Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So that's data, though it's not a clear cause-effect. The thoughtless statement, though, causes more harm than good obviously. Especially for people who left difficult marriages for good reasons. What a stupid thing to say. Don't let it deter you, op.

This. Educated people are more likely to marry and their kids go on to college... but there's loads and loads of divorced lawyers, doctors, college professors, etc. I'm sure their kids don't have major issues going to college.

Yes, they actually do. Of course many still go to college, but there is an impact. If you live in a high cost of living city, carrying two separate households, even as a lawyer, doctor, professional absolutely makes a difference. Plus divorce and the custody issues that often result (I’ll add that the more recent 50/50 presumption for custody doesn’t help) are considered ACE- adverse childhood experiences- which correlate with increased mental health issues and decreased educational outcomes. Of course people on here will come on screaming they know of such anecdote or the other, but these studies are clear.

Why do people automatically assume that the quote is correct? OP displayed poor reasoning skills. I’d assume they didn’t hear what they say they did and are just getting up in arms over a perceived slight.

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

This is not a logical leap. Please tell me you haven’t articulated this nonsense to your kid. You need to show some logic here.

^marital status, not marital statement.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you that it was a thoughtless statement, OP. Even though it's truthful in the statistical sense, it is also hurtful to hear for those who can't make their marriages work for whatever reason. I don't get what he or she was trying to accomplish in saying this. Maybe this person wants to become a marriage counselor instead of an admissions officer.

This. It was a thoughtless and unhelpful comment to make as part of a presentation at a college visit. It is not discrimination or double standards, but it would be a hurtful thing for a divorced parent to hear in that context. Parents generally are already dealing with plenty of guilt and concern about the emotional, etc, fallout of divorce on their kids, even if divorce was the better option. Not sure why a college rep would include that kind of statistical statement for a roomful of people who couldn’t at that point do anything about their marital statement.

Even though it’s not discriminatory, it’s rude, and I’m sorry you felt angry and hurt by it, OP.

Anonymous wrote:You seem like a drama queen. Name the school. If they're willing to say it publicly then name it.

This.

ONE person at ONE school said something and we don’t know if OP’s recall is correct.

You seem like a drama queen. Name the school. If they're willing to say it publicly then name it.

I would’ve said, “I’ve never been married so should I go get married quickly so my kid will have a better chance?”

I always heard that it was the educational background of the mother that correlates with their kid’s academic achievements.

"Statistics are pretty irrefutable" is the dumbest comment I have ever seen on DCUM.

There is MUCH more than simply intact marriages that predicts students going to college.

Apparently the JD Vancers are having another boozy breakfast while trolling this forum.

I agree with you that it was a thoughtless statement, OP. Even though it's truthful in the statistical sense, it is also hurtful to hear for those who can't make their marriages work for whatever reason. I don't get what he or she was trying to accomplish in saying this. Maybe this person wants to become a marriage counselor instead of an admissions officer.

I think because the AO or presenter didn't elaborate on what they meant, the OP is hung up on the "marital status" part of it. Its not that which is important, it is what most unbroken homes benefit from, which broken homes mostly don't have. Stability, emotional, psychological, social, financial (ok not always any of these things, but mostly yes).

It's not discrimination but it's an awful thing to say to a senior.

Also, "staying married" is wrong. Plenty of married people in broken but "intact" homes wrecked their kids.

Anonymous wrote:So that's data, though it's not a clear cause-effect. The thoughtless statement, though, causes more harm than good obviously. Especially for people who left difficult marriages for good reasons. What a stupid thing to say. Don't let it deter you, op.

This. Educated people are more likely to marry and their kids go on to college... but there's loads and loads of divorced lawyers, doctors, college professors, etc. I'm sure their kids don't have major issues going to college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact you used the word “ woke” in your OP makes me think you have an agenda.
Take a step back.

I do - which is I get it, you won't be making comments on gender or race, but family status apparently is not in the protected crowd.

Legally, it isn’t. So you’re just stating the obvious.

I don’t think this is as big a deal as you think it is. You may have gotten your feelings hurt, but this isn’t the federal case you think it is.

I'm not looking to sue the school just call them out on their bullsh&t double standards.

How is posting here doing that?

From my understanding, once the child turns 18, the higher earner parent has no obligation to pay for child support or any contribution to college, and thus children of divorced families may likely get less financial support from parents when the parents are not amiable and bitter towards each other.