Anonymous wrote:I mean things like cut from a team, made a B team, did not get a great position they wanted, etc? How did those things turn out to have a positive impact on your child as they developed? I could use a little positivity or encourage for my youth Athlete

Ha ha, let me count the ways!

Kid #1: Yes, B team. That's a fair assessment of his abilities, but it still stung. Over time, he realized he was not a great soccer player, but he was a good runner. Competed well at high school level.
Kid #2: Inopportune growth spurt, horrible, toxic coach. I guess the nicest thing I could say is that it made her mentally strong and she escaped without grievous injury or eating disorder.

They're good kids. Good students. As they get older, you realize that sports don't last forever. They're supposed to be at least somewhat fun. If that ceases, time to really think about where they're putting their time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. That’s part of the deal. My dc loved a sport but was becoming too small for it. During the off season, he tried out for a new sport where size is less important and he flourished there. It’s all part of the process

+1

Same exact thing for my DS

which sport?

Anonymous wrote:Of course. That’s part of the deal. My dc loved a sport but was becoming too small for it. During the off season, he tried out for a new sport where size is less important and he flourished there. It’s all part of the process

+1

Same exact thing for my DS

Of course. That’s part of the deal. My dc loved a sport but was becoming too small for it. During the off season, he tried out for a new sport where size is less important and he flourished there. It’s all part of the process

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

Not yet but we have a kid who wants to. And we don’t really get involve with his “setbacks”. We’ve told him that the only thing you can control is your reaction to setbacks. His mindset has always been that so long as he believes in himself, no one else’s opinion of him should change that. We’ve also told him if you start to think that you’re the best player on your team, you need to move elsewhere. In other words, his base is discomfort, that is, he should always be working for something more. If you have long-term goals, setback are just little bumps in that journey.

We do our part to make sure he has non athletic hobbies if he needs an outlet if he gets injured, a robust circle of friends outside of his sport who has no idea or don’t really care how good he is at his sport, and high academic expectations.

I hope he makes it. Just remember that no one is the best at everything. His outside hobbies shouldn’t be competitive, they should be relaxing. And academic expectations should be doing him doing his best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

Mine is committed to play in college and I posted earlier about a setback of youth B team.
He was naturally talented in certain aspects of the game at the younger ages, but not so much of a standout that we thought the placement was egregious. It was a huge motivator for him, though, and by freshman year he had put in a ton of work in the weaker areas of his game, started on varsity over the kids who were on that A team, and continued that level of work ethic to find success.

The stories shared don't seem to be sour grapes to me; they are largely sharing setbacks with OP who presumably is trying to help their child through a setback of their own. I don't know why some people are being nasty.

At the end of the day, in a team sport(s), it comes down to coaches, and who he/she wants to be on the team. There are no measurable metrics, only the eye test. It is not like swimming, tennis, golf, or track with measurable results. Coaches will not be able to pick an inferior player over a better player in those individual sports. Parents that have kids in team sports should be aware of this and not complain when this happens.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

Mine is committed to play in college and I posted earlier about a setback of youth B team.
He was naturally talented in certain aspects of the game at the younger ages, but not so much of a standout that we thought the placement was egregious. It was a huge motivator for him, though, and by freshman year he had put in a ton of work in the weaker areas of his game, started on varsity over the kids who were on that A team, and continued that level of work ethic to find success.

The stories shared don't seem to be sour grapes to me; they are largely sharing setbacks with OP who presumably is trying to help their child through a setback of their own. I don't know why some people are being nasty.

DS is small for his age and plays with/against kids who are often significantly bigger than he is. He’s proven himself with his ciach and teammates but anytime he goes to a combine/showcase event coaches don’t give him a second glance. We know this will be the case but he continues to ask about putting himself out there. He works his ass off and I know that one day when he finally grows it’ll come together. The years of work and fighting through the dismissals will pay off eventually.

My kids play travel. We’re from a less wealthy town where not as many kids play club in the offseason. They usually finish near the bottom of the league, but they work hard and they’re capable of upsetting the big powerhouse teams.

Anecdotally, I’ve noticed that teams who aren’t used to setbacks have a harder time handling losses. If our kids beat them, they completely melt down. I’ve seen tears, curses, insults and slurs, shoves and chokeholds and tripping, parents screaming at refs, kids booting balls and throwing water bottles and flipping off parents on the sidelines, etc. The entitlement is unreal. Our kids don’t love losing either, but when it happens they shrug and move on.

Same with individual sports. My DS competes with a local kid who’s dominated ever since he was 7, mostly because very few kids compete in that sport until late middle school/HS. The other boy won Nationals and had Olympic aspirations, until last year when a random kid from his gym class also decided to start competing and began consistently beating him. Now he’s spiraling. He got injured earlier this fall from overtraining, and has stopped practicing. He’ll probably bounce back, but being wildly successful at such a young age never taught him how to deal with adversity.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

No of course not all sour grapes

Sports at any age need to be to learn cooperation, sportsmanship , and skills to be able to engage in the sport for years , not only with the goal of college or pro sports . Its need to be realistic. Kids have too much pressure now .
It wasn't the A or B teams that were hard to deal with, it was injuries that eventually won, and my daughter had to stop after being recruited for college volleyball.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

Not yet but we have a kid who wants to. And we don’t really get involve with his “setbacks”. We’ve told him that the only thing you can control is your reaction to setbacks. His mindset has always been that so long as he believes in himself, no one else’s opinion of him should change that. We’ve also told him if you start to think that you’re the best player on your team, you need to move elsewhere. In other words, his base is discomfort, that is, he should always be working for something more. If you have long-term goals, setback are just little bumps in that journey.

We do our part to make sure he has non athletic hobbies if he needs an outlet if he gets injured, a robust circle of friends outside of his sport who has no idea or don’t really care how good he is at his sport, and high academic expectations.

My DD started late in volleyball. Things might have been different without COVID, but it is not clear how much different. She loves her sport, but she is a bit awkward and not tall enough. The top clubs never gave her a chance (obviously they had better players to pick for their teams). She is unlikely to catch up with the others in her age group, and her height is anything but an advantage. She has no dreams of playing in college. She is still happy in her mid-tier club, being positive and making a lot of friends.

Does anyone have a child who went pro? Or at least play in college?

It sounds like you were all pushing your kids to be on the top club teams but the kids weren’t good enough. I’m sure there are options to play sports where it’s not competitive but some won’t accept that.

I think the failures are the most important part of youth sports. It teaches the kids resilience. It builds character.

My kids have all tried out for teams and not made them. Even ones they have been on in the past. They are better for it in the end. Sports are fun and all that, but these are the real life lessons. How to get through disappointment and how to pick up the pieces and move on to whatever the next thing is. That is invaluable life experience. Way better than always making the team and having everything go your way.