You better start teaching your kid a man is not a plan

I don't think you should be encouraging your FIVE YEAR OLD to pick a life path where she's dependent on her romantic partner for her financial sustenance.

It's a completely valid choice for an adult to make when she's weighed all the options, but it's a weird thing for parents to encourage in their child.

I would tell her a man is not a plan. Adult women shouldn’t be anyone’s dependent unless they are incapacitated.

Anonymous wrote:There is a new social media trend on tradwives. Beautiful young women have traditional gender roles and stay home, cook healthy meals, raise their kids and have beautiful homes.

Yet another reason social media is toxic. I’d rather my daughter be a garbage collector than a SAHM.

There is a new social media trend on tradwives. Beautiful young women have traditional gender roles and stay home, cook healthy meals, raise their kids and have beautiful homes.

At 32 when I had my first and only child. That oxytocin hormone makes you attached to your baby. But I was in physician residency training. So I pushed through. 12 years later, I’m going down to 0.5 fte as we r financially comfortable. I want to spend time with my son before he s away to college.

Never wanted to be a stay at home mom when I was a girl. My mom was one and it didn’t turn out well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

Girls can decide they want to be a SAHM at any time, it's life that tends to have other ideas.

Only one woman I know who wanted to be a SAHM has gotten to do so, either because of money or because of divorce (and money.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

Lol no. Preface that I’m a working mom but staying at home is the path that nearly every woman a couple of generations ago chose and there’s never been an unhappier generation than ours. Working is not the key to happiness.

OP, you said you work from home. Couldn't it be possible that your kid thinks that's what a SAHM does? Works at/from home?

I'm 37 yrs old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Op - I think you know better than to take verbatim what a 5 yr old wants to do decades from now.

Are you trying to start another sahm debate?

I decided to be a SAHM at age 38 when I had my third child. When it was time to go back to work from maternity leave after my first, that was the first time I actually wanted to be a SAHM. I never wanted to be a SAHM until I actually had a baby.

My childhood friend wanted nothing more than to be a SAHM. She loved her boyfriends and husbands. She loved kids, loved homemaking and made it clear to everyone she wanted to be a SAHM. She is divorced and never had kids.

I would not read too much into your 5yo wanting to be a SAHM. She probably does see some moms around who don’t work and may think that is something she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Anonymous wrote:lol. My 12 year old says she just wants to marry a rich guy and take care of the kids and house.

Mine wants to marry a rich girl and play video games.

Anonymous wrote:A 5 yo’s comment is pretty meaningless. I wanted to clean houses at 5. I was a SAHM but I did also have career aspirations. When I was young, after my cleaner phase, I wanted to be an astronaut, a writer and a psychologist.

At five, my daughter wanted to own a pink ice cream truck and drive around to birthday parties and places where "sad old people live because ice cream would cheer them up." It was a laudable goal and I remember discussing all the pros and cons with her.
And now she's in her first year of college, ice cream dreams long abandoned except for a little fro-yo here and there.