How long have you been together? It’s sad that he decided to breakup instead of leaning on you. I hope you take back some of that energy while still supporting him to some degree.

You’ll be together again if it’s meant to be but don’t wait for him.

Yes, we did, and are happily married for almost 25 years.
But I wouldn't count on this strategy

DH and I sort of did, my friend and cousin definitely did.

Me: started dating DH freshman year of college. Never intended to meet someone that young and felt a bit overwhelmed about plans for after college. Broke up with him junior year and after about two weeks just really missed him. Freaked out and broke up with him senior year and it was a similar story. After graduation I spent the summer across the country - we didn’t break up but we also didn’t visit each other (talked on the phone a lot). Then 9/11 happened and I suspect that brought me clarity about not feeling like I “should” date if I just really loved this person. We have been together over 25 years now.

My cousin dated a woman when they were in their early 20s. He brought her to a family event, was kind of a jerk to her, and they broke up by the end of the weekend. We all loved her. They reconnected in their early 30s - he had a fire in his apartment and had to move out for a few days and she lived near by and had an extra room and it went from there. They have also been together over 20 years now.

Finally, my friend met someone she liked at camp as a teenager but it was too hard to date long distance. He went on to get married and she dated many people. He eventually divorced in his late 20s and a few years later then found each other on social media and started talking again and are married.

Worked for Ross and Rachel.

The stories where I know people who did this, people broke up because very young or because of long distance.

Breaking up because life is hard is not a great sign to me. Life IS hard. And always will be at various times if you are with someone for decades.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No offense but this would not be a man in which I would want to marry, let alone date. He has too many issues. He can’t handle work. He can’t handle his family. Do you really want to marry and procreate with a depressed man?

Crazy response. The guy is caring for a terminally ill parent. He is a good quality person.

And what happens when they’re married with a baby and his other parent is terminally ill? Will be leave them?

Possibly. Some people are total robots and do whatever their mom or dad drilled into their brains for 18 years.

Yes

My now husband and I meet very young and fell in love fast. On paper, our relationship shouldn’t have worked out and we had some communication problems so we kept trying to break up. But what I now know as fundamentals to a healthy relationship were always there - love, respect, kindness.

After a two year break, we meet by chance in the metro and quickly realized that the fundamentals were still strong so we got back together. We went into couples counseling to work on the communication issues and had grown up enough to make it work. We’ve been married 16 years now.

It hasn’t been the easiest or most straight forward path, but we are very happy with where it’s lead us. One thing to caution you on: don’t plan on getting back together. Live your life, make plans, go on dates. If your lives come back together, wonderful, but don’t live for a future you can’t really control.

I have a friend who broke up with her boufriend when he moved away for grad school. They ended up back together married for over 10 years with two kids. They seem happy.

Anonymous wrote:Chances of getting back together are very high. However, I don't see a reason to marry him.
I have ex like that. If he gets stressed out, he dumps me so fast. He always comes back though.
Now I'm just a friend to lean on as the running away got old.

Agree, he’s got issues and it’s not commitment ones


The only break ups I recall going in to marriage where when the guy was indecisive for too long and got dumped, then came back strong. Half of those ended up divorced, for similar issues like poor communication and passiveness/ indecision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I recently broke up. The breakup was very amicable. We had a nice relationship. However he is under a lot of stress due to caring for a terminally ill parent, a friend who died abruptly, and troubles with his business. he is starting to feel depressed because of these things.

He is starting therapy to learn better coping strategies, and how to process his emotions better. He would like us to remain friends and be open to getting back together in the future.

I was wondering if anyone out there took a break while dating and ended up successfully rekindling things?

Um, they are better off without you. If you can’t be there when the struggle, you won’t be there later. “Sorry you had all these traumatic events, but now it’s over I’m in.”

OP here. He broke up with me.

My now- spouse and I broke up for two years, then got back together and have been together twenty years, with two kids. I got back together with him because biological clock was ticking, I hadn’t found the love of my life during the hiatus, we do share a lot of values. But none of the issues that made us break up went away (tho it seemed like they had when we first got back together and were on our best behavior for a year or two). There are good things about him and I’m so glad I have my kids, but it has been a conflicted relationship and many times I have had regrets about choosing him as a life partner. (Though at the time, it did not feel like I had any other options other than being alone).

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I recently broke up. The breakup was very amicable. We had a nice relationship. However he is under a lot of stress due to caring for a terminally ill parent, a friend who died abruptly, and troubles with his business. he is starting to feel depressed because of these things.

He is starting therapy to learn better coping strategies, and how to process his emotions better. He would like us to remain friends and be open to getting back together in the future.

I was wondering if anyone out there took a break while dating and ended up successfully rekindling things?

Um, they are better off without you. If you can’t be there when the struggle, you won’t be there later. “Sorry you had all these traumatic events, but now it’s over I’m in.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No offense but this would not be a man in which I would want to marry, let alone date. He has too many issues. He can’t handle work. He can’t handle his family. Do you really want to marry and procreate with a depressed man?

Crazy response. The guy is caring for a terminally ill parent. He is a good quality person.

And what happens when they’re married with a baby and his other parent is terminally ill? Will be leave them?

I know a few couples, yes. Dated, broke up, then got back together and got married usually due to one of them trying very hard to win the other one back. All couples were divorced within 10 years though obviously