Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.

Lots of families are spread out. It’s a few hours just at the airport waiting to get through security.

Af least spread out means you have to make a choice! My parents and DHs are all divorced and within 2 hours of each other. Holiday weekends used to be a nightmare. Now we just don’t go anywhere on Christmas and have an open door policy.

You're the jerk.

Christmas starts on December 25 and lasts twelve days, until January 6. New Year’s Eve is in that time frame. Christmas Eve is also traditionally a celebratory time.

If you have your parents/ILs/family over at any time from December 24-January 6, congratulations! You celebrated Christmas with them.

Let it go, OP. You’re in for decades of disappointment if you are one of those people who think The Thing is Only The Thing on The Day.

I have two daughters, two siblings with families, lots of nieces and nephews, tons of aunts/uncles/cousins, parents, ILs. We see a lot of people a lot of the time. We celebrate. WE know that Dec. 26 can be a big, warm loving Christmas party. WE know that if the Saturday after Thanksgiving is the day that works for most people, that’s when we celebrate. We’re warm, flexible, inclusive and laid back. Take notes.

Anonymous wrote:


If you want to be included, you have to be pleasant.

- the "jerk" in this scenario. Not.

Or rich. I don't think the in-laws would disinherit us. But just in case I humor them. And I do a better job than their own daughter!

Anonymous wrote:
"It's just a few hours!", said all the abusers and enablers.

A few pleasant hours for them, and stress/anger/humiliation for the victims who will have to process their suffering for a much longer period.

Not a fair deal, OP. You've got to respect other people's boundaries.

+1000

My parents say the same but I was abused. Am I also required to go?

Anonymous wrote:There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.

Lots of families are spread out. It’s a few hours just at the airport waiting to get through security.

If you want to be included, you have to be pleasant.

- the "jerk" in this scenario. Not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who abused me? In every way? And have continued to try to ruin my life as an adult? No thanks.

Yes Larla time to out on your big girl pants and grow up!! Get over it! Their time is short and your kids are watching. You’ll be put out to pasture too!!! So sick of my entitled Gen X friends bragging about cutting off their elderly parents or other crap. Spoiled pigs.

I wonder who could be the source of the problem here?

Hmmm. Hmmm.

How is it that no one wants to invite you?

What a mystery.

I’ll flip this and say you are a jerk if you demand others to travel to you or expect to be hosted. Drop the entitlement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

It's just a day, like any other day. You know Jesus wasn't actually born on this day, right? A lovely day with family is a lovely day with family.

And yet, never a post where someone says they'll do the 25th with their MIL and do their own family thing on the 27th, because it's just a date.

One year I did Thanksgiving at the ILs and the Wednesday before with my parents and you would have thought hell had broken loose. My mother was in tears. This year I hosted both sets the Wednesday before since I had to work Thanksgiving. ILs were mad that it wasn't the real day and Mom was mad she had to sit at a table with my ILs. You're coming over and eating my cooking, suck it up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

The people who care that much about the 24th or 25th are so uptight.

The date matters. We celebrate the birth of Jesus, the ultimate day in the history of mankind. It’s special and holy.

It wasn't in winter. Pope picked date to fit pagan holidays. Shepherds were not tending flocks and lambs in fields in winter. Plus the 24th in Holy Land and 25th here overlap.
Hallelujah

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

It's just a day, like any other day. You know Jesus wasn't actually born on this day, right? A lovely day with family is a lovely day with family.

And yet, never a post where someone says they'll do the 25th with their MIL and do their own family thing on the 27th, because it's just a date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

The people who care that much about the 24th or 25th are so uptight.

The date matters. We celebrate the birth of Jesus, the ultimate day in the history of mankind. It’s special and holy.

The date does not in fact matter because the Romans chose a date very close to the winter solstice so that the pagans they converted would still have a winter holiday to celebrate. How do you not know this?

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

It's just a day, like any other day. You know Jesus wasn't actually born on this day, right? A lovely day with family is a lovely day with family.