I am from a non-drinking family and my parents would absolutely want a guest to fill comfortable and if that includes alcohol so be it. Some of my other relatives feel differently. Your initial posts suggests the GF’s parents are more like mine.

I do think it’s weird to not be able to abstain for one meal, but again, I grew up with no alcohol being the norm so none of the reasons people say they “need” resonate with me.

Curious though - why are you polling stranger and not asking your son his thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That this is even a concern for you suggests that alcohol is playing too large a role in your life.

It's NYE

And?

Look teetotaler, it's not really for you to say who can and can't drink. A gracious host may offer something to their guests that they don't prefer because it's polite and it's also NYE. The hosts own kids drink so it's not like they are super up tight about it, just seems like a personal choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That this is even a concern for you suggests that alcohol is playing too large a role in your life.

It's NYE

And?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and its strange to me you can't go one night without it...hhhmmm

It's New Year's Eve though. It's traditional to have a drink that night. I'm the PP who doesn't drink but it wouldn't bother me if someone brought it to my home. Much better than expecting me to provide it because I wouldn't know what to get. I'm not abstaining due to health reasons or sobriety. I just don't care for it. Since these people don't care if their adult child drinks, I assume they are the same way, but since it is so fraught, maybe OP should check with their DC. I feel like with everyone I know it would be absolutely fine.

Not for everyone! Consider that.

I do think understanding their 'why' for not drinking is important.

DH doesn't drink (I do and adult children do) but it is because he doesn't like the taste/want the calories from alcohol. We have alcohol in our house and he is fine with that. But if the family has a history of substance abuse and/or religious reasons, I would not.

Anonymous wrote:Bring champagne?

That is … alcohol? Surely OP can go ONE night without.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a non-drinker it wouldn’t bother me and friends do bring bottles of wine and they open it and drink it when they come over. Honestly makes it easier for me because I rarely have alcohol on hand.

Same here. I hosted Thanksgiving and encouraged others to bring alcohol they wanted because they would choose it best. Doesn’t bother me at all.

But OP's hosts are not encouraging it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a non-drinker it wouldn’t bother me and friends do bring bottles of wine and they open it and drink it when they come over. Honestly makes it easier for me because I rarely have alcohol on hand.

Same here. I hosted Thanksgiving and encouraged others to bring alcohol they wanted because they would choose it best. Doesn’t bother me at all.

That's my approach too. I don't drink but it's because I get migraines - I don't mind if other people drink. I usually try to have wine on hand for people but I'd like if people brought their own drink in case I wasn't going to have what they like.

Just find out why they don't drink. If it's for moral reasons or because they're in recovery, then no don't bring. If it's because they just aren't drinkers but they don't care if other people have wine, then it's fine.

I would presume the adult kids will have this covered. But this seems like an odd time to meet everyone for the first time when they aren't even engaged.

Bring champagne?

I’m a non drinker and also happy to have friends bring wine that we (I.e., they) have with dinner. That said, if you don’t know them and don’t know why they don’t drink, I would ask myself just how necessary my alcohol is to the evening. What if they are recovering alcoholics? Will you really feel good ringing in the new year with your drink in front of them?
I get alcohol is traditional on NYE, but you are experiencing something new by spending the evening with them, and that new experience extends to how they and you celebrate. You might try to just go with it.

Anonymous wrote:That this is even a concern for you suggests that alcohol is playing too large a role in your life.

It's NYE

Anonymous wrote:That this is even a concern for you suggests that alcohol is playing too large a role in your life.

omg give me a break

Anonymous wrote:That this is even a concern for you suggests that alcohol is playing too large a role in your life.

Correct.

Have you met these people before? I can’t imagine staying with my kid’s girlfriend’s parent. Seems awkward. And, no, I wouldn’t bring alcohol knowing their preference.