Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:43
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
I didn’t hear about the incident until after my nephew blamed my daughter. I haven’t actually spoken to him or my SIL/BIL about it at all yet.
So you don't know if they are actually accusing your dd?
Yes I do because DHs brother told him his wife is freaking out. My MIL also said she was upset about it when my nephew told her.
But I have not personally spoken to her.
We aren’t super close and really only chat at family gatherings.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:40
Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
You all got too worked out about this. S* happens. Looks like adults overreacted and kids proceeded to blame each other to not get in trouble. Blaming each other to be a perv is not exactly family friendly. Teach your DD to lock the door is about all you can do at this point. Or she could tell grandma to occupy the 9 yo. Or tell everyone that she's using the shower upstairs and nobody can go there. Sure you can figure out reasonable solutions instead of "she'll never go to grandma's house!".
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:39
Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
If SIL says anything you tell her he deliberately entered a bathroom knowing a shower was running. Even if on the very longshot she had called out (as you say the bathroom is on a separate floor), wouldn’t you open the door slightly and call in to ask what they wanted, or at least announce yourself/make noise as you barged in? Now it’s safe to say the cousin relationship - and likely a family one as well - is forever tainted by the accusation. I hope they realize that.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:33
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
She did shout at him. She admitted this.
She thinks his intentions were to spy on her while nude. He was hiding in the smaller room with the toilet right next to the bathroom when she came out of the shower. She said doesn’t know when he entered the bathroom.
From her perspective it wasn’t an incident where he just accidentally walked in on her. Which would be difficult since he’d hear the shower running and know the bathroom was occupied. This bathroom is also upstairs and out of the way compared to the rest of the house. If he had to use the restroom there is a half bathroom downstairs.
This all seems pretty far fetched. My 9 yo totally could have run into the little bathroom without even noticing her and then felt “stuck” like he couldn’t come back out once he had peed and then realized she was showering.
I think you all need to realize this is a mistake all around and let it go.
Sure, why don't you go talk to SIL?
NP
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:32
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
She did shout at him. She admitted this.
She thinks his intentions were to spy on her while nude. He was hiding in the smaller room with the toilet right next to the bathroom when she came out of the shower. She said doesn’t know when he entered the bathroom.
From her perspective it wasn’t an incident where he just accidentally walked in on her. Which would be difficult since he’d hear the shower running and know the bathroom was occupied. This bathroom is also upstairs and out of the way compared to the rest of the house. If he had to use the restroom there is a half bathroom downstairs.
So he was lying in wait in the little water closet. For hours? Minutes? Just waiting for the moment she was in the shower to strike? This story is getting more ridiculous.
What's your problem, Colombo?
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:23
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
She did shout at him. She admitted this.
She thinks his intentions were to spy on her while nude. He was hiding in the smaller room with the toilet right next to the bathroom when she came out of the shower. She said doesn’t know when he entered the bathroom.
From her perspective it wasn’t an incident where he just accidentally walked in on her. Which would be difficult since he’d hear the shower running and know the bathroom was occupied. This bathroom is also upstairs and out of the way compared to the rest of the house. If he had to use the restroom there is a half bathroom downstairs.
This all seems pretty far fetched. My 9 yo totally could have run into the little bathroom without even noticing her and then felt “stuck” like he couldn’t come back out once he had peed and then realized she was showering.
I think you all need to realize this is a mistake all around and let it go.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:19
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
She did shout at him. She admitted this.
She thinks his intentions were to spy on her while nude. He was hiding in the smaller room with the toilet right next to the bathroom when she came out of the shower. She said doesn’t know when he entered the bathroom.
From her perspective it wasn’t an incident where he just accidentally walked in on her. Which would be difficult since he’d hear the shower running and know the bathroom was occupied. This bathroom is also upstairs and out of the way compared to the rest of the house. If he had to use the restroom there is a half bathroom downstairs.
So he was lying in wait in the little water closet. For hours? Minutes? Just waiting for the moment she was in the shower to strike? This story is getting more ridiculous.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:18
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
That’s why she needs to be told to lock the door and he needs to be told to knock before opening a door and everyone agrees to move past this.
You really can’t get past it if the SIL is accusing DD of purposely exposing herself to her kid. There really isn’t a way to move past that on either side.
If SIL truly believes that’s what happened, she can’t let her kid around her anymore. And if my DD were accused of that by an adult, I don’t think I could let my DD around that adult/kid anymore either.
The DD is accusing the kid of being a perv. Same difference.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:13
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
She did shout at him. She admitted this.
She thinks his intentions were to spy on her while nude. He was hiding in the smaller room with the toilet right next to the bathroom when she came out of the shower. She said doesn’t know when he entered the bathroom.
From her perspective it wasn’t an incident where he just accidentally walked in on her. Which would be difficult since he’d hear the shower running and know the bathroom was occupied. This bathroom is also upstairs and out of the way compared to the rest of the house. If he had to use the restroom there is a half bathroom downstairs.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:11
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.
Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.
That’s why she needs to be told to lock the door and he needs to be told to knock before opening a door and everyone agrees to move past this.
You really can’t get past it if the SIL is accusing DD of purposely exposing herself to her kid. There really isn’t a way to move past that on either side.
If SIL truly believes that’s what happened, she can’t let her kid around her anymore. And if my DD were accused of that by an adult, I don’t think I could let my DD around that adult/kid anymore either.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:09
Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Maybe she was singing or some thing in the shower and he thought she called him in? Otherwise the chances that are 16-year-old girl wants to expose herself to a nine-year-old boy seem much slimmer to me then the chances that a nine-year-old boy would be curious about seeing a naked girl. Or maybe he went in there absentmindedly and then froze like a deer in the headlights. Who knows? Your sister-in-law sounds crazy if she thinks your daughter is some kind of child sex pervert, and if it were my daughter, I would make sure she was never alone with the sister-in-law or the cousin.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:08
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
I didn’t hear about the incident until after my nephew blamed my daughter. I haven’t actually spoken to him or my SIL/BIL about it at all yet.
I don’t believe you. You said this: My daughter felt like her space and right to privacy was invaded. She’s only 16.
I highly doubt she felt so strongly and didn’t run to you crying about it right away if that was true.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:07
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
I didn’t hear about the incident until after my nephew blamed my daughter. I haven’t actually spoken to him or my SIL/BIL about it at all yet.
So you don't know if they are actually accusing your dd?
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:05
Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.
I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.
Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?
Why was the door not locked though?
I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
I didn’t hear about the incident until after my nephew blamed my daughter. I haven’t actually spoken to him or my SIL/BIL about it at all yet.
Anonymous
10/14/2024 17:04
Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Does your daughter have siblings? Sounds like she’s not used to having other kids in her space and learning to lock the door for privacy. Lesson learned.
She has a younger sister. She usually does lock the door. She can’t remember if she did or not but house is old and the door often will not lock fully if you don’t pay attention.