Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:27
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Anonymous wrote:I had a similar issue as a teenager and my 16 yo struggles with it too. She has sleep apnea (only partially corrected) and will sleep through a blaring alarm. If a kid is otherwise responsible in general I’d try to not get too mad about this, as it’s mostly a physical issue.
Get rid of the 530 alarm. Frankly I’d get rid of the 6 too and get her up and out of bed into the shower at 620/630 right before you leave. The snooze cycle makes it harder to get up.
Do you have any older neighborhood teens who drive? Maybe you can get a few on the roster willing to pick her up for gas money and make her responsible for that cost. Ask in your neighborhood group. My daughter is a driver and takes her sister plus another friend so on rare days I have to leave early her sister makes sure she’s up.
I think this poster has the right idea. Give up on the 5:30 and 6 alarms; set one for 6:20 instead. That alone may make it easier for her to get up because she will have had more uninterrrupted sleep. I used to make my daughter be vertical" before I left her room -- and sometimes she'd still crawl back into bed anyway.
Other option is to totally leave it to her. I found that when she knew I'm wasn't going to wake her, she managed to get out of bed and to school on time.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:27
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:School start times are too early for this age group, which really needs more sleep in the morning. It sucks, but there is a lot of good advice on this thread including how to implement an earlier bedtime and how OP needs to fully wake up DD before leaving for work.
I agree more sleep is needed. It would be perfect world if school starts at 9 am. Getting to bed "early" is impossible. After school activities and school work sometimes leave DS up very late.
It's not "impossible"-it's just not easy. But agree with those who said that the DD has lost the privilege of getting up at her own pace, and that you can look into moving her bedtime back earlier since she's struggling. Not getting to school on time is not acceptable. All clothes should be laid out ready to be worn the night before and bags should be packed, and you should check all of this is done before any post-dinner treats/screen time is allowed. We have had that rule in our household since our kids were in elementary school, as it saves so much time in the morning.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:24
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Missing school = she gets a huge privilege taken away
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:20
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
We got our kid multiple alarms including one that rolls on wheels all over the room. There are also phone alarms that make you complete tasks — like taking a certain number of steps or doing math problems — before they will shut off.
Re: night sweats, they’re probably harmless but do make sure your pediatrician knows and has ruled out possible endocrine disorders — fwiw, our kid was having a ton of night sweats in the months before full onset of type 1 diabetes (out of the blue, no family history, kid was a healthy athlete, etc).
Re: night sweats, they’re probably harmless but do make sure your pediatrician knows and has ruled out possible endocrine disorders — fwiw, our kid was having a ton of night sweats in the months before full onset of type 1 diabetes (out of the blue, no family history, kid was a healthy athlete, etc).
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:19
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
I had a similar issue as a teenager and my 16 yo struggles with it too. She has sleep apnea (only partially corrected) and will sleep through a blaring alarm. If a kid is otherwise responsible in general I’d try to not get too mad about this, as it’s mostly a physical issue.
Get rid of the 530 alarm. Frankly I’d get rid of the 6 too and get her up and out of bed into the shower at 620/630 right before you leave. The snooze cycle makes it harder to get up.
Do you have any older neighborhood teens who drive? Maybe you can get a few on the roster willing to pick her up for gas money and make her responsible for that cost. Ask in your neighborhood group. My daughter is a driver and takes her sister plus another friend so on rare days I have to leave early her sister makes sure she’s up.
Get rid of the 530 alarm. Frankly I’d get rid of the 6 too and get her up and out of bed into the shower at 620/630 right before you leave. The snooze cycle makes it harder to get up.
Do you have any older neighborhood teens who drive? Maybe you can get a few on the roster willing to pick her up for gas money and make her responsible for that cost. Ask in your neighborhood group. My daughter is a driver and takes her sister plus another friend so on rare days I have to leave early her sister makes sure she’s up.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:13
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
We bought two old school loud alarm clocks and put one across her room, near the door. The other in the bathroom just next to her room.
Set bathroom for 6:59
Set bedroom for 7:00
The bathroom one starts and gets ignored as it is not right in her ear. But she wakes and starts to be alert. The second one can’t be ignored. Get up, turn off. Now up, she goes to turn off the bathroom alarm. And there she is. In front of mirror and need a to pee. So she does. Might as well get in the shower?
Set bathroom for 6:59
Set bedroom for 7:00
The bathroom one starts and gets ignored as it is not right in her ear. But she wakes and starts to be alert. The second one can’t be ignored. Get up, turn off. Now up, she goes to turn off the bathroom alarm. And there she is. In front of mirror and need a to pee. So she does. Might as well get in the shower?
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:01
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Anonymous wrote:It's nuts to have alarms spaced over an hour and a half long period. Does she need to be up at 5:30? If not, let her sleep. Set the alarms 5 minutes apart near the time you need her up. Get a wake alarm with a light or a smart plug/bulb that lights up the room. Put the alarms across the room. Make her call you to say she's awake and vertical.
I'll add that I used to have an alarm that started playing music about 10 minutes before I was supposed to be awake. Like a gradual light, it would help rouse me for my actual alarm.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 12:01
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Yeah - given the scenario you outlined (and what you are describing as the requirements of her routine), she needs to be up and in the shower before you leave at 6:30. If it were me - that would be a requirement for her to be out of bed (with strict enforcement, ideally using a mechanism she agrees to) by 6:20.
I agree that it would be great if all teens were able to get themselves up and ready independently every morning. But not all teens can, and it's our role as parents to help them build routines for success. And an 8 am bus for a 9 am start is really not that early, not in the scheme of what lots of teens in this area are dealing with.
I agree that it would be great if all teens were able to get themselves up and ready independently every morning. But not all teens can, and it's our role as parents to help them build routines for success. And an 8 am bus for a 9 am start is really not that early, not in the scheme of what lots of teens in this area are dealing with.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:57
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.
+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.
No you are very wrong. I actually decided to stay at home, retire early when DD was in middle/ high school. I made sure she was up and at school every morning even though it was a PITA to get her out of bed. I made sure teachers followed her IEP. Her first year of college she failed everything because she can not get herself up. There is no alarm that will wake her up. She basically trained herself to ignore the alarms.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:56
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
let her fail or get a truant visit.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:52
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
It's nuts to have alarms spaced over an hour and a half long period. Does she need to be up at 5:30? If not, let her sleep. Set the alarms 5 minutes apart near the time you need her up. Get a wake alarm with a light or a smart plug/bulb that lights up the room. Put the alarms across the room. Make her call you to say she's awake and vertical.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:49
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
I do not write excuse notes if they over sleep.
We had this - I told my child to get to school. Took public bus and was late.
I would recommend the child texting you at 7:55. If there is no text, you call them as they have 15 min to get their stuff together to get to the 2nd stop.
We had this - I told my child to get to school. Took public bus and was late.
I would recommend the child texting you at 7:55. If there is no text, you call them as they have 15 min to get their stuff together to get to the 2nd stop.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:47
Subject: 10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
I agree with old school alarm across the room. It’s also helpful to get those gradual awake lights — they start turning on gradually before wake up so help your body wake up.
I would also call her phone to make sure she’s up.
I’m very sympathetic because this has been me my whole life—I just have a lot of trouble waking up.
I would also call her phone to make sure she’s up.
I’m very sympathetic because this has been me my whole life—I just have a lot of trouble waking up.
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:46
Subject: Re:10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Anonymous wrote:Thanks PPs for all of the advice and tips. First time, I was a field trip chaperone with younger sibling and could not get back to the house until afternoon; DH has a set flex early schedule so that day he was out for work by 4:30am and working from the Baltimore office. She missed school that day. Second time, I got back to her but with traffic it was already nearly 10am before she got there. Third time, same scenario but with DH on his late day (on those he leaves at 7am).
Alarms go off 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, bus comes 8:05/8:07; second stop across the street is 8:11/8:13 timeframe. I stop in 6, 6:30 then head off to drop off siblings/ to work. She does not want to be driven and dropped at the school thus we ended up with her catching the bus. School starts at 8:55 but she has a 25-ish minute commute without the bus stops added in. On a traffic heavy day the school is a good 30 minutes away.
No health issues, no special needs, timing is the huge part - while she will be awake in the moment you step into the room, saying she is going to get to showering in the next few minutes, it’s trying to do a one hour get ready sequence there’s just not enough time but she does not want to compromise on any one morning item - clothes, shower, skin care, makeup.
She does have a friend who is in the next neighborhood who she is in contact with however, that has not helped. Ubers and Lyft are hit/miss; not overly abundant in our suburb. I’m also not a fan of the shared ride option given what happened not too long ago in Oxon Hill.
The Oxon hill murder from 5 years ago??
Anonymous
10/07/2024 11:28
Subject: Re:10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?
Thanks PPs for all of the advice and tips. First time, I was a field trip chaperone with younger sibling and could not get back to the house until afternoon; DH has a set flex early schedule so that day he was out for work by 4:30am and working from the Baltimore office. She missed school that day. Second time, I got back to her but with traffic it was already nearly 10am before she got there. Third time, same scenario but with DH on his late day (on those he leaves at 7am).
Alarms go off 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, bus comes 8:05/8:07; second stop across the street is 8:11/8:13 timeframe. I stop in 6, 6:30 then head off to drop off siblings/ to work. She does not want to be driven and dropped at the school thus we ended up with her catching the bus. School starts at 8:55 but she has a 25-ish minute commute without the bus stops added in. On a traffic heavy day the school is a good 30 minutes away.
No health issues, no special needs, timing is the huge part - while she will be awake in the moment you step into the room, saying she is going to get to showering in the next few minutes, it’s trying to do a one hour get ready sequence there’s just not enough time but she does not want to compromise on any one morning item - clothes, shower, skin care, makeup.
She does have a friend who is in the next neighborhood who she is in contact with however, that has not helped. Ubers and Lyft are hit/miss; not overly abundant in our suburb. I’m also not a fan of the shared ride option given what happened not too long ago in Oxon Hill.
Alarms go off 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, bus comes 8:05/8:07; second stop across the street is 8:11/8:13 timeframe. I stop in 6, 6:30 then head off to drop off siblings/ to work. She does not want to be driven and dropped at the school thus we ended up with her catching the bus. School starts at 8:55 but she has a 25-ish minute commute without the bus stops added in. On a traffic heavy day the school is a good 30 minutes away.
No health issues, no special needs, timing is the huge part - while she will be awake in the moment you step into the room, saying she is going to get to showering in the next few minutes, it’s trying to do a one hour get ready sequence there’s just not enough time but she does not want to compromise on any one morning item - clothes, shower, skin care, makeup.
She does have a friend who is in the next neighborhood who she is in contact with however, that has not helped. Ubers and Lyft are hit/miss; not overly abundant in our suburb. I’m also not a fan of the shared ride option given what happened not too long ago in Oxon Hill.