Anonymous wrote:married man for 26 years and i would have considered myself monogamous and had resided myself to being in a sexless marriage. wife stopped wanting sex after 4 kids, and i never stepped out. except i met my mistress last year and i couldn't help myself

How you think this is "typical" is beyond me....

Men are driven by either A) Sex B) Money C) Power
This isn't to say that they can't control these variables or keep them in check. The men who are driven by sex often just love women. They feel validated by women's flattery, flirtation and attention. Female attention has a direct correlation to their ego and can "make their day". These men often tend to be outgoing, charismatic and appealing but it doesn't necessarily mean that they cross the line.
The men who are driven by Money & Power don't usually cheat on their wives because they have that box checked. They don't care about female attention or rank it as high because they are focused on other things (or in my DH's case- he thinks most of these women are opportunistic themselves).

So no..most men don't cheat

I think this is the other way around. Women are the ones that get bored with sex. Men are happy to have one partner as long as the sex is frequent and at least somewhat enthusiastic.

Married 51 yo man here.Thirty one year anniversary last month. I have not so much as kissed another woman since October 9th, 1993. I had literally dozens of oppurtunities to stray over the years with young attractive women. But I did not. I was in Pharma sales and it was pretty wild among some colleagues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of monogamous married or in a relationship men. Vast majority are monogamous and don’t cheat

pp- not accurate. i was monogamous until i met my mistress last year. there are a majority of us married men who think we never will cheat until the opportunity arrises that you cannot control yourself. i have been in a sexless marriage and thought that is how it would be until the end. i had flirted with women in the past but never cheated, until a situation i couldn't say no to happened, and i was willing to cross boundaries

If you're in a sexless marriage, you get a pass.

OP asked about men who pour all their sexuality into their sexual relationship with their spouse. If there is no sexual relationship, there's nothing to really be monogamous to.

More interesting is if you are monogamous with your mistress. Would sleeping with your wife feel like cheating? Or with other women?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of monogamous married or in a relationship men. Vast majority are monogamous and don’t cheat

pp- not accurate. i was monogamous until i met my mistress last year. there are a majority of us married men who think we never will cheat until the opportunity arrises that you cannot control yourself. i have been in a sexless marriage and thought that is how it would be until the end. i had flirted with women in the past but never cheated, until a situation i couldn't say no to happened, and i was willing to cross boundaries

Deeply monogamous people don't flirt.

Think about the people you know, surely you can come up with several devoted husband's, I know I can. Some men really adore their wives to the point they do not have eyes for anyone else and it's not due to any of the odd reasons given here.

I doubt mine would ever cheat for several reasons, but I wouldn't label him as deeply monogamous either

Anonymous wrote:Lots of monogamous married or in a relationship men. Vast majority are monogamous and don’t cheat

pp- not accurate. i was monogamous until i met my mistress last year. there are a majority of us married men who think we never will cheat until the opportunity arrises that you cannot control yourself. i have been in a sexless marriage and thought that is how it would be until the end. i had flirted with women in the past but never cheated, until a situation i couldn't say no to happened, and i was willing to cross boundaries

What’s the difference between “deeply monogamous” and monogamous.

Seems pretty binary: you are only in a close relationship with one person for a long time.

Lots of monogamous married or in a relationship men. Vast majority are monogamous and don’t cheat

Anonymous wrote:I think I qualify as "deeply monogamous." I enjoy being faithful to my wife; there is something hot about having all your sexual energy focused on one person. There are definitely men like this, OP.

+1

I think I qualify as "deeply monogamous." I enjoy being faithful to my wife; there is something hot about having all your sexual energy focused on one person. There are definitely men like this, OP.

married man for 26 years and i would have considered myself monogamous and had resided myself to being in a sexless marriage. wife stopped wanting sex after 4 kids, and i never stepped out. except i met my mistress last year and i couldn't help myself

I've been happily married for a long time and never cheated. The temptations and fantasies have been there but that's about it. My parents were married 65 years so I had a good role model. Wrecking my life at this point in time would be insane.

I think it's one thing to be non-monogamous in mind, but monogamous in practice. Men I think are naturally attracted to and curious about other women (women probably to some degree as well). It's what you choose to do with those desires that makes someone monogamous, and I do believe that many men and women do respect their marriage vows.

I made it to 46 without being cheated on, imagine that.

And yes I’m sure.

There are many decent men out there but they don’t spent time on this forum.

-DW