Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 22:00     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:Why is there such secrecy? This is an anonymous forum. What is the concern?


+1
Infidelity?
Child abuse?
Compulsive gambling?
He spent all your resources on hummel figurines for his gay partner?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:56     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. I’m sorry you’re going through it, OP. But I don’t really understand vague cries for help like this. I have two friends who do this. They will text that something is awful and they need support but say that they don’t want to give details. So all I can say is, “I’m sorry something is hard right now.” I don’t get asking for support but not telling anyone what’s going on.


This. Especially on an anonymous forum. But I also don't understand the people who post on FB "prayers needed" and then refuse all other info. What am I praying for?


Because the vultures on this site will glob on to the issues and will argue whether she’s allowed to have this reaction, will start telling her it’s first world problems, try having a real problem, get divorced, I have it worse…blah blah blah.

I’m sorry OP. I like the idea of testing positive for Covid. It really is the get of jail free card right now. And see if you can go somewhere to just be. Even if it’s with your thoughts, maybe get to a space where you can indulge them to the exclusion of everything and everyone else.


+1

Sometimes it's ok to lie. I agree with PP. Tell everyone you don't feel well and have to go to Urgent Care. Then tell them you have Covid and most quarantine at the Four Seasons for a few days. Find a good book and hunker down away from everyone!
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:53     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:Great to hear your husband is supporting you.

Thank goodness for him! Thank goodness for all men.


Yeah, her lying cheating husband is supportive of her not leaving him. Yeah, him?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:50     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly having family doctor prescribe lorazepam gets me through the too much hitting at once moments in life. Only had to do it twice. Combine with getting therapy set up and other non medication routes to getting more regulated again.


This is seriously a terrible idea.

OP, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get through it. Dulling the emotions and feelings won't make them go away. It will take away your ability to feel confident that you can get through it. You can.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:50     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Is your spouse also struggling with what is know known.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:46     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Those of you who want the gory details just love drama. You don't need those details to help calm op down. Just let her vent. Stop being so controlling just because you're addicted to the nasty stuff.

Op, I'm sorry you're going through this. Time will help. Just think how small this will feel in a year. It will.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:45     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no one I can talk to right now. I’m not feeling like I’m going to harm myself or anything, but I’m incredibly stressed, angry, sad, devastated, and trying to hold it together emotionally.

Exactly a week ago I received life-altering news. The first couple days I was in shock, then I spent the next couple days having anxiety attacks. I was finally feeling a little better yesterday, but then something happened, unrelated but still difficult, and now I’m back at square one.

I’m so, so exhausted. I have an event to attend today that I can’t miss. I have kids for whom I have to put on a happy face. My husband is being supportive but that only helps so much.

My stomach is constantly in a knot. I have a perpetual headache. Walks have been helping, but they also leave me nothing to do but to think too much. I have no interest in escaping into a podcast or music. It’s just background noise to my inner thoughts.

I just want to run away, but I can’t, because everyone needs something from me. And anyway, my problems and thoughts would just follow me. Does anyone have any advice? How do I just take it day by day? I do start with a therapist but not until late next week.


You can actually run away. You can. Walk away from everyone else's needs even if only for a couple of days. Book a stay in a cabin, at the Ritz, at your bff's house. Whatever you need to do to literally leave it all behind for a couple of days of breathing room. Whatever that needs to look like for you.

It just feels like I can’t! Venting… maybe someone will have advise…

This event today, I want to skip it so bad. It’s a gathering at a friend’s house. I had to skip out on the last event she hosted. We have a mutual friend who is hosting again NEXT weekend, I feel like if I can’t attend tonight, she will be offended and wonder why I always cancel on her but never our other friends. She texted just last night telling me how excited she is to see me. I am not ready to tell anyone about this yet, if at all, so I can’t say I’m going through some things and just need a break. Making up something yet again feels so disingenuous and hurtful. I know I can drop in for an hour or two, but I hate it.


You're either willing to change or you're not.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:45     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no one I can talk to right now. I’m not feeling like I’m going to harm myself or anything, but I’m incredibly stressed, angry, sad, devastated, and trying to hold it together emotionally.

Exactly a week ago I received life-altering news. The first couple days I was in shock, then I spent the next couple days having anxiety attacks. I was finally feeling a little better yesterday, but then something happened, unrelated but still difficult, and now I’m back at square one.

I’m so, so exhausted. I have an event to attend today that I can’t miss. I have kids for whom I have to put on a happy face. My husband is being supportive but that only helps so much.

My stomach is constantly in a knot. I have a perpetual headache. Walks have been helping, but they also leave me nothing to do but to think too much. I have no interest in escaping into a podcast or music. It’s just background noise to my inner thoughts.

I just want to run away, but I can’t, because everyone needs something from me. And anyway, my problems and thoughts would just follow me. Does anyone have any advice? How do I just take it day by day? I do start with a therapist but not until late next week.


You can actually run away. You can. Walk away from everyone else's needs even if only for a couple of days. Book a stay in a cabin, at the Ritz, at your bff's house. Whatever you need to do to literally leave it all behind for a couple of days of breathing room. Whatever that needs to look like for you.


This. Firm boundaries which in your normal state would've been unthinkable. Say no to everything and say you're sorry but you're going through family stuff and don't explain.

That also means boundaries for yourself. Allow your time to digest, process and grieve. Set aside time for yourself when you do only that - you may need to physically remove yourself for privacy, or not answer your phone. Cocoon. That's what I do.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:41     Subject: Re:It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
OP just tell us what’s going on
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 21:17     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry.

It might help to understand the type of life altering news you are dealing with? Divorce? Terminal Illness? Financial? You or someone else?

Not divorce, but it indirectly relates to my marriage. I doubt we will even separate over this, but it’s definitely something shocking and unexpected and which we will have to work through.


An affair?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 17:52     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous. You are not telling us the full story.


It is kind of ridiculous. Given that this is anonymous.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 17:49     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Why is there such secrecy? This is an anonymous forum. What is the concern?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 17:48     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
This is ridiculous. You are not telling us the full story.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 17:44     Subject: Re:It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
If it's marriage related but not worth separating over, is it really that big of a deal, or you're saying it's not worth separating over but maybe it really is a dealbreaker? Hard to give advice without knowing the situation. You can always lie and say you are sick if you want to back out of other committments.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2024 16:36     Subject: It’s been the worst week of my life. Can I vent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. I’m sorry you’re going through it, OP. But I don’t really understand vague cries for help like this. I have two friends who do this. They will text that something is awful and they need support but say that they don’t want to give details. So all I can say is, “I’m sorry something is hard right now.” I don’t get asking for support but not telling anyone what’s going on.


This. Especially on an anonymous forum. But I also don't understand the people who post on FB "prayers needed" and then refuse all other info. What am I praying for?


Because the vultures on this site will glob on to the issues and will argue whether she’s allowed to have this reaction, will start telling her it’s first world problems, try having a real problem, get divorced, I have it worse…blah blah blah.

I’m sorry OP. I like the idea of testing positive for Covid. It really is the get of jail free card right now. And see if you can go somewhere to just be. Even if it’s with your thoughts, maybe get to a space where you can indulge them to the exclusion of everything and everyone else.


Well that’s fair and very true. People are cruel on DCUM.

On the other hand, my friends who do this in real life are almost always trying to gin up a lot of sympathy and drama over a situation that they know wouldn’t garner much sympathy if they told us the actual details. So it feels a bit manipulative.