Anonymous wrote:Sincere post, keep snark to a minimum please.
Kid is decent but inconsistent player. Sometimes comes out of a game thinking they played amazing, but they really really didn’t. I don’t care, except they are looking for validation from me that they played like some pro player, and I just can’t bring myself to say it. I am always positive, but won’t say yeah you were the best of the bunch, when they clearly were not.
What do you do in this kind of situation? Fib, be honest, or try to hedge? What is healthiest for the kid?

Just ask them if they had fun and let them know what they did in game that you liked.

What is healthiest for the kid is your support and honest enjoyment of their playing and effort.

Echo the question!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well. Coach doesn’t coach, part of the problem. No feedback at all. And this is high level team. Kid has very high college play hopes but no way will they get there playing like this. So again I always keep it positive but it’s a tough place to be. Examples: always safe short passes. Way more pass back than find a way up. Scared to make contact to win a 50 / 50 ball and don’t commit to win. Can send great long balls but doesn’t. Not vocal. Jogging not sprinting. Yet comes off field thinking they were brilliant. High school coach didn’t play them for these reasons. WWYD?

Age?

15

You might consider a personal trainer to reinforce the skills and mentality needed to play aggressively. My fact set is very similar to yours (a bit younger), and that's what we successfully did.

who did you hire?

This guy is a troll.

Anonymous wrote:Above is true. And mine has specifically asked and been told nothing useful, or even correct for that matter. It really stinks that you pay $3500 per year and don’t actually get coaching. You have to pay extra for that. Honestly I find the whole thing ridiculous but kid LOVES soccer.

Coaches are employees paid to do a job. Just like with all jobs, there are good ones and not so good ones. And especially at these mostly low end paying jobs that most coaches fall into, you aren't getting the very best, and there isn't a lot of motivation for them to go above and beyond. High school coaches are barely paid and it's usually a side gig for a teacher to make some extra money so we should tailor our expectations accordingly.

enjoy the ride progress sometimes come with maturity and that varies by kid. aggressiveness/grit might only come later to your kid.

Above is true. And mine has specifically asked and been told nothing useful, or even correct for that matter. It really stinks that you pay $3500 per year and don’t actually get coaching. You have to pay extra for that. Honestly I find the whole thing ridiculous but kid LOVES soccer.

Anonymous wrote:If the coach isn’t coaching but the team is hug level, I would have my child guest play or join practices with other teams and see how other coaches do. At 15, leave the coaching to the coaches.

Yeah, we've had 4 different coaches in 4 years. Some coaches don't do a lot of 1 on 1 development with the kids or provide actual feedback with a real status where a player is. They just stick with team training and general feedback/ general individual development. Most kids will not seek direct feedback from the coaches on their own, ever at any age without some encouragement from the parents.

If the coach isn’t coaching but the team is hug level, I would have my child guest play or join practices with other teams and see how other coaches do. At 15, leave the coaching to the coaches.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s time for you to realize your kid is just ok at soccer and not awesome. And that’s ok. Accept your kid for who they are not what you wish they could be.

Use whatever influence you have including money and social media to hype your kid and get him/her recruited to a top D1 program and pretend that he/she is really a great player.

To PP: plays the full game on club. Just none on school. And neither coach has provided any constructive feedback. I know enough about soccer to see it for myself but can’t say anything to kid. Not my place. So when they think they are playing like Pulisic, hard to say. Um…. No. I keep it positive but they need more to get their goals. Watching tape w private coach might be just the thing.

I was dilusional at that age about my talents as well… I got the message eventually and I turned out ok.

I’m not really fond of some of the responses so I will try to frame this in the best way possible. I would not worry so much about the specific in-game feedback. It can be overly judgmental.

I would focus on why he has accepted no playing time and ask questions like:

Do you enjoy your role in the team? If no.
What does your coach need from you in order to contribute more to the team? What can you specifically work on daily in order to contribute in the way you want to?

I would lay out a realistic path to where he wants to go. Every path is different but I would work with him to create benchmarks. If he does not meet those benchmarks, it will lead to self-discovery.

Hope this helps!

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the no snark as requested. Super helpful. You’re providing awesome advice, hope you feel really good about it

Don't worry about that poster, a known troll. Always talking about therapy or therapists when they're the one that needs it.