Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

What virtue is it signaling? I think for most people it's just about their kids having too much sh!t

I wonder if this is a city living vs suburban living thing - where we live, most of the kids live in single family homes with basements. Space isn't an issue. I can 100% understand no gift parties if you live in an apartment, condo, or small home without space. that said, the last few gifts my kid got were some books, a t-shirt, a wall hanging, and some cool art supplies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

Maybe not a full barrier but birthday gifts for my daughter’s friends are a financial burden for us. I’m a single mom. Whatever money we spend on birthday party gifts is money we can’t spend on something else that month. Not like our mortgage payment! But tickets to Cox Farms or getting lunch at Chipotle after soccer practice— we have to skip those things if we buy birthday presents for friends because it all comes out of the same pot of money in my budget.

You are never required to bring a gift to any birthday party, I've never seen an invitation that says "please bring a gift". And if buying a gift is a financial burden, why not have your children make a nice card or bring a small craft. Gifts don't have to be store bought or expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 9 and 11 and have been invited to one no gifts party ever between the two of them. Fortunately now they're at the small party stage. It would be sad to have a 5 person party and not get gifts! At these ages, they pick out gifts for each other and it's really sweet.

your kids sound like greedy little pigs with such a focus on gifts at those ages.

Agreed

This is such a bizarre take on what I posted. Let me restate using different words so that you can understand what I said, and please I would love for you to elaborate and tell me why you think my children are, in your words, "greedy little pigs".

My kids have only been invited to one party that stated it was "no gifts" and we complied by bringing just a card and a bracelet my daughter made for her friend.

Since 1st grade or so, both kids have had and been invited to small (maybe 3-5 kids) parties. The small parties are also not "no gift" parties - actually, there is never any mention of gifts on the invitation, which is pretty typical for invitations in general. My kids like picking out gifts for their friends and when they've had parties, it's been clear that their friends have picked out gifts for them, which I think is really sweet.

Now please explain how any of these kids are greedy little pigs, which I think is just a disgusting phrase to use when you're describing children, by the way.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. It is not a thing in my circles.

We usually have huge parties with adults and kids, hot lunch/dinner served, some kind of entertainer/entertainment, goody bags, siblings invited, beer and wine for adults.

So there is no talk of "no gifts" or "get a can of soup" on the invitation. Also, minimum cost for each gift is at least $25.

There are parties like this "in my circle" and it's no gifts or small gifts.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. It is not a thing in my circles.

We usually have huge parties with adults and kids, hot lunch/dinner served, some kind of entertainer/entertainment, goody bags, siblings invited, beer and wine for adults.

So there is no talk of "no gifts" or "get a can of soup" on the invitation. Also, minimum cost for each gift is at least $25.

What does having a hot lunch and goody bags have to do with "no gifts?" I do all the above for parties and prefer to do no gifts.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. It is not a thing in my circles.

We usually have huge parties with adults and kids, hot lunch/dinner served, some kind of entertainer/entertainment, goody bags, siblings invited, beer and wine for adults.

So there is no talk of "no gifts" or "get a can of soup" on the invitation. Also, minimum cost for each gift is at least $25.

LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

Also not haughty virtual signaling — my child has autism and will focus ONLY on the gifts if you bring them to the party. Won’t care about her friends or the bounce house or whatever else is going on. When I ask you to not bring gifts, will you please just not bring gifts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

Maybe not a full barrier but birthday gifts for my daughter’s friends are a financial burden for us. I’m a single mom. Whatever money we spend on birthday party gifts is money we can’t spend on something else that month. Not like our mortgage payment! But tickets to Cox Farms or getting lunch at Chipotle after soccer practice— we have to skip those things if we buy birthday presents for friends because it all comes out of the same pot of money in my budget.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

Can't you imagine that it's not virtue signalling for some of us? I don't hide our spending or materialism that presents in other ways, or pretend to be above consumerism. I just don't have the space to accommodate tons of additional gifts. We live in a tiny space -- my kids need to carefully consider what they take in. Maybe you'd prefer we accept all gifts and then just return or donate the ones we don't want? We could do that, but if I went to a party with a gift and found out that was the strategy I guess I'd be pretty annoyed. I'd rather just avoid all of that. And plus, my kids don't really care because to them birthday parties don't mean piles of gifts from friends.

Anonymous wrote:I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

I really don't think a birthday gift for a child is a financial barrier for most people. Agree with PP that this id haughty virtue signaling.

No gifts is just stupid.

I do no gifts for my kids because we don’t have room for all the random extra stuff + I don’t want that to be a financial barrier for anyone. My kids have zero problem with this. I hate when parties require gifts because we don’t have time for that. We just do gift card, which is fine, but that’s another stop when I’m already hauling my kid to a party place on the weekend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so used to birthday parties being “no gifts” that I usually forget to bring one if the invitation doesn’t specify.

Same!

I’m also guilty of this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so used to birthday parties being “no gifts” that I usually forget to bring one if the invitation doesn’t specify.

Same!