Anonymous
01/30/2025 15:15
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
Anonymous wrote:OP: Trust your gut, use the experience as a data point, and be totally honest with yourself. Yes, the varsity coach should be a good ambassador for the school no matter what. But the more highly ranked the team is, the less that coach is interested in 7th graders who *may* apply in future (meeting F/JV coach may have been better for a 7th grader). Also, if you went in thinking your kid isn't gonna play at next level, coach may have sensed that too. If the sport is really important to your son, try to make sure he has opportunities to participate for as long as possible (plenty of rec and travel options outside school). Also, not playing for school team could give him a chance to develop other interests he can excel at and enjoy and continue later in life. At the end of the day, pick the school that feels like best overall fit, and part of that is feeling wanted, comfortable, and supported to push himself to grow as a student/person/athlete.
DP: I would expect a coach at an open house to interact appropriately with a kid asking about the chess team, let alone the sport he coaches, not show disinterest because the kid isn't going be his future starting guard.
But agree OP should treat it as one data point, maybe it was an off moment. I've worked open houses and it can be hard to be "on" the whole time in a crowded room full of strangers.
Anonymous
01/30/2025 15:10
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here--to clarify: the interaction with the coach was not great because the coach didn't seem to have any interest in engaging with our DS. He wasn't able to hold a basic conversation (eg what team do you play for, what position do you play, etc), which we found a bit alarming for someone who works with kids. I'm okay with the reality that my kid is not someone this coach is interested in recruiting, but I would expect an adult coach at an open house to be able to interact with kids on a basic level regardless of whether the kid was a potential recruit. His inability to do so has me really questioning the school's judgment because this guy is also a teacher.
At a busy open house?
Or at a 1:1 talk?
Anyways, call back after puberty.
Haha. 100% on this.
Sorry, but what does that have to do with what OP is asking? She isn't claiming her kid is a superstar. She's asking whether an adult's apparent inability to interact well with kids should be a factor in deciding whether this is someone you want to choose as your kid's future teacher and maybe coach.
Anonymous
01/29/2025 22:11
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
OP: Trust your gut, use the experience as a data point, and be totally honest with yourself. Yes, the varsity coach should be a good ambassador for the school no matter what. But the more highly ranked the team is, the less that coach is interested in 7th graders who *may* apply in future (meeting F/JV coach may have been better for a 7th grader). Also, if you went in thinking your kid isn't gonna play at next level, coach may have sensed that too. If the sport is really important to your son, try to make sure he has opportunities to participate for as long as possible (plenty of rec and travel options outside school). Also, not playing for school team could give him a chance to develop other interests he can excel at and enjoy and continue later in life. At the end of the day, pick the school that feels like best overall fit, and part of that is feeling wanted, comfortable, and supported to push himself to grow as a student/person/athlete.
Anonymous
01/28/2025 18:32
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here--to clarify: the interaction with the coach was not great because the coach didn't seem to have any interest in engaging with our DS. He wasn't able to hold a basic conversation (eg what team do you play for, what position do you play, etc), which we found a bit alarming for someone who works with kids. I'm okay with the reality that my kid is not someone this coach is interested in recruiting, but I would expect an adult coach at an open house to be able to interact with kids on a basic level regardless of whether the kid was a potential recruit. His inability to do so has me really questioning the school's judgment because this guy is also a teacher.
At a busy open house?
Or at a 1:1 talk?
Anyways, call back after puberty.
Haha. 100% on this.
Anonymous
01/28/2025 18:11
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
Anonymous wrote:OP here--to clarify: the interaction with the coach was not great because the coach didn't seem to have any interest in engaging with our DS. He wasn't able to hold a basic conversation (eg what team do you play for, what position do you play, etc), which we found a bit alarming for someone who works with kids. I'm okay with the reality that my kid is not someone this coach is interested in recruiting, but I would expect an adult coach at an open house to be able to interact with kids on a basic level regardless of whether the kid was a potential recruit. His inability to do so has me really questioning the school's judgment because this guy is also a teacher.
At a busy open house?
Or at a 1:1 talk?
Anyways, call back after puberty.
Anonymous
01/28/2025 11:21
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
^agree. We had one of these grade 7 interactions with the coach and, while better than OP’s interaction, it was not promising. Our neighbors had also told us not to go to School X just for Sport Y. At that point, DS in 7th grade, we all thought that he might play that sport in college. At the time I was worried, but DS loved School X, and I said to myself, how bad can it be?
Fast forward and the answer was: quite bad. It was toxic. After his freshman year, I suggested a transfer, but DS was still loving everything other than Sport Y and would not consider a transfer. He played all four years because Sport Y was in his blood, but every season brought a new challenge and became a matter of survival, not enjoyment.
It all worked out because he loved the school and will now be playing a different sport in college. But at the same time, the signs were there going in and I still wonder whether we could have found a better school overall.
Fast forward and the answer was: quite bad. It was toxic. After his freshman year, I suggested a transfer, but DS was still loving everything other than Sport Y and would not consider a transfer. He played all four years because Sport Y was in his blood, but every season brought a new challenge and became a matter of survival, not enjoyment.
It all worked out because he loved the school and will now be playing a different sport in college. But at the same time, the signs were there going in and I still wonder whether we could have found a better school overall.
Anonymous
01/28/2025 09:21
Subject: Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
Just to throw in a counter opinion - how much does this sport matter to your kid and motivate your kid? If it matters, can you find out more about the coach and the team etc - including if it's a coach that has been there for a while. One of my kids is so into and motivated by their sport, that it was as big a consideration for school as school... along with an academic match. Another of my kids has a really terrible coach and makes something that is something that would be a major factor of enjoying and engaging with others etc in HS into a negative experience (yes, a 'learning experience,' but for all the effort and energy and costs and all the rest for sports, also valid to think shouldn't they be doing something that is inspiring and enjoyable)