Anonymous wrote:"Gosh, have you ever thought that your daughter wouldn't be bored now if you had sent her to school on time? Such a shame she had to waste a year."


But I'm mean.

I would absolutely say this. If the other mom didn't want to be friends any more, it's a double win.

Anonymous wrote:I would be cold and aloof with her. She will get the point. Just avoid to the extent you can.

Yep, this is the answer. Same thing you do with people with other annoying behaviors, just don't engage.

I would be cold and aloof with her. She will get the point. Just avoid to the extent you can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Op here… no, they definitely know. When they have a 10th birthday party and some of the kids haven’t turned 9 yet, they notice, I can assure you.

Yes and they think “10 already, no fair!” They all want to have the first birthday. There is no shunning or shaming. Get real.

I know a March redshirter this is nothing

OP I’m here to validate your feelings and reactions. This woman sounds super irritating. The truth is people who redshirt usually tend to fall into two buckets: people who are looking to gamify the system to put their kids at some academic/social advantage over everyone else’s kids and people who are in some level of denial that their kids probable special needs will somehow go away or not turn out to be special needs if only they wait one more year to start K. So there can be feelings of guilt or shame under the surface in certain cases and people get defensive.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the other woman's child really is very bright. The problem with holding back summer birthday kids for social reasons is that if the kids turn out to be very bright for their age, they will be extremely bright for their grade, and then they end up very very bored in school. It's hard to get grade skipped, unfortunately. Her best bet to get a more fitting academic environment for her child is to switch schools and have her child place in the correct grade this time around.

I don’t find this to be true, but it does depend on what resources are available in your district. My very bright sept birthday kid was never bored, despite not being challenged. He still loves school and finds value in it. Skipping a grade wouldn’t have mattered. His test scores would have still be 99% for the next 2-3 grades above, math probably even more. Once middle school hit he was able to take advantage of special programs outside of school that allowed for formal acceleration above what his school could provide. My point is, it is easy to bridge the academic gap if a child isn’t challenged at school, but it is nearly impossible to bridge the social gap if their age isn’t aligned with their grade

Maybe the other woman's child really is very bright. The problem with holding back summer birthday kids for social reasons is that if the kids turn out to be very bright for their age, they will be extremely bright for their grade, and then they end up very very bored in school. It's hard to get grade skipped, unfortunately. Her best bet to get a more fitting academic environment for her child is to switch schools and have her child place in the correct grade this time around.

OP was oldest in her class and she claims gifted . Pot meet kettle

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Op here… no, they definitely know. When they have a 10th birthday party and some of the kids haven’t turned 9 yet, they notice, I can assure you.

Wow summer birthday big deal

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Op here… no, they definitely know. When they have a 10th birthday party and some of the kids haven’t turned 9 yet, they notice, I can assure you.

+1 Everyone knows who got held back, and children dont use words like redshirt and reclassified that DCUM ladies use to make themselves feel better about holding their children back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Op here… no, they definitely know. When they have a 10th birthday party and some of the kids haven’t turned 9 yet, they notice, I can assure you.

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of “the extra year did her no favors” why wouldn’t you assume that the extra year DID help and she might have been even MORE awkward if she had gone on time?

Sounds like maybe mom and daughter both have trouble with social cues. I’m with the PP and think they may both be on the spectrum (and I come from a neurodiverse family)

Op here. Yeah I really have no idea. The mom is a massive oversharer so I’m assuming she would’ve mentioned that along the way? Not really my business anyhow. I just get irritated with her yammering on about how redshirting is the best when every kid is different and also it seems to not have even worked out great for her own kid.

You’re right. You have no idea.