I really miss baggers at the grocery store. I wonder how I'll be able to manage when I get older.

In NJ, the attendants will pump gas for you.

If you look frail or struggling, sometimes people will offer to help you with groceries at Balducci’s - this only happened to me a few times when I was heavily pregnant or shopping with a newborn. My MIL lives in a small town and had used the same store for 50+ years. They offer to help her to the car is she is not with my FIL.

Anthropologie, Nordstrom, Saks and Victoria’s Secret all start a room for you. At Anthro and VS, they write your name on the door with a dry erase marker. Maybe not when it’s super busy during the holidays, but this happened to me a few months ago when I was shopping in person for a wedding I needed multiple outfits for.

It’s been a while since I have had a waiter put my napkin on my lap - maybe at Inn at little Washington or Citronelle 10 years ago? But literally last night we ate at Ellie Bird and when ladies went to the restroom, the wait staff quietly picked up their napkin from their chair and folded it. I don’t mind a bit less interaction from wait staff. I don’t want them to fawn over me, I want them to facilitate a well timed and seamless experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m temporarily living in another country where labor is cheaper. We have all of that still. I am so appreciative of it!

In reverse, perhaps in the U.S. corporations are just greedy. Corporate greed cut those jobs.

This. We don't have nice service because those jobs were cut in the name of efficiency, and supposedly lower prices (that mostly didn't materialize). There are fewer service jobs and they pay worse, which means the people working those jobs now are both lower qualified and more stressed. Don't blame them, blame their employers.

Next step is for you to get fed up with poor service and choose self service (already happening) or AI, even though that's even less service than before. It used to be difficult to find a human customer service rep, now it's difficult to even find an email address and if a series of automated prompts doesn't fix your problem you are SOL.

Yes I miss this. Also society was more functional when this was the norm because it created more jobs for young people, elderly people, part-time workers, etc. It enabled more people to work in industries that they had no experience in since these were entry-level jobs, which also helped people identify industries they might want to pursue more advanced work in. It provided people getting back on their feet after a difficult period a foothold on the economic ladder.

But it's all driven by corporate greed. They staff as leanly as possible to lower overhead and maximize profits.

An Amazon Fresh opened in my neighborhood recently and I shopped there one time just to see what it was like. It's barely staffed at all and the woman who rang me up was openly hostile (I went to use my phone to pay and she angrily told me I couldn't do that there and would have to run my card -- which is totally fine but why was she so rude about it). It felt cold and unwelcoming. You can tell the store is stocked using some algorithm to determine what demand will be and as a result the selection of products is strange -- all name brands (no store brands) and no creativity or ingenuity in what products are available. Which is usually part of the fun of trying a new store.

I also miss trying clothes on in person, buying gifts for kids in person, etc. Sure online ordering can be convenient, but I think it just sets the expectation that everyone can get anything within 24 hours, which in some ways makes our lives worse. People are impatient and demanding and it's all fed by this idea everything should be immediate and easy. I miss when things took longer and were sometimes more laborious, but also felt better and more rewarding (and when less was demanded of us in general because everyone accepted there were limits on what a person could do or have access to).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pushing 50 and you're either from a different place than me, or a couple decades older. I was pumping gas before I was old enough to drive. While the gas tank was filling I'd clean my parents' windshield.

At 14 I worked at a grocery store as a cashier and we didn't have baggers or anyone who pushed the cart to the car for you.

I've never taken anyone up on an offer to start a dressing room for me. I want to hold everything I'm considering so I can put back what won't work.

All the high end restaurants I go to involve offering wine, dessert, etc., and they automatically offer water (except when we're in a drought) and put bread on the table. I don't want anyone putting anything in my lap. My hands work, and I'll invite you to touch my body if I want you to.

Not OP, but I am 46 and when I was a kid in the late 80s gas stations had full service or self service lanes. Full service had an attendant and you usually tipped them $1-2 (back when gas was $1-2 per gallon). In NJ you can’t pump your own gas if you want to - even today.

Gas being $1-$2 in the 80s means current gas prices are actually pretty much to be expected given inflation (even cheaper, relatively speaking)

Anonymous wrote:I remember when there were not only people who worked as cashiers at the grocery store. There were people, usually young men, who sacked the groceries. Then they would ask and carry your groceries to your car.

I remember when a department store had people working in it, who would ask if you wanted to start a dressing room. They would carry the clothes for you, hang them on the door, check on you, ask if you wanted a different size or color. I hardly ever saw clothes piled up in the dressing rooms.

I remember the sound ding ding at the gas station. Fill 'er up. A gas station attendant would pump the gas, clean the windshield, and check the oil.

When I ate dinner at a higher end restaurant, the servers would actually put your napkin on your lap, serve water without asking, serve bread, not try to rush people, and up sell people on dessert, wine, and cocktails.

That was just normal everyday service with a smile. Now I wouldn't even get that level of service at a platinum card carrying VIP extra special table.

Did I miss anything?

I am still asked if I want to start a dressing room at regular stars like Loft or Madewell - they will take what I am hanging and start a room for me and check on me. Department stores are becoming old fashioned in favor of specific brand stores. I find them overwhelming and hate shopping them.

I still get napkins, repeated water fill ups, etc. at higher end restaurants.

I always filled my own gas and cleaned my own winshield (though not my DH who is from NJ)

Anonymous wrote:I'm pushing 50 and you're either from a different place than me, or a couple decades older. I was pumping gas before I was old enough to drive. While the gas tank was filling I'd clean my parents' windshield.

At 14 I worked at a grocery store as a cashier and we didn't have baggers or anyone who pushed the cart to the car for you.

I've never taken anyone up on an offer to start a dressing room for me. I want to hold everything I'm considering so I can put back what won't work.

All the high end restaurants I go to involve offering wine, dessert, etc., and they automatically offer water (except when we're in a drought) and put bread on the table. I don't want anyone putting anything in my lap. My hands work, and I'll invite you to touch my body if I want you to.

Not OP, but I am 46 and when I was a kid in the late 80s gas stations had full service or self service lanes. Full service had an attendant and you usually tipped them $1-2 (back when gas was $1-2 per gallon). In NJ you can’t pump your own gas if you want to - even today.

Anonymous wrote:The main thing I miss is having someone in a department store whose sole job was to assist with bra fitting. There was always some lady (ancient in my mind though they were probably younger than I am now) who would measure you and assess the kind of bra that would best meet your needs, shape, etc.

I stumbled upon what could only be described as a bra kiosk in Japan which was basically a bunch of curtains hung up in an alley for privacy and a million bras in boxes. Some ancient saleslady whips your shirt off in front of all the other shoppers, measures you at lightning speed and writes down your size, then you go hunting in the boxes. I had no idea we used to have that in America!

Anonymous wrote:Np, and I have thought often of the days of gas attendants. I have OCD and dread pumping gas due to the multiple hands that have touched the pump. I carry Clorox wipes in my car for that reason and won't touch any part of the gas pumping process without a wipe. I would tip handsomely if an attendant were there. I believe NJ still has them.

It is illegal to pump your own gas in NJ! You have to use an attendant.

Anonymous wrote:I’m only 40 but do remember a lot of these as an adult.

5 years ago I was able to find a store to get my son’s foot measured properly and could buy shoes from the salesperson. Now I go into shoes stores - footlockers, kids footlocker, Nordstrom, DSW - and cannot find a single person to measure his foot. The best I can find is a foam mat with foot shapes on it.

As recently as the aughts, I couldn’t shop in person without being asked by several people if I needed help. I do get asked at some stores how I’m doing (bookstores, along with women’s clothing brands).

Local grocery store still offers baggers! I don’t go there because most of the cashiers and baggers pointedly ignore me even when I am friendly (because they only talk to the elderly? Because they don’t like minorities?): But it is nice to have a designated bagger.

I also remember when cashiers and advice people weren’t just warm bodies. They said hello, at least forced a smile. Now it’s pulling teeth to get them to treat you like dirt and unlock a door or grab an item from behind the counter.

The shoe store service really bothers me. When my kids were toddlers we would go to Payless where you expect there to be minimal customer service. Now they are 7 and 9 and I took them to a pricey (to me) shoe store for the first time. Absolutely no one worked there! The sole employee was at the register. I asked her "I was hoping to measure my kids' feet" and she wordlessly handed me the measuring thing. Ok, got their sizes, now I have to find the boxes, and they're up on a stack 15 feet in the air. Back to the register.
"I think I need a ladder to get the sizes I need" and she just looks at me chomping her gum. Ok...I ended up standing on some chairs and nudging the boxes off with a pen. Finally another employee appears and says "You could have just ordered online." Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pushing 50 and you're either from a different place than me, or a couple decades older. I was pumping gas before I was old enough to drive. While the gas tank was filling I'd clean my parents' windshield.

At 14 I worked at a grocery store as a cashier and we didn't have baggers or anyone who pushed the cart to the car for you.

I've never taken anyone up on an offer to start a dressing room for me. I want to hold everything I'm considering so I can put back what won't work.

All the high end restaurants I go to involve offering wine, dessert, etc., and they automatically offer water (except when we're in a drought) and put bread on the table. I don't want anyone putting anything in my lap. My hands work, and I'll invite you to touch my body if I want you to.

I'm even younger than you and I remember all these things. Maybe not the gas pumping, since I didn't grow up in New Jersey, but the rest of it for sure.

Anonymous wrote:I was born in 1989 in MD and I remember all of that. My mom would always let the baggers take her groceries to the car. I remember her always having to tell the department sales associates that she was just looking when they’d ask if she needed a dressing room.
She would pump her own gas usually but I do remember there would usually be an attendant asking if she wanted them to pump for her. Whenever we go to NJ my kids are always amazed that they pump your gas for you.

+1

At the gas station, we would usually pick the Self pump at the gas station but sometimes we would pick the Full pump, for full service. They would pump the gas and clean the windshield for us.

My brother worked as a bagger at the grocery store for his first job, and my mother always have the baggers take the groceries to the car. Fwiw, the small/medium sized town she lives in now still has baggers who will assist her with her groceries, on days when she brings her cane.

Anonymous wrote:I remember when there were not only people who worked as cashiers at the grocery store. There were people, usually young men, who sacked the groceries. Then they would ask and carry your groceries to your car.

I remember when a department store had people working in it, who would ask if you wanted to start a dressing room. They would carry the clothes for you, hang them on the door, check on you, ask if you wanted a different size or color. I hardly ever saw clothes piled up in the dressing rooms.

I remember the sound ding ding at the gas station. Fill 'er up. A gas station attendant would pump the gas, clean the windshield, and check the oil.

When I ate dinner at a higher end restaurant, the servers would actually put your napkin on your lap, serve water without asking, serve bread, not try to rush people, and up sell people on dessert, wine, and cocktails.

That was just normal everyday service with a smile. Now I wouldn't even get that level of service at a platinum card carrying VIP extra special table.

Did I miss anything?

This was always a little bit weird. I'm glad not to be treated like a five year old anymore.

Anonymous wrote:The main thing I miss is having someone in a department store whose sole job was to assist with bra fitting. There was always some lady (ancient in my mind though they were probably younger than I am now) who would measure you and assess the kind of bra that would best meet your needs, shape, etc.

We went to Dillards for that, and when I moved here, to Nordstrom. Now there's no one anywhere. And Nordstrom doesn't even have any stock for me to pick myself.

The poor young people of today, they don't even know what they are not getting.

The main thing I miss is having someone in a department store whose sole job was to assist with bra fitting. There was always some lady (ancient in my mind though they were probably younger than I am now) who would measure you and assess the kind of bra that would best meet your needs, shape, etc.