A regular thing in highschool when they can have a job and pay for it.

At your daughter's age I might treat her once a year maybe for her birthday etc

My daughter has auburn hair too and I've always discouraged her from coloring her beautiful hair color! My stylist told her the same thing so I hope it sunk in.

The only thing is maybe getting some face framing single strand highlights.

Over 18 on their own dime

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until they are done growing. Hair chemicals can really mess with the endocrine system. Or just do henna

What chemicals are you talking about specifically?

Think about. Why can't pregnant women color their hair? Because it's toxic. Sure, a child is less vulnerable than a fetus but still.

https://www.rutgers.edu/news/chemicals-hair-and-beauty-products-impact-hormones-especially-during-pregnancy

More details on the chemical structures:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9214764/

Here's a clip about how it can affect endocrine system in kids:
Endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs) are exogenous agents that interact with estrogen receptors or estrogen signaling pathways, disrupting the physiological function of the endocrine system and the development of the mammary tissue. This heterogeneous group of chemicals includes parabens, bisphenols, and phthalates, widely used substances in cosmetic and personal care products, and are present in hair dyes.127,128 EDCs can be transported from the bloodstream to breast milk via passive diffusion and are then ingested by infants through breast-feeding. The hormone levels in the infants can be affected, and the growth of their germ cells can be disrupted.129 Exposure to hair dyes containing EDCs in childhood may increase breast cancer risk, by lowering the age at menarche but most likely without affecting breast density.130 Indeed, a study by Llanos et al.131 demonstrated that the use of hair dyes containing EDCs is correlated with an elevated risk of estrogen receptor-positive breast cancer. Adolescent use of hair dyes containing EDCs may increase the risk of premenopausal breast cancer.1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until they are done growing. Hair chemicals can really mess with the endocrine system. Or just do henna

What chemicals are you talking about specifically?

Think about. Why can't pregnant women color their hair? Because it's toxic. Sure, a child is less vulnerable than a fetus but still.

https://www.rutgers.edu/news/chemicals-hair-and-beauty-products-impact-hormones-especially-during-pregnancy

More details on the chemical structures:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9214764/

I would if it’s not crazy expensive. I do mine at home but I’d pay for my kid. I don’t see the issue.

Are you guys really paying $300 for highlights for tween girls? How often?

12 seems quite young. I’d wait until at least Highschool. Could she do the sprays that wash out in the meantime now and then? The chemicals are pretty harsh for highlights.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks!
We actually go to an organic salon (they cover my jet black hair that is coming in gray) much better than the expensive salons I used to go to.

But yeah, I think you are all right. I will wait until she can’t live without it.

Please share name of this salon!
I need this! I have so much gray hair and my natural hair color is dark brown/ black. I have to color at home every 4 weeks, as it is just too much to spend at the salon.

TIA

For all you saying, "when they can afford it," just know that your kid will go buy some crap and CVS and do tons of damage to their hair. I'd rather take her to the salon and have it done well.

Anonymous wrote:No chance. I’ve seen some very young girls in my salon and it’s absurd. They are very obnoxious and entitled. I’m embarrassed for their mothers.

+1. I feel the same about the expensive fake nails. Yes, highlights can be subtle and tasteful, but that is rarely how the teens do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get that you are worried about the cost, and these days lord knows you should be. But I desperately wanted a perm at that age (the 80s!) and my mother wouldn't let me get one and I'm still mad about it, lol.

I think by 13 or 14 it's appropriate for girls to become interested in things like highlights. Just figure out how it can be done more affordably and have a talk about setting a yearly budget for it. I wouldn't take a teenager to the expensive stylist who does my highlights, but I might let her go to Hair Cuttery a couple of times per year.

You should be grateful to your mother for protecting your health and her wallet (to buy you other things, perhaps). No minor is entitled to a hair treatment, and those of the 80s were much more toxic than they are today. Are you also the sort of person who claims that Homecoming is significant event in a teen's life and you absolutely want your daughter attending it? A poster wrote that the other day on DCUM.

Really, are these the ridiculous things adults resent their parents for? What about actual abuse? If you're going to come back and pretend you're not that mad about it, then you shouldn't have joked about it in the first place. Some of us had actual problems with our parents.

Pp here.

You should stop running your mouth. I suffered horrible abuse and neglect for years. My mother never once “protected my health.” Quite the opposite. She wouldn’t let me get my hair done because she was afraid I’d be prettier than she was and steal her boyfriend. That paranoia started when I was 11. And caused her to get violent often. So take your assumptions, desperate need to type away at people on the internet, and inclination to derail OP’s thread with this BS elsewhere.

NP. First I am so sorry. I am sure your mother’s awful behavior was difficult to live with and harder to put behind you as an adult.

But I think your story goes to the PP’s point. Saying “no” to your teen’s highlights will not lead to the teen having a bad relationship with you when she is an adult. Your problem was a jealous insecure mother and you are rightly upset about that. The hair has really nothing to do with it.

Anonymous wrote:Wait until they are done growing. Hair chemicals can really mess with the endocrine system. Or just do henna

What chemicals are you talking about specifically?

If you get balayage type highlights and not too many of them it usually grows out pretty nicely without needing to go back for awhile

My DD, 12, wanted them recently. I told her no but told her to chat with her stylist. His response: Not until you are 14 and can
pay for it yourself! BIG tip for the stylist that day!