Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on a family trip to Disney + universal. This is a trip I saved for so that me and my son could go along with his cousins - my sister and brother in law. Financially speaking / we hover around the same income. But I find whenever my son wants something - his cousins soon come following and the budget i have for my son now gets extended by 3. It started with a pretzel, then a holiday cookie, then a transformers toy and after it became too much- I told my niece/nephew thru need to ask their own parents to buy : insert whatever.

We have 1 more park to go. How do I avoid this without making the children feel bad or making my child miss out on something we agreed to allow him to get? The parents won’t step in and surely aren’t offering to buy my son a snack or a toy.

So you hover around the same income, but they are paying for three kids and you are paying for one - except for there treats? You definitely have the income edge here.

Just talk with your sister about expectations.

It's not her responsibility to buy shit for her sister's kids just because they decided to have more than her.

This. WTH was the PP thinking.

OP I agree with the other posters that you all may just have differences in perspectives and expectations for your kids. I don’t buy my kids souvenirs nor do I buy things like minion cookies, etc multiple times a day. When we were at Disney they knew they could choose one thing from a gift shop the entire time we were there and they took their time looking at many stores to make sure they got what they wanted most. We would do one food treat per day. Maybe an ice cream or a Mickey pretzel but it wasn’t on demand.

I can see an issue traveling with some of our friends who buy their kids more in these situations. The way I handle it is to catch it in the act and remind the kids “if you want me to buy you a minion cookie that means no ice cream this afternoon, cool?” But your ILs may be conflict avoidant and not want to say that in the moment.

You are probably back, but this is the kind of thing it makes sense to talk about ahead of time.

I just went and we did, "I got this, you can get next".

When I am with my niece and nephew, I ask their parents before buying them treats and what the limits are. In OP's situation, a $6 treat becomes almost $30 quick.

"I am not sure your parents want you to have that".

A conflict we had was around redirecting kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister and BIL might be annoyed that you're buying their kids so much junk food.

Luckily the don't get a say. I don't know one family that does buy extra junk food on vacation.

Should say "doesn't buy extra junk food on vacation"

Anonymous wrote:Your sister and BIL might be annoyed that you're buying their kids so much junk food.

Luckily the don't get a say. I don't know one family that does buy extra junk food on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of why I don't enjoy traveling with other families. We don't buy a zillion treats and souvenirs (nor particularly want our kids to have them even if somebody else is treating, or the obligation to reciprocate).

+1. I don’t understand why parents can’t cut that crappy unnecessary indulgence. Same goes for random screentime during the day when the kids can easily entertain each other.

OP, your kid is at DISNEY. Why can’t he enjoy *that* experience, and running around with his cousins, instead of demanding (and being given) giant cookies and toys every day? If he likes cookies and toys, he can have them at home over the holidays.

I dunno. I haven’t been to Disney, but I have been to local amusement parks. And every time, I assume that I will be buying my kids some sort of snack that we wouldn’t normally have at home. Maybe you choose the giant cookie and my kid chooses the snow cone or similar. But I can’t imagine getting through a place like Disney on only the granola bars I packed for the day.

Anonymous wrote:Your sister and BIL might be annoyed that you're buying their kids so much junk food.

This could be it. I would be so annoyed meeting other moms and kids at the park to play and they would bring a bag full of snacks. Inevitably my kid would ask for sone and I would get a “tsk tsk, bring your kid some snacks!” I didn’t want my kid to snack for an hour of play at the park. So we stopped playing at the park with those families who fed their kids nonstop.

Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that you all aren’t having discussions about snacks and souvenirs ahead of time. Whenever I go out with others and our kids, if someone gets hungry or wants a treat, we talk about it - no one just goes off with their kid alone to get something. Also wouldn’t presume it’s ok to give food to someone else’s kid without parental permission.

This. Generally in this kind of scenario we take turns. So if you get them all pretzels, they buy the ice cream later.
You need to have a discussion.

Anonymous wrote:This is one of several reasons why we do not do group travel.

It’s no issue at all if the groups are on the same page and the adults know how to use their words.

This is one of several reasons why we do not do group travel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on a family trip to Disney + universal. This is a trip I saved for so that me and my son could go along with his cousins - my sister and brother in law. Financially speaking / we hover around the same income. But I find whenever my son wants something - his cousins soon come following and the budget i have for my son now gets extended by 3. It started with a pretzel, then a holiday cookie, then a transformers toy and after it became too much- I told my niece/nephew thru need to ask their own parents to buy : insert whatever.

We have 1 more park to go. How do I avoid this without making the children feel bad or making my child miss out on something we agreed to allow him to get? The parents won’t step in and surely aren’t offering to buy my son a snack or a toy.

So you hover around the same income, but they are paying for three kids and you are paying for one - except for there treats? You definitely have the income edge here.

Just talk with your sister about expectations.

It's not her responsibility to buy shit for her sister's kids just because they decided to have more than her.

Sure, it’s not her responsibility, but they are traveling as a group. OP chose this. Now she’s complaining about buying an ice cream cone or a cookie for her niece and nephew. That’s petty.

If the other parents are there, why aren’t they purchasing these things for their children?

Your sister and BIL might be annoyed that you're buying their kids so much junk food.

Anonymous wrote:3 most important words for Disney: Pay the Mouse

Embrace this and you will be at peace

lol. Reminds me of this: [youtube] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAx0offHNo[/youtube]

Anonymous wrote:This is part of why I don't enjoy traveling with other families. We don't buy a zillion treats and souvenirs (nor particularly want our kids to have them even if somebody else is treating, or the obligation to reciprocate).

+1. I don’t understand why parents can’t cut that crappy unnecessary indulgence. Same goes for random screentime during the day when the kids can easily entertain each other.

OP, your kid is at DISNEY. Why can’t he enjoy *that* experience, and running around with his cousins, instead of demanding (and being given) giant cookies and toys every day? If he likes cookies and toys, he can have them at home over the holidays.

This sounds like hell.