Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:50
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Take a sick day! That’s what they’re for—you’re actually sick. Take a day off. No need to be a martyr. My mom did this forever and it didn’t teach me how to take care of myself, I had to figure that out. Be a good role model and show your kids that when you don’t feel well you take time to rest and recuperate.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:50
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.
This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.
Agreed. Time for DH to tap in. Is he home?
OP - he is helping when he isn't on calls. But he typically has calls off and on all day starting at 8:30am until around 6pm. He has been helping in the evenings when he isn't working. But during the work hours he is working pretty much non-stop while I take care of the kids because there is no school.
So he doesn’t get PTO? Never takes doctor appointments? He can take breaks from work just is choosing not to. Even just 3 hours midday would be amazing.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:49
Subject: Re:No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Op - yes I understand all the criticism being hurled at me.
I am sick and one of my kids is sick. It’s hard to find anyone who wants to come into a house with the flu. So we are pretty much sequestered to ourselves.
We are just waiting for the rest of us to come down with the flu as well. It usually comes in waves in our house. One goes and then we all topple like dominions.
Your husband isn't sick and works from home. Why can't he do laundry? Why can't he order food? Why can't he walk the dog or pay a kid to walk the dog?
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:47
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Ugh flu sucks. But it also means you shouldn't be going sledding. Or worrying about laundry. Or working.
Take a sick day, stay in bed. DH can take the healthy kid out for a few hours then put on a movie.
You seem like a martyr without problem solving skills. No one expects life to be perfect. Just let a few things drop, and pick them up again when kids are in school and youre healthy.
Take a sick day, stay in bed. DH can take the healthy kid out for a few hours then put on a movie.
You seem like a martyr without problem solving skills. No one expects life to be perfect. Just let a few things drop, and pick them up again when kids are in school and youre healthy.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:46
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Sorry but you need to call your H on his BS.
He can take the time off - that’s what leave is for. If he’s worried about getting fired there’s a much deeper issue with his job that needs to be addressed.
And even if he does work 8:30-6, what exactly is he doing the rest of the day? He can get up at 530am to start laundry, walk the dog, make breakfast, pack lunches the kids can grab themselves. From 6pm-9pm he can finish laundry, make dinner, walk the dog, do the dishes from the day.
If he’s sleeping in and expecting a clean house when he gets off work that’s a major problem.
He can take the time off - that’s what leave is for. If he’s worried about getting fired there’s a much deeper issue with his job that needs to be addressed.
And even if he does work 8:30-6, what exactly is he doing the rest of the day? He can get up at 530am to start laundry, walk the dog, make breakfast, pack lunches the kids can grab themselves. From 6pm-9pm he can finish laundry, make dinner, walk the dog, do the dishes from the day.
If he’s sleeping in and expecting a clean house when he gets off work that’s a major problem.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:42
Subject: Re:No rest for the weary moms
Op - yes I understand all the criticism being hurled at me.
I am sick and one of my kids is sick. It’s hard to find anyone who wants to come into a house with the flu. So we are pretty much sequestered to ourselves.
We are just waiting for the rest of us to come down with the flu as well. It usually comes in waves in our house. One goes and then we all topple like dominions.
I am sick and one of my kids is sick. It’s hard to find anyone who wants to come into a house with the flu. So we are pretty much sequestered to ourselves.
We are just waiting for the rest of us to come down with the flu as well. It usually comes in waves in our house. One goes and then we all topple like dominions.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:37
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of bored high schoolers on snow days - have a few on speed dial to come for an afternoon or an entire day.
Great idea.[/quote
Same thing with dog walking. No reason why OP can't hire someone to do that.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:37
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of bored high schoolers on snow days - have a few on speed dial to come for an afternoon or an entire day.
Seriously. I have the youngest kids of all my friends and at least four parents reached out over the last few days offering to watch my kids during parts of the snow day
Sorry, I mean they offered their pre-teens/ teens to babysit
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:36
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Shouldn't the 4 be back in school? Most daycares and preschools are back to being open.
You can pay someone to watch the little one and you can definitely hire someone to walk the dog. The older kids should be fine with just a movie--snow days are unusual, just let them have screen time. Order ready to eat food on doordash or ubereats or instacart.
Your DH can step up and do the laundry. Even if he is "on calls all day" he can easily throw in a load while he is on calls and fold laundry during 10 minute breaks between calls. Or he can fold it at night.
You can pay someone to watch the little one and you can definitely hire someone to walk the dog. The older kids should be fine with just a movie--snow days are unusual, just let them have screen time. Order ready to eat food on doordash or ubereats or instacart.
Your DH can step up and do the laundry. Even if he is "on calls all day" he can easily throw in a load while he is on calls and fold laundry during 10 minute breaks between calls. Or he can fold it at night.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:36
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Lots of bored high schoolers on snow days - have a few on speed dial to come for an afternoon or an entire day.
Seriously. I have the youngest kids of all my friends and at least four parents reached out over the last few days offering to watch my kids during parts of the snow day
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:29
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.
This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.
Agreed. Time for DH to tap in. Is he home?
OP - he is helping when he isn't on calls. But he typically has calls off and on all day starting at 8:30am until around 6pm. He has been helping in the evenings when he isn't working. But during the work hours he is working pretty much non-stop while I take care of the kids because there is no school.
But if you both work, why is it your job to deal with the kids? Why are you not coming up with a plan to split equally? Eg for the past 3 days, my husband has had the kids in the morning and I’ve done lunch and afternoon. That means he took them sledding and shunted his work to afternoon or missed it because he had kids to look after. Then in pm, same with me.
Also, no shame in putting on a movie. My kids spent 3 or 4 hours outside yesterday and then had a movie. Everyone was happy.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:28
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Lots of bored high schoolers on snow days - have a few on speed dial to come for an afternoon or an entire day.
Great idea.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:26
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
You need another set of hands. HS neighbor to take the kids sledding etc. We traded childcare with some neighbors with same age kids (we became friends at the bus stop). They took our two kids (same ages as yours) for half a day and brought them all to our house after lunch. Each set of adults gets 4 hrs to work etc and the other family takes care of 4 kids. At those ages it's doable and more fun for the kids and we have had less fighting then if it was just our two kids. We have done this for 3 days with several neighbors.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:22
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?
OP - kids are between 4-9 years old.
Then the older ones should be capable of making you tea, heating up soup for you, and taking the 4 yr old outside to play and entertains them inside. They need to level up.
And then half of DCUM would be judging OP for using her 9 year old as a parent for the 4 year old. I mean...the thread title is totally on point. OP comes here for some encouragement and real suggestions and gets told that she's failed because she hasn't taught a 9 year old to be mini-mom.
Anonymous
01/09/2025 09:20
Subject: No rest for the weary moms
Lots of bored high schoolers on snow days - have a few on speed dial to come for an afternoon or an entire day.