Anonymous wrote:Op here

It was so unbearable to watch without being able to do anything, its best she left when she did.

Thank you all for your support.

My sincere condolences on your loss.

I hope you soon get to a place where these last difficult days will be a distant memory, and will be replaced with all the good memories of your mom.

Op here

It was so unbearable to watch without being able to do anything, its best she left when she did.

Thank you all for your support.

Anonymous wrote:Op here
She passed away yesterday 8 days without food/water with/ without IV.

So Sorry op.

Anonymous wrote:Op here
She passed away yesterday 8 days without food/water with/ without IV.

I’m sorry. She is at peace.

I watched my mom, dad and husband go through this and it’s hard. Hugs!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure the nurse knows that mom wouldn't want to be in this state and that you will be so relieved if it's over (if all of this is true)

Is this code? Because I want to convey this code when I am in this state. Planning ahead. Which more people should do.

Yes. The nurse killed my dad. I’ve talked about it before here.

In our case, it was not what we wanted. But that is basically what morphine does but no one wants to admit it because then it might be made illegal.

DP

You wanted your dad to be in pain?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure the nurse knows that mom wouldn't want to be in this state and that you will be so relieved if it's over (if all of this is true)

Is this code? Because I want to convey this code when I am in this state. Planning ahead. Which more people should do.

Yes. I've talked to nurses who say some nurses will dial up the meds quicker.

Not with morphine. Hospice measured DH’s amount every visit and I had to keep a log. It was so tempting though.

My mom lasted 14 days.

Anonymous wrote:Op here
She passed away yesterday 8 days without food/water with/ without IV.

I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that your mother's suffering is over.

Op here
She passed away yesterday 8 days without food/water with/ without IV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure the nurse knows that mom wouldn't want to be in this state and that you will be so relieved if it's over (if all of this is true)

Is this code? Because I want to convey this code when I am in this state. Planning ahead. Which more people should do.

Yes. The nurse killed my dad. I’ve talked about it before here.

In our case, it was not what we wanted. But that is basically what morphine does but no one wants to admit it because then it might be made illegal.

DP

I’ve read your posts before. This is a sincere question- what DID you want? Did you want a few more days with your dad conscious and aware of you?

I could understand that. Or if you felt your dad wasn’t really gonna die, and might recover.

In general, dying is not something I want to prolong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom lasted 11 days in hospice without water. Age 87.

Sorry about your mom.

Thank you for the info on days.

My Dad lasted 8 days. It was such a hard time. Sending your family strength!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom lasted 11 days in hospice without water. Age 87.

Sorry about your mom.

Thank you for the info on days.

You are welcome. Mom was well hydrated prior to moving to physical hospice which I think is why she lasted so long.
When I visited on the 11th day it was the first time I did not think she would make it through the night as she looked grayish.
Prior to leaving her I bent down to her and told her "We are proud of you." I left and got a phone call from the RN about 4 minutes later that she had passed. I had one of her private duty caregivers with her. Caregiver said she took a breath and then stopped breathing. It was very easy.

Thinking of you during this time.

Anonymous wrote:My mom went 18 days.

Hospice staff told us she might have had something on her mind which was unresolved. We figured it was concern about my brother who was not exactly self-sufficient at that point.

They suggested he spend some time alone with her and let her know that he was "going to be alright" and she need not worry about him.

She died the next day.

Same situation here. Son who hadn't made it to town was put on speaker phone and she let go 6 hours later.

Another person's daughter got into town and the person died that night.

OP, it really depends. My mom just died and she lasted 5 days after stopping intake.

My mom went 18 days.

Hospice staff told us she might have had something on her mind which was unresolved. We figured it was concern about my brother who was not exactly self-sufficient at that point.

They suggested he spend some time alone with her and let her know that he was "going to be alright" and she need not worry about him.

She died the next day.

In a different state but home hospice left us with a big thing of oral morphine and no accounting. I think we sped things up TBH.