Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

It sounds like she was allowed to use the card for dinner, etc? The OP seemed to think spending $100 at Sephora would have been fine but spending $400 was way too much and I don’t see how the kid would have known that without being told. That’s a pretty fine line.

Only a kid with zero concept of money would do this. That’s not most kids.

+1
I based my answer on the fact that this kid is 16, only 2 years from legal adulthood. Maybe a parenting fail or the kid has impulse issues which means this Sephora trip is not the most important thing OP needs to take care of.

I'm wondering if there is an underlying insecurity that prompted this? Is she breaking out? Or does she feel less pretty than her friends? My daughter went through a period where she felt especially insecure about her looks and spent lots of money on skincare products - she said she wanted "that shiny, perfect, rich girl look." Ironically all of the K-beauty products made her skin so much worse.

So my advice is to talk it out rather than approach it punitively. Then come to an agreement about which products to return.

16 is pretty old to be doing this and without even giving you a heads up that she was going to spend a lot. Maybe but my 6th grader would do something like that, but no way my high schoolers would. I don’t know what your financial situation is like, but this would be really disrespectful in our house.

You should set in place some clear rules on how much she can spend without permission etc. I would return what you can. If she has birthday money, I would have her use that to pay for as much as she can.

This is why a job, even just in the summer or babysitting, is so good for kids. If you make $15 an hour, the $400 is more than 26 hours of work. So it becomes a calculation of “if this worth 26+ hours of my time”.

I give my kids my credit card too. But they have to ask before they use it - and by ask, I mean tell me what my money is being spent on and the cost. It seems unfair to be upset with your kid if you haven’t set parameters around the use of your card.

That being said, how I’d react would depend. Did she break the rules regarding card usage? Did she not know the cost? Does she get allowance? What are the rules for using allowance? Are some or all of the items returnable?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

It sounds like she was allowed to use the card for dinner, etc? The OP seemed to think spending $100 at Sephora would have been fine but spending $400 was way too much and I don’t see how the kid would have known that without being told. That’s a pretty fine line.

Only a kid with zero concept of money would do this. That’s not most kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

Buying $20 of Suave is 20 bottles of shampoo who does that?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

It sounds like she was allowed to use the card for dinner, etc? The OP seemed to think spending $100 at Sephora would have been fine but spending $400 was way too much and I don’t see how the kid would have known that without being told. That’s a pretty fine line.

Do you speak in code to her

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can remember spending this much (the equivalent of this much in today's dollars) back when I was a teen. On makeup. At an ordinary drug store. (People's Drug at Westbard in Bethesda). I did it once and soon felt foolish. Really regretted it. I would not have admitted it was a mistake though. Would not have admitted that to parents or friends, though I felt that way. But it was my own money, salary from a teen job. So, it stung.

You did not spend nearly this much back when you were a teen. These products are so much more expensive than the equivalent Cover Girl and Maybelline products of your days. And most of the products are inappropriate for teen skin. They don’t need anti aging and anti wrinkle creams for $55.

I was 14 in 2000 and I remember spending $100 at Sephora but it was my own money that I earned. I still had to hide the receipt because I knew my mother would kill me for spending that kind of $$ on makeup.
$400 for me is an entire 8 hour shift at work. I would explain that to my daughter and either make her return it or make her work it off. Focusing on grades is one thing but you're raising a spoiled brat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

This is something kids need to be told and don't instinctively know most of the time.

Also OP, I would really try to separate the “morality” of whether $400 is “too much” for skincare. If I wanted to, I would drop that much on skincare. I’ll probably spend more than that on lasers and Botox this fall. The language about what is “ridiculous” and what is “appropriate” and all of that imo is really unhelpful. What matters is the numbers. She needs to get a handle on her numbers and manage them how she wants. That means her whole personal financial picture, her goals (savings for a car? College? Anything like that on the horizon) and her income. Imo it’s fine if it’s an allowance from you and also fine if it includes a car, college spending money, whatever! The important thing is that you lay it all out and she has the knowledge to know how blowing $400 at Sephora is going to fit in her plan and her means.

Whether or not drunk elephant is “worth it” is really a separate conversation imo. Buying $20 of Suave is a problem if you don’t have $20 in the budget for it. Buying $600 eye cream might be fine if it’s in the budget.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

Anonymous wrote:I’d have her return whatever can be returned. Discuss purchase limits and be clear how much she can put on the card.

+1. Id also ask what prompted those that level of expenditure.

Anonymous wrote:I can remember spending this much (the equivalent of this much in today's dollars) back when I was a teen. On makeup. At an ordinary drug store. (People's Drug at Westbard in Bethesda). I did it once and soon felt foolish. Really regretted it. I would not have admitted it was a mistake though. Would not have admitted that to parents or friends, though I felt that way. But it was my own money, salary from a teen job. So, it stung.

You did not spend nearly this much back when you were a teen. These products are so much more expensive than the equivalent Cover Girl and Maybelline products of your days. And most of the products are inappropriate for teen skin. They don’t need anti aging and anti wrinkle creams for $55.