What activities does your family enjoy? Outdoors activities, sports, crafts, science, cooking?
For my kids with ADHD, renting a place that had easy access to outdoors activities and some hands on science or nature activities was always successful.

Keep it simple. A car trip no longer than 3 hours away. Stay at a suites/longer term stay hotel with kitchen.

It's a 3 hour flight with no time change. I highly recommend an all inclusive in the Cancun/ riveria maya area. No planning necessary, show up and go, tons of activities for everyone. Resorts can accommodate picky eaters and those with allergies. You're welcome.

Laconia, New Hampshire. Stay in a condo.

Anonymous wrote:Rent a beach house. Or go somewhere farther away. One thing that's nice is that as your kids get older you can rent an AIRBNB in Paris and leave them for the night and have a nice dinner out with your husband.

My point is, that things get easier once your kids are teens. So, it's really just a temporary situation that vacations will be so hard.

OP already said they find beaches boring

Finger Lakes are great, you can also rent an AirBnB in Pittsburgh or Richmond - plenty to do. And for the ADHD and anxiety - wouldn't their quality of life and the quality of your vacations get much better with medication?

I’d rent a house in the Finger Lakes in or near Ithaca. Lake activities, gorges for hiking and exploring, you can roam around the large pretty campus, there’s a town where you can hang out (so bookstore, movie theater, restaurants, etc), and you can make day trips.

Montreal! Pricing is always nice for aparthotels and hotels with kitchens. The scenery consists of touring the city. There’s no need to worry about beach weather, and you won’t have “a lot” of driving to other spots in the city to do.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly. I'd leave them all home and do a girls trip. Vacation is expensive and pto is precious to spend catering to inflexible people.
I'm taking my fam to Paris for spring break and we have 1 pickyish eater but she's 5 and I'm giving her as much grace as I can.

She'll do great in Paris. Lots of french fries and bread. And then make most meals at the AirBNB.

Rent a beach house. Or go somewhere farther away. One thing that's nice is that as your kids get older you can rent an AIRBNB in Paris and leave them for the night and have a nice dinner out with your husband.

My point is, that things get easier once your kids are teens. So, it's really just a temporary situation that vacations will be so hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do a cruise. They cater to picky eaters and there’s always things for people to do. No logistics for your dh.

But seriously, your family sounds incredibly inflexible! I’d do everything you can to make them more flexible and less rigid. Or do girls trips with your friends instead.

I wouldn't do a cruise. There's a high chance of someone in the family getting some stomach bug, which would make things even less relaxed.

plus no kitchen

You don't have to go on vacation. Just stay home and do a staycation and relax.

Silver Bay YMCA on Lake George in Adirondacks (similar to Lake Champlain and Deer Lake suggestions)

Look at the Hague Motel cottages or other places near Hague, NY on Lake George

From Lake George, daytrip to Lake George Village, Ticonderoga, Vermont

Bar Harbor Maine/Acadia NP
Diver Ed cruise
Whalewatching boat
Bar at low tide

Honestly. I'd leave them all home and do a girls trip. Vacation is expensive and pto is precious to spend catering to inflexible people.
I'm taking my fam to Paris for spring break and we have 1 pickyish eater but she's 5 and I'm giving her as much grace as I can.

How about an airbnb in/near Philadelphia? Do one activity a day and plan on lots of down/screen time in the afternoon and then for dinner order in, go out, or make a fun/easy family dinner (eg, make your own pizza). You can do the science museum in Philly, a family ghost-walking tour, walk by the Liberty Bell, etc. Then head to the burbs for the aquarium in NJ and maybe go to Six Flags/Great Adventure if they are ready for a larger amusement park.