OP Your son needs a mental health evaluation by a psychiatrist. Seeing what that shows along with his ADHD, a decision on medication might be made. He is an adult and would need to understand his options. He is AA so he knows he can’t drink any longer and especially if taking needed meds, too.

You need to attend NAMI to be able to talk to other parents with teens with similar issues. He needs to be in a daily routine which he can sustain longterm and not just for three months when he goes before the judge.

A good lawyer is key to what his options will be in the future.

Intensive outpatient.
Impulsivity and drug/alcohol use all stem from
The ADHD.
Why is he unmedicated?

Anonymous wrote:My brother was really bad as an 18-19 year old and is now finishing up a PhD. He needs to grow up and become responsible on his own. Basically work for a while and support himself and decide how he wants his life to go.

Did he have ADHD!

HE NEEDS MEDS!!!

Hugs OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like military school might be an option?

He's an adult. And will not getting into West Point.

I think PP mean a reform school, not a service academy. But your point stands: he’s too old for a reform school. He should have been sent there years ago.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my stepdaughter has been in and out of jail. Honestly, jail was the best thing for her. She had deferred adjudication on SEVERAL drug related felonies (pled down to misdemeanors) and we were disappointed again and again that judges continued to be lenient even after she had reoffended writhing the year. Again and again!!! (She is white, voluptuous, and presents very sweet despite so many arrests. It was totally eye opening how biased the courts are toward well presenting white defendants, especially with male judges of all backgrounds. We saw it again and again.)

Finally, she got sent to Rikers after missing so many court dates and STILL not getting sentenced...she was only taken into custody after trying to go on vacation from a New York airport and having Port Authority police arrest her when her passport came up with so many bench warrants out against her.

Honestly, it was hell for her and we did not help legally at that point. Once she was extradited to another state, she had done a couple of really hard weeks. Still, a judge gave her ANOTHER cha ce and sentenced her to a state-funded rehab and it was the best thing for her...stricter and no frills, and way more effective than the more expansive rehabs we and our insurance had paid for in the past.

She STILL got off without more jail time but finally the rehab after Rikers stuck. She's been clean for 5 years now, and she hasn't reoffended. Most importantly, she is alive.

If a judge had punished her appropriately after her first couple of crimes, it might have saved her years and years of pain and mistakes. Jail was the rock bottom she needed. We are grateful it wasn't worse. She is a mom now, lives independently, has a job, and is okay-ish, though ADHD is still a huge challenge for her. Huge.

If he will go to rehab, try to find a place that specializes in dual diagnosis with ADHD. Good luck.

What on earth? Referring to your step daughter as "voluptuous"? You sound like a bitter step-monster.

OP, my stepdaughter has been in and out of jail. Honestly, jail was the best thing for her. She had deferred adjudication on SEVERAL drug related felonies (pled down to misdemeanors) and we were disappointed again and again that judges continued to be lenient even after she had reoffended writhing the year. Again and again!!! (She is white, voluptuous, and presents very sweet despite so many arrests. It was totally eye opening how biased the courts are toward well presenting white defendants, especially with male judges of all backgrounds. We saw it again and again.)

Finally, she got sent to Rikers after missing so many court dates and STILL not getting sentenced...she was only taken into custody after trying to go on vacation from a New York airport and having Port Authority police arrest her when her passport came up with so many bench warrants out against her.

Honestly, it was hell for her and we did not help legally at that point. Once she was extradited to another state, she had done a couple of really hard weeks. Still, a judge gave her ANOTHER cha ce and sentenced her to a state-funded rehab and it was the best thing for her...stricter and no frills, and way more effective than the more expansive rehabs we and our insurance had paid for in the past.

She STILL got off without more jail time but finally the rehab after Rikers stuck. She's been clean for 5 years now, and she hasn't reoffended. Most importantly, she is alive.

If a judge had punished her appropriately after her first couple of crimes, it might have saved her years and years of pain and mistakes. Jail was the rock bottom she needed. We are grateful it wasn't worse. She is a mom now, lives independently, has a job, and is okay-ish, though ADHD is still a huge challenge for her. Huge.

If he will go to rehab, try to find a place that specializes in dual diagnosis with ADHD. Good luck.