Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am baffled at the number of children having IEPs at our school. It seems like there is an ever increasing number of children who are hyperactive, uncooperative, can't listen or do anything on their own (poor executive functioning - what is that and why is it happening) ... it is truly heartbreaking to see that, it is also very obvious how difficult life is for the parents of these children, very alarming and heartwrenching. What do you think is contributing to this change with our kids?? Is it something we are doing? Is it the environment? The food? The screens? I know there is likely a lot more proper diagnosis and attention but it can't all just be that we diagnose more acurately today vs. 20 years ago. thank you

There were just as many with IEP-worthy conditions when I was in school 30 years ago. The difference is that back then the treatment was “Sit down, shut up and do as you’re told, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just lazy.”

Hard to believe that didn’t work out well.

And things are working out well in the present day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mass-produced school is anti-human, so when school becomes normalized, humans become "abnormal".

This. I think public school needs to be one model and there needs to be at least one or two other models.
The one size fits all model is broken beyond repair and public school spend more time and money on fighting parents than it does helping children.

Public school does work for everyone and that’s why homeschooling is also an option…as well as private and virtual school.

You going to hand out the school vouchers to make sure it's actually an option for everyone who needs it? Or are people just supposed to homeschool around working 2 jobs to make ends meet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. You blaming me for that is pretty disgusting.

I’m not sure who you’re talking to — maybe the PP who said poor parenting? I’m curious what you mean by “blaming”. Would you consider it blaming if it turns out you and your spouse have gene variants that combined to increase the risk for one or both of these diagnoses? They do go hand in hand fairly often.

There are so many genes that influence brain development, cognition, and behavior. And they interact with the environment which can include parenting. I think if we knew more about all of this, and if we had more widespread genetic testing, we would all have a better understanding of why we and/or our kids have various diagnoses. And there would be a lot less blame and guilt along with more resources to help parents learn how they can influence their children’s outcomes positively.

I'm really interested in your "scientific" assessment of disabilities and I'm really curious what parenting can influence a child's dyslexia? Just curious, since you seem to think you know a lot.

Stop centering yourself here. I was referring more to ADHD. Go ahead and look up the literature on parenting styles, parenting interventions, and outcomes for ADHD. Here’s just one study to get you started: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18392155/ .

I bet a ton of money I know more than you. But you think you have all the answers because of your experience with your one dyslexic child. You clearly have a massive chip on your shoulder. I’m sure that does affect your child whether you realize it or not.

That study points to certain parenting styles exacerbating oppositional and conduct problems in kids who have already been diagnosed with ADHD.

It does not argue that parenting styles cause ADHD.

I never made that argument. I think the person who said that was just trying to get a reaction… and look it worked. But there is a lot of good evidence that parenting styles can influence the degree to which certain symptoms are expressed. The PP I replied to used the phrase “parenting can influence” so that’s what I was responding to. Parenting does not cause ADHD but it absolutely can influence outcomes.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. You blaming me for that is pretty disgusting.

Yeah, if we were to listen to PP and the likes, we should've beaten our kids to make them more "normal".

PP, karma is a b****. You don't know what YOUR parenting will bring out of your kid.

Anonymous wrote:I am baffled at the number of children having IEPs at our school. It seems like there is an ever increasing number of children who are hyperactive, uncooperative, can't listen or do anything on their own (poor executive functioning - what is that and why is it happening) ... it is truly heartbreaking to see that, it is also very obvious how difficult life is for the parents of these children, very alarming and heartwrenching. What do you think is contributing to this change with our kids?? Is it something we are doing? Is it the environment? The food? The screens? I know there is likely a lot more proper diagnosis and attention but it can't all just be that we diagnose more acurately today vs. 20 years ago. thank you

There were just as many with IEP-worthy conditions when I was in school 30 years ago. The difference is that back then the treatment was “Sit down, shut up and do as you’re told, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just lazy.”

Hard to believe that didn’t work out well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. You blaming me for that is pretty disgusting.

I’m not sure who you’re talking to — maybe the PP who said poor parenting? I’m curious what you mean by “blaming”. Would you consider it blaming if it turns out you and your spouse have gene variants that combined to increase the risk for one or both of these diagnoses? They do go hand in hand fairly often.

There are so many genes that influence brain development, cognition, and behavior. And they interact with the environment which can include parenting. I think if we knew more about all of this, and if we had more widespread genetic testing, we would all have a better understanding of why we and/or our kids have various diagnoses. And there would be a lot less blame and guilt along with more resources to help parents learn how they can influence their children’s outcomes positively.

I'm really interested in your "scientific" assessment of disabilities and I'm really curious what parenting can influence a child's dyslexia? Just curious, since you seem to think you know a lot.

Stop centering yourself here. I was referring more to ADHD. Go ahead and look up the literature on parenting styles, parenting interventions, and outcomes for ADHD. Here’s just one study to get you started: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18392155/ .

I bet a ton of money I know more than you. But you think you have all the answers because of your experience with your one dyslexic child. You clearly have a massive chip on your shoulder. I’m sure that does affect your child whether you realize it or not.

That study points to certain parenting styles exacerbating oppositional and conduct problems in kids who have already been diagnosed with ADHD.

It does not argue that parenting styles cause ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the earlier testing and reduced stigmal posters.

But I also think that there are life style differences.

I think the former "sink or swim" mentality of the 80s was absolutely brutal and cruel for a group of kids but it probably convinced other kids to make a HUGE effort in school. They were probably defeated and miserable after school but maybe got through the day.

We also had more outdoor time and less access to screens. I think I am pretty obviously inattentive but I was motivated and anxious to always get my homework done even if I spent hours staring out the window instead of finishing what could be done in 30 minutes. If screens had competed for my attention, I don't know what would have become of me.

Last, this might not be true of everyone but I did spend a lot of time outdoors and playing/doing sports in the neighborhood as kid. I am not saying they were all halcyon days. There was loads of bullying and unsavory stuff. But I think it was healthy for our bodies to get exhausted and settled.

What does any of this have to do with a child having a learning disability? My child does not have ADHD and Executive Functioning issues because he is exhausted and unsettled. My kid has loads of down time. None of this fixes his disabilities.

I think someone's fourth grade educated gramma wandered in here.

I have three kids with ADHD. My older brother was textbook ADHD (hyperactive/impulsive) with fine motor delays. I found out recently that a friend/psychologist actually mentioned it to my parents in the early 80s but they didn't believe in or understand ADHD so no one ever did anything other than tell him to try harder. He eventually matured in his early 20s and did very well in years 4 and 5 of college. But the damage to his self-esteem? That doesn't go away.

I have never been diagnosed but obviously struggled with inattentive ADHD and executive function challenges. I kept it all in check with a lot of effort (major people pleaser) and anxiety. I did very well in school but I am terrible at being an adult. I was always willing to put in loads of extra time to do my duties but it was exhausting then and feels like too much as an adult. Thankfully, in our division of labor, my husband is in charge of everything deadline or money oriented. I know my strengths and my weaknesses.

Obviously my children's diagnoses do not come from the environment. What I was saying is that today's lifestyle can exacerbate issues. I managed to do very well in school (at the expense of my anxiety but still). No way I would have been so successful now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. You blaming me for that is pretty disgusting.

I’m not sure who you’re talking to — maybe the PP who said poor parenting? I’m curious what you mean by “blaming”. Would you consider it blaming if it turns out you and your spouse have gene variants that combined to increase the risk for one or both of these diagnoses? They do go hand in hand fairly often.

There are so many genes that influence brain development, cognition, and behavior. And they interact with the environment which can include parenting. I think if we knew more about all of this, and if we had more widespread genetic testing, we would all have a better understanding of why we and/or our kids have various diagnoses. And there would be a lot less blame and guilt along with more resources to help parents learn how they can influence their children’s outcomes positively.

I'm really interested in your "scientific" assessment of disabilities and I'm really curious what parenting can influence a child's dyslexia? Just curious, since you seem to think you know a lot.

Stop centering yourself here. I was referring more to ADHD. Go ahead and look up the literature on parenting styles, parenting interventions, and outcomes for ADHD. Here’s just one study to get you started: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18392155/ .

I bet a ton of money I know more than you. But you think you have all the answers because of your experience with your one dyslexic child. You clearly have a massive chip on your shoulder. I’m sure that does affect your child whether you realize it or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the earlier testing and reduced stigmal posters.

But I also think that there are life style differences.

I think the former "sink or swim" mentality of the 80s was absolutely brutal and cruel for a group of kids but it probably convinced other kids to make a HUGE effort in school. They were probably defeated and miserable after school but maybe got through the day.

We also had more outdoor time and less access to screens. I think I am pretty obviously inattentive but I was motivated and anxious to always get my homework done even if I spent hours staring out the window instead of finishing what could be done in 30 minutes. If screens had competed for my attention, I don't know what would have become of me.

Last, this might not be true of everyone but I did spend a lot of time outdoors and playing/doing sports in the neighborhood as kid. I am not saying they were all halcyon days. There was loads of bullying and unsavory stuff. But I think it was healthy for our bodies to get exhausted and settled.

What does any of this have to do with a child having a learning disability? My child does not have ADHD and Executive Functioning issues because he is exhausted and unsettled. My kid has loads of down time. None of this fixes his disabilities.

I think someone's fourth grade educated gramma wandered in here.

Um, you missed PP's point. Your ADHD kid probably needs more exercise.

Anonymous wrote:10% of the population historically has had ADHD. No idea what % has ASD. The diagnostic criteria are clearer now, there is no stigma and the way school is run today makes the learning disability noticeable. I think in the past with smaller classes, lots of recess and PE time and lower sit in your seat bored, kids with mild ADHD were fine until high school.

Yes, back when I was in school they just labeled the boys 'bad' and the girls 'airheads.' Now they actually get the help they need to show that they are smart and capable kids.

Anonymous wrote:It makes me sad that now people equate free time with screens. People don’t want to patent their kids and take the screens away so they sign their kids up for so many activities that the kids are anxious and over scheduled. Why can’t kids just come home and play or read? I’m glad I didn’t have the money to buy a phone or tablet for my kid. Most days he drew or read after he did his homework.

What does this have to do with children who have IEPs? I'll tell you, nothing.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. You blaming me for that is pretty disgusting.

We have uneducated fools posting here. I've never read so much illiterate, illogical, ignorant crap since I started reading this site decades ago.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the earlier testing and reduced stigmal posters.

But I also think that there are life style differences.

I think the former "sink or swim" mentality of the 80s was absolutely brutal and cruel for a group of kids but it probably convinced other kids to make a HUGE effort in school. They were probably defeated and miserable after school but maybe got through the day.

We also had more outdoor time and less access to screens. I think I am pretty obviously inattentive but I was motivated and anxious to always get my homework done even if I spent hours staring out the window instead of finishing what could be done in 30 minutes. If screens had competed for my attention, I don't know what would have become of me.

Last, this might not be true of everyone but I did spend a lot of time outdoors and playing/doing sports in the neighborhood as kid. I am not saying they were all halcyon days. There was loads of bullying and unsavory stuff. But I think it was healthy for our bodies to get exhausted and settled.

The former sink or swim mentality is mostly still in effect
Kids who are bright but have massive executive functioning impairments are left to slowly flame out as work gets more complex over time. Whether that happens in elementary, middle, or college. No one even bothers tracking how these kids do over time and post high school.
This was one of the major reasons I voted trump this year. The department of education, and local schools coul give less of a crap about these kids so let the departments die off

Anonymous wrote:Except now it’s almost half of the class in some areas. So don’t say that it’s the same as it used to be. It isn’t.

Half the class? I doubt this very much.

Agree with the earlier testing and reduced stigmal posters.

But I also think that there are life style differences.

I think the former "sink or swim" mentality of the 80s was absolutely brutal and cruel for a group of kids but it probably convinced other kids to make a HUGE effort in school. They were probably defeated and miserable after school but maybe got through the day.

We also had more outdoor time and less access to screens. I think I am pretty obviously inattentive but I was motivated and anxious to always get my homework done even if I spent hours staring out the window instead of finishing what could be done in 30 minutes. If screens had competed for my attention, I don't know what would have become of me.

Last, this might not be true of everyone but I did spend a lot of time outdoors and playing/doing sports in the neighborhood as kid. I am not saying they were all halcyon days. There was loads of bullying and unsavory stuff. But I think it was healthy for our bodies to get exhausted and settled.