Anonymous
Post 01/28/2025 18:10     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?


FWIW, I would interpret this comment to be about higher level of parental involvement/expectations, not about lack of morals or lack of wealth.

It sounds like you want to raise your kids in the affluent UMC neighborhood, but you don't want to associate with anyone gauche enough to mention the benefits of raising kids in an affluent UMC neighborhood. I hope you move out of the UMC neighborhood as soon as possible so that you don't have to associate with those awful, gauche types anymore, it sounds like it is quite stressful for you!



+1
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2025 18:08     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.


I like the good all “your ignorance is astounding but not surprising.”
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2025 17:15     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
I think calm disagreement is better than silence because calm disagreement can't be misinterpreted as implicit approval.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2025 12:26     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Say nothing but don't agree with the statement. Silence is not agreement. You are better off not engaging. They will understand not to say it again. If they ask you to clarify or say something you can say something like, never thought of that before or I'm not sure what to say about that and change thr subject.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2025 12:21     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?


Was this a private conversation you weren't a part of?

The parent happy their kids all get to play together from their neighborhood is fairly typical.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 13:24     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.


When they say offensive things, ask them to repeat themselves. “What? I don’t understand.”

If they say it again, you reply the same way. Over and over until they get the hint.


They’ll think you’re weird and never speak to you again. Guess you win!


It's a win win, trust me. If these people are already racist or chauvinist, this don't already like me anyhow. So asking them to explain what they mean is ideal.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 13:12     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?


FWIW, I would interpret this comment to be about higher level of parental involvement/expectations, not about lack of morals or lack of wealth.

It sounds like you want to raise your kids in the affluent UMC neighborhood, but you don't want to associate with anyone gauche enough to mention the benefits of raising kids in an affluent UMC neighborhood. I hope you move out of the UMC neighborhood as soon as possible so that you don't have to associate with those awful, gauche types anymore, it sounds like it is quite stressful for you!

Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 00:23     Subject: Re:Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
You better be very careful OP. There’s a lot more acceptance now of chauvinistic, misogynistic and racist comments as just jokes, or at most locker room talk. It’s infuriating to very powerful people to see men chastised when they’re just blowing off steam.

Look at what happened to DEI and to the IGs. Don’t be them.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 15:11     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I usually like to go with a calm response like: "I actually prefer having people from different neighborhoods/communities," or "You might be surprised, but downtown is really nice," or "I tend to believe women when they say they got groped by a drunk man."


really? do you believe Tara Reid, the hill staffer who said that Joe Biden sexually assaulted her? The details of her accusation all can be verified and are true (time, place, etc.), in contrast to the looney who the Dems wheeled out to accuse Brett Kavanaugh. But people who preach that they "believe women" only seem to do so when it aligns with their political agenda.

So do you believe Tara Reid - yes or no?


I'm not familiar with her. I believe that some women lie about this and some women and the men they accuse have honest misunderstandings. So I don't believe all women all the time. I still believe most wome. I mostly believed the Clinton accusers. I am very disgusted that being accused of sexual harassment or assault has almost become a badge of honor in Trump world. I don't understand what Republican women are thinking.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 13:08     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I usually like to go with a calm response like: "I actually prefer having people from different neighborhoods/communities," or "You might be surprised, but downtown is really nice," or "I tend to believe women when they say they got groped by a drunk man."


really? do you believe Tara Reid, the hill staffer who said that Joe Biden sexually assaulted her? The details of her accusation all can be verified and are true (time, place, etc.), in contrast to the looney who the Dems wheeled out to accuse Brett Kavanaugh. But people who preach that they "believe women" only seem to do so when it aligns with their political agenda.

So do you believe Tara Reid - yes or no?


The same Tara Reid who defected to Russia when she was called to testify under oath? She’s still there!

Okay.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 11:13     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:I usually like to go with a calm response like: "I actually prefer having people from different neighborhoods/communities," or "You might be surprised, but downtown is really nice," or "I tend to believe women when they say they got groped by a drunk man."


really? do you believe Tara Reid, the hill staffer who said that Joe Biden sexually assaulted her? The details of her accusation all can be verified and are true (time, place, etc.), in contrast to the looney who the Dems wheeled out to accuse Brett Kavanaugh. But people who preach that they "believe women" only seem to do so when it aligns with their political agenda.

So do you believe Tara Reid - yes or no?
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 09:25     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.


When they say offensive things, ask them to repeat themselves. “What? I don’t understand.”

If they say it again, you reply the same way. Over and over until they get the hint.


They’ll think you’re weird and never speak to you again. Guess you win!
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 09:21     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
This is going to go down like a ton of bricks. I can’t stop laughing at the thought of OP trying this. Please report back and let us know how many people you lose from your life by acting like a judgmental intolerant ahole.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 09:18     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.


When they say offensive things, ask them to repeat themselves. “What? I don’t understand.”

If they say it again, you reply the same way. Over and over until they get the hint.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 09:14     Subject: Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments
Anonymous wrote:“What do you mean by that…?” Just keep asking open ended clarifying questions and watch their discomfort grow. You don’t need to argue with them or change their mind - you can either bring their biases / prejudices to their awareness to question them on their own or just see their true colors so you can decide whether you want to chat with them at all in the future


Yep and then the kid gets cuts from the team and OP wonders why. If OP is so uncomfortable she needs to move her daughter not ask "what do you mean?" all game long from the sidelines. They aren't her people and she won't change them. She will hurt her daughter socially. Move to the neighborhood where you can live our your values OP, don't be a hypocrite. Stop seeing your extended family.