Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 16:09     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
^ know
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 16:08     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. People on here are so flippant about divorce and it is so very stupid on so many levels


I don't think the individuals who are in the marriages ARE flippant about divorcing.

It is easy for a stranger on the internet who can see only one facet of a marriage or human being to scream "DIVORCE!" but I doubt the people on the other side of the questions are taking divorce lightly. Otherwise there would be zero married people on this board.

I know a few people that I think should divorce - but they agonize over the decision to divorce - even though there may be emotional abuse, physical abuse, or affairs. It isn't like stop drop and roll - people actually do consider the best path forward.


Well, obviously. But the point is that people on here- I suspect often divorced people looking to justify their choices- can get very aggressive advocating for divorce.

Also, why are you opining on other people’s marriages? Reality is that marriages are a business relationship and a child rearing relationship as much as a romantic and emotional pairing, and they are marathons not sprints. You are ridiculous to be forming judgments about situations you never very little about.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 14:46     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:No way. People on here are so flippant about divorce and it is so very stupid on so many levels


I don't think the individuals who are in the marriages ARE flippant about divorcing.

It is easy for a stranger on the internet who can see only one facet of a marriage or human being to scream "DIVORCE!" but I doubt the people on the other side of the questions are taking divorce lightly. Otherwise there would be zero married people on this board.

I know a few people that I think should divorce - but they agonize over the decision to divorce - even though there may be emotional abuse, physical abuse, or affairs. It isn't like stop drop and roll - people actually do consider the best path forward.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 08:59     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
No way. People on here are so flippant about divorce and it is so very stupid on so many levels
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 07:53     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah after years of this, plus serious financial mistakes and denying of said mistakes, I'm done. Get out while you can, OP.


Op, oh yeah, that too. Financial mistakes that he won’t admit. He’s a small man in so many ways. But hid it with bravado when we dated. I can’t leave for a few years, but I’m planning


This is my DH but much more extreme. He also hid it very well for years. A small man, without a spine, who hides behind his wife.


Omfg me too. I divorced mine and the other side is glorious. You will regret not leaving sooner, I promise.


Yes it’s time to go. He will make you sick if you don’t get out. Don’t allow this to happen to you and go live a happy a$$hole free life.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 06:40     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Defensiveness and lying is not gaslighting


Gaslighting and passive aggressive. Two most wrongly and overused phrases.


Does it matter what it’s called?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 06:19     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah after years of this, plus serious financial mistakes and denying of said mistakes, I'm done. Get out while you can, OP.


Op, oh yeah, that too. Financial mistakes that he won’t admit. He’s a small man in so many ways. But hid it with bravado when we dated. I can’t leave for a few years, but I’m planning


Excellent for you OP! 👍🏽

I hope you continue planning because your husband’s current mind games speak more on what kind of person he is rather than on you + your character.

Do not forget this.
Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2024 06:08     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
Anonymous wrote:Defensiveness and lying is not gaslighting


Gaslighting and passive aggressive. Two most wrongly and overused phrases.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2024 21:33     Subject: My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z
My mom is like this. If I have to communicate something important with her (like dates for something or something that is going on) I do so via email or text. That way when she tries the "that's not what you said" or "you never told me that" I can refer to the messages. It took a bit but after awhile her behavior drastically changed because I had proof when I called her out.