Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

What bad thing turned you into the type of person who logs onto parenting websites just to browbeat parents asking for advice? Have you considered treating it with therapy rather than lashing out?

Where did I browbeat OP? I merely pointed out that if her DS got a D in MP1, that she should have been on alert and ensured she was monitoring the situation long before three weeks with MP2 left.

What bad thing happened to you that you are this allergic to common sense and accountability and that you equate logical questions with "browbeating" and "lashing out"? You need thicker skin. I suggest therapy. It seems like you have an avoidant personality.

Not all teachers put in the grades in a timely manner. Ours don't and it can be weeks before things are graded. We monitor but we miss things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if anyone else has faced this and was able to successfully dig their kid out.

My school-hating child has everything he needs to graduate, except for one required class. He got a D last quarter in it and will likely fail this quarter. So that means he's done for the year, doesn't it? Is there anything else we can do to try to save this? Any way to double up in the spring, maybe?

My concern is he has school avoidance issues already, and if he knows he's killed his ability to graduate in May, he will just quit.

The teacher, understandably, doesn't want to help. This is 100% on my kid. The counselor doesn't seem concerned.

The counselor should be presenting different options to earn that credit. If they are not, and are not concerned, reach out to the RT for counseling.

I will reach out again this week. I first reached out several weeks ago. It was a lot earlier in the quarter. What is the RT?

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if anyone else has faced this and was able to successfully dig their kid out.

My school-hating child has everything he needs to graduate, except for one required class. He got a D last quarter in it and will likely fail this quarter. So that means he's done for the year, doesn't it? Is there anything else we can do to try to save this? Any way to double up in the spring, maybe?

My concern is he has school avoidance issues already, and if he knows he's killed his ability to graduate in May, he will just quit.

The teacher, understandably, doesn't want to help. This is 100% on my kid. The counselor doesn't seem concerned.

The counselor should be presenting different options to earn that credit. If they are not, and are not concerned, reach out to the RT for counseling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

I agree with this! He is still not fully developed and he will remember and appreciate your support. He will mature and you need to help him now.
I personally matured tremendously from age 17/18 to 19/20 without sever consequences from my parents. He is going through a very difficult period but all is not lost so help him get to the other side. It will happen.

Anonymous wrote:How did he fail without you knowing? If he has documented school avoidance issues, shouldn't he be on an IEP or 504 Plan, which would mean you'd be very involved in all of his school actions?

Also, what's the plan for him post-graduation? I hope it's not college, cause he's clearly not interested or invested if he's failing high school.

Oh, you sweet summer child. A 504 gets you a once yearly meeting with a counselor who has never met your kid and one of his 7 teachers for 10 minutes, and a piece of paper that no teacher ever reads. It does not get you “very involved in all of his school activities” nor does it in any way solve the problem of a kid who won’t do the work for a class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

What bad thing turned you into the type of person who logs onto parenting websites just to browbeat parents asking for advice? Have you considered treating it with therapy rather than lashing out?

Where did I browbeat OP? I merely pointed out that if her DS got a D in MP1, that she should have been on alert and ensured she was monitoring the situation long before three weeks with MP2 left.

What bad thing happened to you that you are this allergic to common sense and accountability and that you equate logical questions with "browbeating" and "lashing out"? You need thicker skin. I suggest therapy. It seems like you have an avoidant personality.

I agree with the pp. You seem hell bent on disallowing a child to need helpmfrom the adults around them. Your parenting is something from the early 1800s

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

School refusal *should* be an urgent call to action for the adults in the room that something is wrong. Sounds like they've failed this student so far.

I would not shift all of the blame to the adults in this situation: Again, that is infantilizing the adolescent here who definitely has agency and accountability in the situation as well.

But I agree, the student displayed they were at-risk the last marking period so OP should not be three weeks out from the end of MP2 worrying and scrambling about how to dig her son out of failing a class he clearly showed he was on trajectory to fail last marking period.

Teenagers don't have the ability to diagnose their problems. Wild take.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did he fail without you knowing? If he has documented school avoidance issues, shouldn't he be on an IEP or 504 Plan, which would mean you'd be very involved in all of his school actions?

Also, what's the plan for him post-graduation? I hope it's not college, cause he's clearly not interested or invested if he's failing high school.

Slow down. I'm not OP, but my kid was failing AP Calc BC in senior year (he should never have picked that class, but by the time we realized it, it was too late to drop it). He'd taken a dozen AP classes and had straight As, except with an E in math. He clawed his way back up to a D, which was not a failing grade. He's now in a top 10 university program.

The reason the counselor isn't concerned is that D is not a failing grade. But it's getting close, so maybe hire a tutor or something.

So many talented kids who don’t get to go to Top 10 schools… sad.

It's only 1st semester.
You need to figure out quickly if this is something you can sruble through and fall across the finish line in June and then regroup over the summer before planning college/work, or if you need to hit the pause button now, make an agreement for legally mandated attendance but an intent to retake courses next year for grade improvement, or officially switch to home school / OPTG whatever to pass the requirements in the spring.

But it starts with really, really talking to your kid about what's going on what are the options.

Is he panicking about graduation and college and career? Has it been bad for years but the fake facade finally collapsed? Has he gotten into a bad friend group, drugs, or online addiction?
Figure out what's at the root of this, and help your kid get perspective to a make a plan to get to a better place by a year from now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

What bad thing turned you into the type of person who logs onto parenting websites just to browbeat parents asking for advice? Have you considered treating it with therapy rather than lashing out?

Where did I browbeat OP? I merely pointed out that if her DS got a D in MP1, that she should have been on alert and ensured she was monitoring the situation long before three weeks with MP2 left.

What bad thing happened to you that you are this allergic to common sense and accountability and that you equate logical questions with "browbeating" and "lashing out"? You need thicker skin. I suggest therapy. It seems like you have an avoidant personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

What bad thing turned you into the type of person who logs onto parenting websites just to browbeat parents asking for advice? Have you considered treating it with therapy rather than lashing out?

This is very common. They won't let him fail, even if it means that he comes in for the ten days or so between the last senior day, and the last day of school for the rest of the school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

School refusal *should* be an urgent call to action for the adults in the room that something is wrong. Sounds like they've failed this student so far.

I would not shift all of the blame to the adults in this situation: Again, that is infantilizing the adolescent here who definitely has agency and accountability in the situation as well.

But I agree, the student displayed they were at-risk the last marking period so OP should not be three weeks out from the end of MP2 worrying and scrambling about how to dig her son out of failing a class he clearly showed he was on trajectory to fail last marking period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.

School refusal *should* be an urgent call to action for the adults in the room that something is wrong. Sounds like they've failed this student so far.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I will ask the counselor.

He has a 3.6 GPA but just stopped doing work this year. He doesn't have an IEP or 504. He doesn't need a tutor; now that he's actually doing the work, he's getting decent grades. I just think it's too late for this quarter.

We rent and our lease is up in June. I don't think we will stay in the county and I wasn't sure whether summer school would work. I didn't know about OPTG - I will ask about that.

Thank you.

If he just stopped doing work, then you should remove and erase all privileges. You’re the parent, crack down.

+1

Also, please reconsider your parenting practices. The question should not be how do “I dig my kid out.” Your kid dug this hole. He will either dig himself out or learn a very hard (and valuable) lesson that people who don’t work for something don’t get rewarded. It’s almost impossible (unless it’s like a AP class or something) for kids to fail in MCPS if they are doing the bare minimum. I’m pretty sure I would get fired if I had “work avoidance.” Same thing for school. Stop trying to save your kid. They are almost an adult and need to face the music.

Spoken by someone who has not been there and done that. The kids needs saving until they get into college, that's the hard truth these days. I saved my kid so many times in high school - he had a really rough 4 years of it. Once he got into college, it was much smoother sailing and I didn't have to lift a finger. He'd matured and he wasn't as stressed out and sleep deprived, since he could roll out of bed and go to 9 am classes (instead of waking up at 6 and taking a long bus to school); and most of the coursework was in his desired major, topics he actually wanted to learn about.

OP, do your best for your kid. High school is hard, and he deserves the help. His brain is not mature yet. He will be able to save himself in the future, and he will remember kindly all the support you gave him.

Infantilizing young adults is not helping them. He is old enough to know right from wrong. He’s doing what he thinks he can get away with. Parents have to make him feel the consequences of his choices. Not shield him from them.

Also, I have no idea what you’re talking about with the college scenario you sketched out.

Many students have to deal with 8 am classes and most college students have to do some form of general Ed courses their freshmen and sophomore years. They don’t get to take classes focused on their major until junior year.

The current generation of kids in high school lived through some of the worst decisions adults in their lives could have made, especially covid- but not limited to covid. I don't see how helping a kid make it through graduation is infantilizing them. Adults support their partners to make it through hard times. I can't imagine allowing a struggling child to fail is anything less than caveman-think.

"Supporting your kid" means ensuring they understand the gravity and severity of the consequence of their choices and holding them accountable to making different ones. I didn't say ignore the situation. But I am saying don't clean up their mess for them.