Anonymous wrote:In house lawyer. I make 300k WFH and have very little stress

What kind of company do you work for? How many years have you been graduated from law school? What's your practice area before in-house (assuming you worked in a law firm before in-house). Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’m a teacher and I think it’s a relatively low-stress job. Takes a few years to find your footing but if you’re at a good school with a strong union, the pay is usually good, and you get a LOT of time off. I teach secondary, core subject at a title 1 school.

This was either written by:

1. A troll
2. Someone who is very, very good at dissociating, stopping work at an arbitrary time on the clock, not taking anything home, and not GAF
3. Someone who teaches at the best school ever, with miraculously supportive admin, ready-made curriculum etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP if you were my child, I would say you were comparing your reality to other people’s images. I would tell my child to stop comparing. I would say to assume all work is hard. What, to you, is worth the hard work?

I would tell my child to use internships to help them learn about this. Is pure money all the time worth it? Building things? Discovering things? Helping people? Leading teams?

Even in mid-life, if you did an exercise like this, could you find small changes you can make to test the waters? Tired of dealing with entitled kids: switch to public? Want to only work with bright, motivated kids: switch to that kind of role? Want to work with adults, mostly leaning teams: switch to working in an admin role?

Never do kids ever pick the right, cushy, hybrid job at 22. If you try, that situation will last temporarily and when it disappears, you will find no reason to want that job. Instead find something permanent worth holding onto with all the ups and downs.

"Helping people" and "discovering things" sound great until you're eight hours into the job on the fourth day of the week and you're just tired of dealing with your coworker Peter and you're just TIRED again.

At the end of the day they are all just jobs. It's like musical chairs - you land where you land when the music stops and hopefully it's something you can sustain.

I'm so tired. I've had the dream jobs, and the hard jobs, and the well paying jobs, and the prestigious jobs, and the jobs where I get a little bit famous, and the jobs where I am playing my small role in trying to make the world a better place. And I am so tired.

It depends on what stress you mean. For me, I can take on a lot of projects and juggle a lot of work. I like that. Others would find that stressful. I also like managing people but others find it very stressful.

I'd say any job where you deal with the public or a lot of clients which will involve emotions will be stressful. I think having to pretty much always please or help others is the hardest thing to do and causes burnout. Sales, especially, but the right person can love it.

People who work with numbers and support their organization internally always seemed to like their jobs. But being a CPA at tax time would be about as stressful as you could get.

During my career, I learned new things and changed my mind about what I liked doing. So you evolve. But there were certain things I knew I'd never want to do, like run my own business or be in sales, that never changed. I would suggest doing something they have a talent for and see what happens. Another thing is that sometimes a job is different than what you thought it would be--both better or worse.

Anonymous wrote:this all depends on what they're good at and what their assets are.

Some people don't deal with stress well. I used to be in federal govt, and there'd be single people without kids working 9-5 losing their hair from "stress". I work in big law and it's only stressful when i'm working 12 hours a day. Less than that and I don't find it stressful.

So true. I know a mom of one who works part time and sets her own schedule, has family money from dhs side to fall back on and she was asked to teach one class last year that she had to commute for. She totally lost her mind about it, ranting about the prep and stress bc she’d get home late one day a week. It was hard listening to her and how tone deaf she was as our mutual friends were juggling multiple kids, sick parents and full time jobs.

In house lawyer. I make 300k WFH and have very little stress

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. I’d say in 2024 in this area a “reasonable” HHI would be $300k or $150k pp but it’s not always split evenly like that. It’s obviously not in our family.

If DH and I had it to do over again, I’m not even sure what we would pick. Hybrid office jobs seem cushy, but maybe the stress is just hidden.

You should have planned to relocate out of metro DC.

There are high-paid lawyers and teachers everywhere. But definitely places where work-life balance is better and real estate costs are lower.

I think teaching is somewhat better in affluent suburban districts. Especially in regions that are growing instead of shrinking.

Orthodontist

Statistician ( but need phd) dh does this and isn’t stressed

Physical therapist seem less stressed

Therapist in general can sometimes work pt which is good if they want to care for children and work

My neighborhood is full of IT professionals who work from home

Two friends are accountants and wfh


Wouldn’t recommend social work | human which is what I do because it doesn’t pay well but I’m not too stressed. Depends on the population you work with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’m a teacher and I think it’s a relatively low-stress job. Takes a few years to find your footing but if you’re at a good school with a strong union, the pay is usually good, and you get a LOT of time off. I teach secondary, core subject at a title 1 school.

You are very fortunate. That’s not the case for many of us. I am also a secondary teacher. I have to actively plan ahead of time to take a Saturday off for family. There’s too much grading, too much planning, and too much mental stimulation. I’ve already cut every corner I can, and it’s still too much.

Same. It’s bad. I too tech secondary, a core subject and at a title 1 school. It’s mentally draining. Just yesterday a student told me to suck his d!ck. Another student zoomed in and took a picture of my breast through my clothes. I had to watch a fight and not break it up (not allowed to), and a parent told me that their kid is my problem while in school. I am tired. I am sad. Every Teacher I know is medicated in some capacity.

I’m sorry about your day, PP. I get it. I had a parent scream at me yesterday, accusing me of lying even though the proof was literally sitting on the table between us. That was a relatively light day, too, as far as stress goes. And yes, every teacher I know is medicated, too. It’s a sad state of affairs.

OP, I wish I had a suggestion for you. Maybe something adjacent to education? Any chance you can get one of those awesome office-based positions that doesn’t include the actual stress of teaching? An academic coach, etc? (I know it’s not the best suggestion. We’re all trying to land one of those, so competition is steep.)

Anonymous wrote:OP if you were my child, I would say you were comparing your reality to other people’s images. I would tell my child to stop comparing. I would say to assume all work is hard. What, to you, is worth the hard work?

I would tell my child to use internships to help them learn about this. Is pure money all the time worth it? Building things? Discovering things? Helping people? Leading teams?

Even in mid-life, if you did an exercise like this, could you find small changes you can make to test the waters? Tired of dealing with entitled kids: switch to public? Want to only work with bright, motivated kids: switch to that kind of role? Want to work with adults, mostly leaning teams: switch to working in an admin role?

Never do kids ever pick the right, cushy, hybrid job at 22. If you try, that situation will last temporarily and when it disappears, you will find no reason to want that job. Instead find something permanent worth holding onto with all the ups and downs.

This is a really wise post, PP, thanks. Tucking it away in my brain for future parenting needs.

NP. Any accountants out there? Would you recommend your field?

My brother enjoys the pace and low stress of his job as a building plans reviewer for a county government in the south. He makes about $100k after 15 years.

My brother in law joined the federal government (Commerce Dept) right out of college at 22. He just retired at 65 as a non-supervisory GS-15 and continues to enjoy what has been a lifetime of low stress, international travel and (hopefully) decades more of financial/healthcare security.

A federal employee dud. Reading the comments here they take 2 hour lunch breaks and binge watch their favorite shows.

In all honestly, state and local government could offer these wants.

OP if you were my child, I would say you were comparing your reality to other people’s images. I would tell my child to stop comparing. I would say to assume all work is hard. What, to you, is worth the hard work?

I would tell my child to use internships to help them learn about this. Is pure money all the time worth it? Building things? Discovering things? Helping people? Leading teams?

Even in mid-life, if you did an exercise like this, could you find small changes you can make to test the waters? Tired of dealing with entitled kids: switch to public? Want to only work with bright, motivated kids: switch to that kind of role? Want to work with adults, mostly leaning teams: switch to working in an admin role?

Never do kids ever pick the right, cushy, hybrid job at 22. If you try, that situation will last temporarily and when it disappears, you will find no reason to want that job. Instead find something permanent worth holding onto with all the ups and downs.

Lawn care advisor