Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 14:20     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Anonymous wrote:My MIL consistently and persistently says things such as the following:

Noticing the kids have a pimple: “I never had a pimple in my life.”

When babies fuss: “My boys never fussed. They were perfect.”

About herself: “I’ve always had an incredibly flat stomach.”

Daughter is moody: “I’m always in a good mood. My sons were never moody.”

When people have freckles or any kind of blemish: “I’ve never had such a thing. They’re just awful.”

“My guys never had sugar. I made everything from scratch.”

I cannot. I cannot stand her. I have to just mmmmmm, don’t I. There’s nothing else to be said. It’s just so. Hard.


she's a narcissist
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 14:17     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
I wouldn’t be able to ignore. I’d probably always respond with “if you say so.” Just repeated it
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 13:54     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Grin like the Cheshire cat and respond "How wonderful."
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 13:36     Subject: Re:How to respond to this from MIL?
Anonymous wrote:This is my mother to an extent. “I used to wake up at 5 am every day and make all the food from scratch.” Every time she makes one of these pronouncements my DH started replying with “would you like a medal for that?” Yes, rude, I know, but it’s the only thing that shuts it down.


Love this!
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 13:36     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Anonymous wrote:"No one is asking your opinion or experience, Miriam."


I prefer to go with “You win! You are the best” at whatever. With the “I never had the flu” I would probably suggest she enroll in some medical studies so others could learn from her genetic superiority.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 13:33     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Just give the same response every single time. Do it quickly and every time. If she asks why you keep saying that, just respond with, “Well I figured you wanted some congratulations since you keep sharing how you were better at something. Is there some other reason you keep telling us how you are better?”

Anonymous wrote:My MIL consistently and persistently says things such as the following:

Noticing the kids have a pimple: “I never had a pimple in my life.”
Sounds like you’re the pimple winner of the family. Congratulations!”

When babies fuss: “My boys never fussed. They were perfect.”
“Sounds like you’re the winner at mothering in the family. Congratulations!”

About herself: “I’ve always had an incredibly flat stomach.”
“Sounds like you’re the winner of the flattest stomach in the family. Congratulations!”

Daughter is moody: “I’m always in a good mood. My sons were never moody.”
“Sounds like you’re the winner in mood regulation. Congratulations!”

When people have freckles or any kind of blemish: “I’ve never had such a thing. They’re just awful.”
“Sounds like you’re the winner with clear skin. Congratulations!”

“My guys never had sugar. I made everything from scratch.”
“Sounds like you were the best mom on the planet. Congratulations!”
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 13:19     Subject: Re:How to respond to this from MIL?
This is my mother to an extent. “I used to wake up at 5 am every day and make all the food from scratch.” Every time she makes one of these pronouncements my DH started replying with “would you like a medal for that?” Yes, rude, I know, but it’s the only thing that shuts it down.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 12:55     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mother is the same. She always adds "my doctor" in front of things. Like "my doctor told me I have the perfect diet."

I have started being rude since it is narcissistic. My response "I have never had a doctor say things to me like is said to you. He must be super special."


She's just going to think your doctor is a quack and refer you to hers. Dumb response.


Sigh. She's making it up. No doctor says that. It's blathering--she's not going to recommend her imaginary doctor.


Old people spend a lot of time at the doctor. For sure she has one at the ready.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 12:22     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
I will admit that in the past I’ve said “wow, you’re the one, huh?” And she literally responses with a little fake embarrassed chuckle. She is the worst.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 12:12     Subject: Re:How to respond to this from MIL?
Or some people need to know they are winning. So tell her when she makes a comment say -"well you win"
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 12:11     Subject: Re:How to respond to this from MIL?
I would head it off before she says it - "I know you never got the flu, but DD has it."

Or if she says it before you say - "Well isn't that nice."
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 12:09     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
“Uh-uh” said in the deadest tone possible. Then change subject. Or, when applicable, “It’s not a competition.”
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 11:57     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mother is the same. She always adds "my doctor" in front of things. Like "my doctor told me I have the perfect diet."

I have started being rude since it is narcissistic. My response "I have never had a doctor say things to me like is said to you. He must be super special."


She's just going to think your doctor is a quack and refer you to hers. Dumb response.


Sigh. She's making it up. No doctor says that. It's blathering--she's not going to recommend her imaginary doctor.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 11:54     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
The person who said go grey rock had great advice. I would personally completely ignore her when she says these things. Act like she’s not even talking or not even there. No acknowledgement at all
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2024 10:41     Subject: How to respond to this from MIL?
"Noted. Anyway, how are [renovations in your condo building going or whatever other topic shift moves things off the subject]?"