OP people are giving you very different advice re: being in touch with people in a natural, organic way, and then going to a conference / coffee / bar and ?? doing what exactly? A dumpy middle aged woman sitting alone (I am one) will not have much success "networking".

People on here suggesting that approach obviously don't know what that feels like.

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Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

+1. This is what I do. It's about being interested in people and paying attention. It's not about being transactional.

how much time do you devote to this? is it part of your jobs like client relations?

It's not formally part of my job, but sometimes it winds up overlapping with it.

I spend about 10 hours a week on average on professional-adjacent activities like writing, preparing talks or speaking, volunteer/leadership roles, and just talking to or emailing people.

So about 50 hour work weeks, I assumed with $500k income your spouse SAH?

I'm not that that poster. My spouse works full-time. I've had jobs where I was working 50 hours a week just for that job, and this is easier because I have flexibility in when I do my other activities.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

+1. This is what I do. It's about being interested in people and paying attention. It's not about being transactional.

how much time do you devote to this? is it part of your jobs like client relations?

It's not formally part of my job, but sometimes it winds up overlapping with it.

I spend about 10 hours a week on average on professional-adjacent activities like writing, preparing talks or speaking, volunteer/leadership roles, and just talking to or emailing people.

So about 50 hour work weeks, I assumed with $500k income your spouse SAH?

Anonymous wrote:Networking is stupid. What does it even mean?

If you have to ask what something means, it might be premature to declare that it's stupid.

Networking is stupid. What does it even mean?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

+1. This is what I do. It's about being interested in people and paying attention. It's not about being transactional.

how much time do you devote to this? is it part of your jobs like client relations?

It's not formally part of my job, but sometimes it winds up overlapping with it.

I spend about 10 hours a week on average on professional-adjacent activities like writing, preparing talks or speaking, volunteer/leadership roles, and just talking to or emailing people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

+1. This is what I do. It's about being interested in people and paying attention. It's not about being transactional.

how much time do you devote to this? is it part of your jobs like client relations?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

That's why I'm posting, I am inept at networking. I've never been in a job where I interface with many people, and as a working parent the only people I see are other parents -- and around where we live everyone is lawyers more or less -- no one has any connection to my industry at all.

I guess I was confused about the recommendation, I thought PP was recommending meeting someone and just sending them articles I think they may appreciate -- which feels very hard-sell type behavior. I do send interesting articles to former colleagues and college friends, but honestly like i said I have very few former colleagues because people just don't leave, and most of my college friends did not go into my industry at all. I definitely follow up with folks about their family and such, like I said I'm generally very personable -- perhaps too much to be honest.

So you allude to the conference -- which is the genesis of my OP: how to get to said conference. It seems like writing a paper and getting blessing from mgmt is my best bet, so I'll work on a survey paper. I often do try connect other people with people that I know -- I had a neighbors kid who I referred to a parent friend for a marketing job in fact, and I do it with no expectation of a "transaction" -- I mean I'm a scientist, transactional is kind of the antithesis to what I do and I'm not in it "for the money". But no one has ever really done something like that for me -- so I guess karma is failing me. Part of it is I don' t have much to offer except maybe a connection to someone I know -- I can't help you get hired or send business your way.

I am panicked as I was planning to work in my niche until retirement, I was never going to be work but i believed in my mission and enjoyed the work. Now I'm scrambling in middle age to suddenly figure out corporate culture when I've never had much success there. I'm a pretty forgettable looking person, I suspect I lack presence so people don't really think of me for roles, no matter how friendly I am; just trying to have some introspection on why things haven't worked for me despite doing some of the things suggested here.

I definitely meet up with people for coffee, and its a great fun, but it has never led to something even close to leading to a job or opportunity. Like I said, I think my work is too niche and I don't have any social circles with that overlap and that's a tragic flaw. Like if you are a lawyer DC is the place to be, or in tech you need to be in Silicon Valley, etc. I'm in a niche field and in the wrong geographic locale for serendipity to come to the rescue.

So I'm trying to be proactive, and at least get myself out to some conferences and see what happens, but not thrilled to drop $700 or whatever for the chance. Not sure how I feel with stalking coffee shops at conferences -- without the obvious badge, I'll just be a rando striking up conversations with attendees like some stalker?! How in the world do you finesse that!?

also, most of the time you know 70-80% of the people attending a conference in your field. The rest is what matters. Depending on the field, a lot of folks also use conferences for sleeping around and it is very common.

If its at hotel look at schedule for breakout sessions and land out tables near lobby coffee bar, hang out a bar after evening events end. Grab breakfast about an hour before morning sessions start.

Find an association/industry event associated with but not officially part of the conference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

There’s a reason why you’re stuck in fed, and I made 500k last year, at a job I networked into. If you’re just going to negative Nancy everything, we can’t help you.

Okay? I was very happy as Fed, I love my agencies mission and make the world a better place. But politics have decided that the work I do is not valuable, so now I'm trying to pivot. I explained the limitations of my current situation.

Did you really email people random articles to get your job? I'm guessing it's different interactions than that...

You sound inept at networking tbh.
Yes, I have sent articles.. not random ones, specific ones, to colleagues who I know would appreciate and like them because we happened to be talking about AI two months ago
To others I sent Hey, How’s your youngest doing in college
To others I sent, Hey, there’s someone I met at a conference, young graduate, looking to break into marketing, can i point them to you
To others I sent, it was great meeting you, let’s do coffee soon, I want to hear more about your new gig

+1. This is what I do. It's about being interested in people and paying attention. It's not about being transactional.

OP, what kind of lab do you work in? If it has any relation to healthcare, look into attending an IHI conference. It’s a massive conference that brings together people from all aspects of healthcare (pharma, lab researchers, quality control experts, etc…). Its main focus is improving quality in healthcare around the world.


https://www.ihi.org/education/conferences

I’d start with LinkedIn and alumni events - things that are free. Then see if events are actually interesting and there are people you want to meet there before you sign up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key to networking is to be a valuable resource to someone else. Not to land a job. Change your frame of reference OP. Reach out, hey i thought of you when i read this, here’s the link, etc etc. It is not a personality trait. It’s an intention. A discipline.

I am very personable, always talking to people I meet about what they do and have a genuine curiosity about peoples work.

i have always been someone trying to connect people who may find it helpful to each other, to give people what advice i can. but as a fed employee its not like i can direct business or refer people to jobs, so i'm not "valuable" to people in that way. further, by nature of where i live, I NEVER run into someone in my line of work except at my office or a conference -- and like i said my office is very niche and people rarely leave to other jobs.

sending random people i've met links to an article i read? that is so gauche. maybe if we concretely talked about something it was a resource, but the whole "i saw this and thought of you" is pretty https://x.com/craponlinkedin?lang=en ...

but the long and short of it, is that no one is paying for themselves to go to conferences..

NP. OP you’re kind of combative for someone seeking help. I’m assuming it’s anger masking your depression.

Srsly, putting down a recommendation someone made to try to help you by calling it gauche? Get out of your head and stop being a nasty piece of work. You’re probably working through the stages of grief

I’m a fed. I went to a conference I paid for myself. I networked and met people but I did not get a job from it. I got a job from applying to a vacancy, to which I’d already applied before I even attended the conference. No one from the agency that hired me even attended the conference.

You do to a conference to network, ie meet people and build relationships. Sounds like you want to go to a job fair.

Anonymous wrote:I hear DOGE is hiring

You mean firing