just for sleep.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 19:22     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:If you're not a troll, why are you posting this particular question here? There are other message boards for people who parent like you; you're likely to get better advice for your situation on those types of sites with more like-minded people. If you have been here before, you should not be surprised at getting pushback on this. Most of us who post here will judge someone whose 3-year-old is at the grocery store with a Paci in their mouth.


Op here - I found this community a few months back, I have seen posts with a mix of views. I welcome different ways of parenting because e every child is different. I was interested to see if people thought the same and the person who spoke about it, I see a lot of other kids with them but I guess not on hear. I don't know if online communities that are dedicated to child led parenting. I have in person groups, but I like to be involved. While I've answered things in this thread my daughter is still doing just as well as others. I message in other areas of this site and get agreement often, I thought this would be the same
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 18:17     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah. Tell all those other play date parents that your kid isn’t vaccinated please. Criminy. Either a troll or a clueless parent.


OP here - I searched and the vaccination rate is 92%. But we are talking with her about medicine and how it is important, she will be vaccinated at some point. But she will not be the only child in playgroup without them


Ok, up until this post I thought you were just a clueless, young, uneducated first-time mother who follows influencers' advice over medical professionals' but now I'm convinced you are a troll.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 18:10     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
If you're not a troll, why are you posting this particular question here? There are other message boards for people who parent like you; you're likely to get better advice for your situation on those types of sites with more like-minded people. If you have been here before, you should not be surprised at getting pushback on this. Most of us who post here will judge someone whose 3-year-old is at the grocery store with a Paci in their mouth.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 18:07     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah. Tell all those other play date parents that your kid isn’t vaccinated please. Criminy. Either a troll or a clueless parent.


OP here - I searched and the vaccination rate is 92%. But we are talking with her about medicine and how it is important, she will be vaccinated at some point. But she will not be the only child in playgroup without them
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 18:02     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Yeah. Tell all those other play date parents that your kid isn’t vaccinated please. Criminy. Either a troll or a clueless parent.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 17:55     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kid ditched it herself at 4 months. If it had helped her sleep I would have let her keep it forever.

I do think not potty training by 3 is a bit ridiculous, though. I don’t agree with the idea that there’s any benefit in waiting until a kid indicates they are ready. Mine was not interested but trained easily in 1 day at 2.5. We don’t wait for them to be “ready” to wear a car seat or go to preschool or brush their teeth. Seems arbitrary to allow a toddler to dictate the terms on this one important life skill that has a big impact on mom’s quality of life.


Op her - we are doing the child led approach. We gently ask her if she's ready but won't force her yet. I am sure she'll be ready to be out of diapers soon and I want it to be a positive experience for her as well


Why are you so sure she’ll be “ready” soon?

Why does parent-initiated have to mean negative experience?

My kid liked and was not traumatized by potty training. She got candy. There were no tears. Was your child traumatized by the introduction of solids?


OP here - I'm sure parent led can be a positive experience but I don't think it is best for my daughter. Child led still means we have potties out, we suggest it and encourage it, but if she chooses not to then we won't push. If she wanted to try earlier than now and it didn't work we'd make sure to step back if needed. So we introduce things and take pace. She is curious and learning really well with our guidance and her lead. But she does not mind her wet diaper and hasn't got an interest in the potty yet.

I am listening to advice as well. I made this post as someone made comment on her having a pacifier at the grocery store and being too old. I'm listening to the comments and will limit her access to it. And if she asks I will ask if she really wants it, but won't keep it from her if she does want it. She will give it up completely in her own time, but I will guide her by limiting it a bit.

She will have none of this in high school and she has plenty of time before kindergarten


Yikes. You are the parent. Lead. Is your child in any type of preschool? I cannot imagine they don't frown on this.

Luckily, my kid never used a pacifier, though he knew what they were from others with babies. One day he saw a 3 year old walking into preschool wtih his paci in his mouth. He looked at kid, then at me for reaction (poker face) and then once we had gone by, said, pretty loudly, "why did that kid have a baby thing in his mouth??" Embarrassing for sure, so we talked at home.


Op here - She goes to some playgroups but not a daycare. And she has it less when playing with other children. Today I met up with a parent friend and she only had her pacifier after she finished playing to settle down. I'm sure you told your son that some children want the extra soothing.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 15:59     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Gentle parenting does not at all say anything about being child led on milestones. It’s just about how you hold firm boundaries. Each of your posts talks about how you let your child set boundaries, not you. That’s fine, but that is not gentle parenting.

What if your daughter felt she wasn’t ready for vaccinations? The examples just go on and on. If anything, gentle parenting says that kids feel safer when they can tell that adults are in control of structure and boundaries. The gentle part is in how you respond to their distress at bumping up against those boundaries. Letting kids decide their own major life decisions is scary, according to gentle parenting.

I think your post was, as you said, just hoping to find other parents who think pacifiers and not potty training past 3 are fine, and it seems like they are not to most of us, but I’m sure others will come along to affirm your choices.


Op here - correct it isn't gentle parenting, I read a bit and that isn't how I want to parent, I am mainly child led. Janet Lansbury is a good example.

She cried and cried for the vaccines so we chose not to give them. They're don't do anything anyway so there was no real pressure to get them. But actual important things will happen when they need to. I wanted to see if people are thinking what someone said in the store about my daughter looking too old for her pacifier. It's fine that people think that way, but it's not enough to change my way, I was interested to see if others were having the same approach. I didn't even bring up potty training, but I will defend my reason as training too early often causes problems down the line. So while I might wait later than it is possible to do so, I won't be doing it too early by trusting her



Wait, did you just say you didn’t give your kid vaccines because she cried? I’m officially calling troll on this whole thread.


Op here- she would not stay still, the paediatrician said to book another day, I decided it wasn't worth her feeling that way again, we did try to talk about it. I am not anti or pro vaccine. I had my COVID vaccine


is this serious? because your toddler cried at a shot? 10 year olds cry and still get them....
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 14:35     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kid ditched it herself at 4 months. If it had helped her sleep I would have let her keep it forever.

I do think not potty training by 3 is a bit ridiculous, though. I don’t agree with the idea that there’s any benefit in waiting until a kid indicates they are ready. Mine was not interested but trained easily in 1 day at 2.5. We don’t wait for them to be “ready” to wear a car seat or go to preschool or brush their teeth. Seems arbitrary to allow a toddler to dictate the terms on this one important life skill that has a big impact on mom’s quality of life.


Op her - we are doing the child led approach. We gently ask her if she's ready but won't force her yet. I am sure she'll be ready to be out of diapers soon and I want it to be a positive experience for her as well


Why are you so sure she’ll be “ready” soon?

Why does parent-initiated have to mean negative experience?

My kid liked and was not traumatized by potty training. She got candy. There were no tears. Was your child traumatized by the introduction of solids?


OP here - I'm sure parent led can be a positive experience but I don't think it is best for my daughter. Child led still means we have potties out, we suggest it and encourage it, but if she chooses not to then we won't push. If she wanted to try earlier than now and it didn't work we'd make sure to step back if needed. So we introduce things and take pace. She is curious and learning really well with our guidance and her lead. But she does not mind her wet diaper and hasn't got an interest in the potty yet.

I am listening to advice as well. I made this post as someone made comment on her having a pacifier at the grocery store and being too old. I'm listening to the comments and will limit her access to it. And if she asks I will ask if she really wants it, but won't keep it from her if she does want it. She will give it up completely in her own time, but I will guide her by limiting it a bit.

She will have none of this in high school and she has plenty of time before kindergarten


Yikes. You are the parent. Lead. Is your child in any type of preschool? I cannot imagine they don't frown on this.

Luckily, my kid never used a pacifier, though he knew what they were from others with babies. One day he saw a 3 year old walking into preschool wtih his paci in his mouth. He looked at kid, then at me for reaction (poker face) and then once we had gone by, said, pretty loudly, "why did that kid have a baby thing in his mouth??" Embarrassing for sure, so we talked at home.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 14:22     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:We limited to bed only at 1 year and took it away completely at 3. My friend is a speech therapist and told me it interferes with speech development when toddlers use them throughout the day.


This was the same for us, too. Crib only starting at 1, gone by 3.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 14:13     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
I hope this isn't a troll because the DD's teen years should be fun.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 10:59     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:Complete troll. Can’t believe we fell for it.


Yep. Wrap it up, ladies. We’ve been had.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 10:59     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Anonymous wrote:Complete troll. Can’t believe we fell for it.


Op here - different views on parenting does not make me a troll, Ive taken some the advice and collected the pacifiers in the house so she has them less. But I won't change my parenting beliefs that I have been challenged on.

If everyone parented the same way the world would not be a colorful place full of amazing individuals.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2025 10:04     Subject: When does your toddler have a pacifier?
Complete troll. Can’t believe we fell for it.