Anonymous wrote:We never made it easy for our kids, but we did provide a safety net while others provided a hammock. College age kids and young adults need to learn to stand on their own two feet and not be subsidized by their parents. The sooner you learn to be financially independent the sooner you get on your own path to financial success.

Or the sooner you get hungry, live in unsafe conditions, learn nobody has your back and you hustle in ways that are not necessarily the best for long term career goals. BTDT.

We never made it easy for our kids, but we did provide a safety net while others provided a hammock. College age kids and young adults need to learn to stand on their own two feet and not be subsidized by their parents. The sooner you learn to be financially independent the sooner you get on your own path to financial success.

My DS is very frugal, even more than I am. He makes fun of the (mostly) girls at his college who get Starbucks every day. It’s an expensive habit that I wouldn’t fund.

I pay for his tuition, room/board, and that’s it. He works in the summer and does side gigs on weekends all year so he chooses what is worthy to spend his own money on.

We went on a day trip to NYC and I bought him a new pair of sneakers ($65). That’s it.

We never gave our three children an allowance in college though I'm sure my husband would slip them small amounts once in a while. They had summer jobs and they had saved grandparent gifts over the years. They all got to be pretty frugal and smart about money and that has carried over as married parents. We didn't make it easy for them but they knew we'd always be there for them if needed. They were pretty much on their own once they graduated though we did give them our used cars. Now we are very generous with them because we know they just invest it and don't use it to support their lifestyles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for our son's private university and when he got into the habit of going to the Whole Foods across the street to eat there instead of eating on his mandatory meal plan... we told him that was a waste of money, and to stick to the dining halls (which are pretty decent). He hardly ever spends any money, because he doesn't go out much and never even thinks about going shopping for clothes. I still have to push him to replace his worn things. So maybe he spends $50 a month, annualized.

Some meal plans serve unhealthy food or just plain gross food. Why would you stop your son from eating better? $50/month is very little

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay for our son's private university and when he got into the habit of going to the Whole Foods across the street to eat there instead of eating on his mandatory meal plan... we told him that was a waste of money, and to stick to the dining halls (which are pretty decent). He hardly ever spends any money, because he doesn't go out much and never even thinks about going shopping for clothes. I still have to push him to replace his worn things. So maybe he spends $50 a month, annualized.

Some meal plans serve unhealthy food or just plain gross food. Why would you stop your son from eating better? $50/month is very little

If the dining options in the meal plan are that bad, transfer to a school with better dining options. There are so many out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for tuition and fees, room and board, transportation, books/school supplies, basic clothes and coats. We stocked them with toiletries and cleaning supplies at the start of the school year. They were on their own for spending money after that. No idea what they spent, but from what I can tell they are both fairly frugal (apples falling near trees or something like that).

+1 We did the same, they never had an allowance. Their frugalness continues ten years later.

Yeah, either your kids had little in the way of social life, or more likely- their friends subsidized pizza, beers, ubers and cover fees. We’ve had to rein in our daughter’s generosity on our dime. I don’t mind if a friend’s family has genuinely strained finances…

Anonymous wrote:We paid for tuition and fees, room and board, transportation, books/school supplies, basic clothes and coats. We stocked them with toiletries and cleaning supplies at the start of the school year. They were on their own for spending money after that. No idea what they spent, but from what I can tell they are both fairly frugal (apples falling near trees or something like that).

+1 We did the same, they never had an allowance. Their frugalness continues ten years later.

Anonymous wrote:Don't think $175 is that bad.

I agree, so much so that I am doubtful that is the true number. Ubers, bars, eating out, clothing, doordash, pitching in for a birthday dinner, toiletries and manicures… $!75 a week seems more likely.

Don't think $175 is that bad.

Anonymous wrote:OP back. I like the idea of giving the same amount over the next four years so she can expect and budget. We do not give her an allowance. We do expect her to spend her summer earnings. The question was about a Christmas gift. We are thinking $400.

Our DS is 20 and doing very well in college, currently in his juionr year. We told him we'd pay for his room/board, tuition/fees for the first year. We also give an allowence of $200/month for 'everything else' which includes toiletries, gas, going out, gifts, etc. and he does have a job on campus a few hours a week. He does earn money over the summer that he can use for any extras he wants and hopefully save for after graduation. Each xmas and birthday (July) as long as he's doing well in school we give him another semester paid for. So far he's doing well, is staying accountable, and is learning a bit of money management. The arrangement has worked well for us.

Anonymous wrote:We pay for our son's private university and when he got into the habit of going to the Whole Foods across the street to eat there instead of eating on his mandatory meal plan... we told him that was a waste of money, and to stick to the dining halls (which are pretty decent). He hardly ever spends any money, because he doesn't go out much and never even thinks about going shopping for clothes. I still have to push him to replace his worn things. So maybe he spends $50 a month, annualized.

Some meal plans serve unhealthy food or just plain gross food. Why would you stop your son from eating better? $50/month is very little

Her spending sounds completely reasonable and actually pretty low. Not sure about Christmas money (we don't do that) but life is very expensive these days so the amount of spending is literally one Lululemon item or 4 meals out...Hardly a super consumerist!

Anonymous wrote:I have a freshman son at a public college. He has more money than your daughter. I suggested he download a budgeting app and stick to a budget since he’s a student without a regular income. He has done that and has stuck to it. It sounds like your daughter needs to learn to budget and stop comparing her spending to others’.

This.

I have a freshman son at a public college. He has more money than your daughter. I suggested he download a budgeting app and stick to a budget since he’s a student without a regular income. He has done that and has stuck to it. It sounds like your daughter needs to learn to budget and stop comparing her spending to others’.