Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.

Or have your kid do extra work at home and improve. He needs a super power. They all have one. Mine was easy. Speed. If he is not a speedster make him the best Passer/best Touch/ best Dribbler on the team by working at home. The answer is not always leaving, complaining about coach to Director etc... sometimes the answer is putting in extra work. Especially when he is young enough (10) to become very very good at this game with just some extra practice on his own. If he were not playing, I agree move... but if he is playing half the game... Work work work. It won't go to waste even if you end up moving down the road he will be a more technical player able to back himself on any team.

Sure, but you're missing the point. The coach is being lazy and whether it's playing op kid or someone what the coach shouldn't be staying injured/under performing players either way.

Really cannot decipher what you are trying to say.
Either way. Forget the coach/forget the club. In 2-3 years none of these kids will be with same Coach/Club.
WhatbI said above "work work work" on your individual technique is what will make the difference. If the coach is playing the kid 50% now... extra work will have him play 80 -90% because improvement cannot be ignored ored and the coach team wants to win.
You have to invest in YOURSELF as a player. The club/ coach is a resource for you to develop... but you the player have to invest in yourself. Whatever you give to football it will give to you. It is the most fair thing in the world, but you have to give it your time and love to be good

Sure, made no sense to no one but you. Why don't you just list the business you work for or 'with' that helped your player SO much. No one is asking for your advice and yet you keep shoving it into comments. So many families listen to people like you and sink thousands into outside training and it makes zero difference at that club/for their coach.

Coaches regularly just pick kids and ignore the rest and it makes no sense. It is not uncommon and for a number of reasons from laziness to momentarily (there are so many threads about coaches/clubs being pay to play.)

Either way, what I said is real advice op was looking for. Bring it up with the club and to their attention. If they don't respond well look elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:I think the coaches make a lot of promises to new players, like you’ll be my starting attacking midfielder and get most of the minutes. Don’t care about returning players.

YES!

I think the coaches make a lot of promises to new players, like you’ll be my starting attacking midfielder and get most of the minutes. Don’t care about returning players.

Anonymous wrote:Once some coaches form an opinion (and clubs too), it can be next to possible to change it even when the player has improved drastically and done everything right. At that point, it’s time to move on.

I’m critical of my kids’ play. I played through college myself and I’ve seen teams where they were not the best in there position and when they’d complain- I didn’t hesitate to tell them that—not in a negative way—but they had to work hard and improve. AND- I told them they couldn’t be “just as good” as the starter, they had to show they were better.

I would have to agree with what's in bold. It is so hard to change perception. When my son was younger, he was on the 2nd team, always guest with the 1st team but he could not get moved to the first team. Coach always had a justification, etc. and asked us to be patient and he needed to develop more. Maybe there was some truth at the time. It messed his confidence for some time. Anyway, we moved club and my son was assigned to the first team and has been a starter since and plays in the top boys youth leagues since he moved. Don't waste time trying to convince someone who doesn't see it your child imo.

U13 parent here. My kid has fallen off the starting lineup and is typically subbed in and plays about 20 - 30% of the game as a sub.

He's smaller than most kids and at this age I think that has a huge influence on things as some players are already sporting those peach-fuzz mustaches while other kids haven't even hit puberty yet. It's a tough age. Time will tell.

Up until this year, however, he could count on playing roughly 50% of every game. So if your kid is not getting to play at least half of each game it sounds like something is wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.

Or have your kid do extra work at home and improve. He needs a super power. They all have one. Mine was easy. Speed. If he is not a speedster make him the best Passer/best Touch/ best Dribbler on the team by working at home. The answer is not always leaving, complaining about coach to Director etc... sometimes the answer is putting in extra work. Especially when he is young enough (10) to become very very good at this game with just some extra practice on his own. If he were not playing, I agree move... but if he is playing half the game... Work work work. It won't go to waste even if you end up moving down the road he will be a more technical player able to back himself on any team.

Sure, but you're missing the point. The coach is being lazy and whether it's playing op kid or someone what the coach shouldn't be staying injured/under performing players either way.

Really cannot decipher what you are trying to say.
Either way. Forget the coach/forget the club. In 2-3 years none of these kids will be with same Coach/Club.
WhatbI said above "work work work" on your individual technique is what will make the difference. If the coach is playing the kid 50% now... extra work will have him play 80 -90% because improvement cannot be ignored ored and the coach team wants to win.
You have to invest in YOURSELF as a player. The club/ coach is a resource for you to develop... but you the player have to invest in yourself. Whatever you give to football it will give to you. It is the most fair thing in the world, but you have to give it your time and love to be good

OP are you the only parent staying and watching closely. Even if you don’t say a word coaches notice this, and not in a position way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.

Or have your kid do extra work at home and improve. He needs a super power. They all have one. Mine was easy. Speed. If he is not a speedster make him the best Passer/best Touch/ best Dribbler on the team by working at home. The answer is not always leaving, complaining about coach to Director etc... sometimes the answer is putting in extra work. Especially when he is young enough (10) to become very very good at this game with just some extra practice on his own. If he were not playing, I agree move... but if he is playing half the game... Work work work. It won't go to waste even if you end up moving down the road he will be a more technical player able to back himself on any team.

Sure, but you're missing the point. The coach is being lazy and whether it's playing op kid or someone what the coach shouldn't be staying injured/under performing players either way.

The most you can do there is talk to the coach - and the correct order is kid first then parent. Like we are saying above though, one - kid may not really be better, and two - working harder outside the club to get better will always reward the player.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.

Or have your kid do extra work at home and improve. He needs a super power. They all have one. Mine was easy. Speed. If he is not a speedster make him the best Passer/best Touch/ best Dribbler on the team by working at home. The answer is not always leaving, complaining about coach to Director etc... sometimes the answer is putting in extra work. Especially when he is young enough (10) to become very very good at this game with just some extra practice on his own. If he were not playing, I agree move... but if he is playing half the game... Work work work. It won't go to waste even if you end up moving down the road he will be a more technical player able to back himself on any team.

Sure, but you're missing the point. The coach is being lazy and whether it's playing op kid or someone what the coach shouldn't be staying injured/under performing players either way.

Anonymous wrote:Always find these posts interesting.

Why would a coach not play his stronger and better players?

Favoritism, side money for privates, and laziness in not wanting to change lineups and positions on the field because that takes effort.

Anonymous wrote:Always find these posts interesting.

Why would a coach not play his stronger and better players?

At that age it’s to develop players because it shouldn’t just be about winning. A player can do as much as they can on their own to develop individual skills. But if they don’t get to use them under pressure in games, they’re not going to develop into actually good player on the field.

I came in heavy when I thought he was just being benched at u11, but, of hes getting 50% time, it's a different situation.

Basically he hasn't earned or won the right to start and he needs to ask the coach what it takes to do so. Now, the coach can be lazy, can have favorites etc. But if your kid gets out there 50% and is bossing the field it's hard to ignore. More likely he's not such an improvement the coach feels starting over another is a qualitative improvement for the team.

Always find these posts interesting.

Why would a coach not play his stronger and better players?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.

Or have your kid do extra work at home and improve. He needs a super power. They all have one. Mine was easy. Speed. If he is not a speedster make him the best Passer/best Touch/ best Dribbler on the team by working at home. The answer is not always leaving, complaining about coach to Director etc... sometimes the answer is putting in extra work. Especially when he is young enough (10) to become very very good at this game with just some extra practice on his own. If he were not playing, I agree move... but if he is playing half the game... Work work work. It won't go to waste even if you end up moving down the road he will be a more technical player able to back himself on any team.

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, he HAS gotten 50% playing time the majority of games (several games he has gotten less). But he always starts on the bench. I think psychologically it’s messing with him. He works just as hard as the others, attends all practices, plays multiple positions well, he is a good teammate (not ball hog), and he loves the game. My biggest fear is this will demoralize him and change how he feels about playing. Especially since he’s only 10.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad so many people agree that the unchanging lineup is inappropriate at this age. We will make a plan to provide feedback to the coach and have a contingency plan if he doesn’t take it well.

-OP

Talk in person and then follow up with an email about the conversation and cc they age group director on the email so they have a record of it and normally makes coaches take you more serious.

I will say, complaining about not starting but playing 50% won't go far even if that's dumb. The coach is doing the bare minimum to not get in trouble. Definitely have a conversation and then start looking at other clubs over winter and make the move mid year or have another team lined up before tryouts.