I’m about to return to a city I used to live in on a work trip. I reached out to some old friends. I’ll fly in Monday and leave Friday. I got three different responses when I reached out and they are all fine! Just say no to the invitation if you’re not feeling it.

One: “Yes! I’ll adjust to your schedule and definitely want to see you. Can’t wait!

Another: “Fun to hear from you! My kid’s team hasn’t posted their schedule yet. Can I get back to you once I know what day(s) she has practice? I’m so glad you reached out!”

Third: “Hi! It’s been too long. While I’d love to chat soon, things have been really hard this fall with my parents and some family illnesses. I just don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind to go out when you’re here. Let me know a good time to catch up.”

People ask others out when they're available to go out. If you're not, just say so and suggest an alternate date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I’m having weekday drinks or dinner, it’s typically professional or work related

Sorry you did not pick the SAHW/M path.

Stay at home moms will NEVER go out on a weeknight, are you kidding? That's sacred family time. They only want to grab lunch. This is how I've lost a lot of friends - they refuse to go out in the evenings on weekdays or without their families on weekends.

This is weird - I enjoy weeknight dinners/drinks. We're so busy on the weekends that weeknights are really the only time I'm free to see friends!

Oh, man. A friend and I used to meet after the kids were in bed - years ago. A local restaurant had a late happy hour that we used to hit up.

It was perfect. We got some friend time, kids were in bed, and it didn’t conflict with weekend stuff.

You sound like you need an attitude adjustment. If you can’t or don’t want to go, just say no and offer to get together when you are available. Why hate on people who are extending you an invitation to spend time together?

don't worry, OP, just keep on saying no without offering another idea and they'll stop inviting you soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM parent and can’t make weeknight drinks work! I’m driving kids to activities all a afternoon and evening.

Everyday? Where’s your partner?

I am a single working parent and my kids have multiple activities every evening of the week. No time for drinks.

I love weeknight drinks! And weekend night drinks. And the occasional day drinks,but that's hard because I usually have house/yard chores during the day.

I have Tuesday nights off from my kid so occasionally I'll go out that night just because I can. But usually I just go home and enjoy not having to be responsible.

What about if they are new friends? Is that acceptable?

Anonymous wrote:i love it!

its an excuse to get out of the house. DH can watch DS and they can have a boys night.

I much prefer grabbing dinner or a drink with friends during the week instead of a weekend too. If I’m going to go out on a weekend night I prefer it to be with DH. Otherwise weekends are based on what the kids have going on. I would rather get home late one night and DH can handle kid stuff and dinner solo . I do the same for him if he meets friends on a weeknight.

They are saving their weekends for their fun friends.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM parent and can’t make weeknight drinks work! I’m driving kids to activities all a afternoon and evening.

Everyday? Where’s your partner?

I hear ya. Just be glad you’re invited.

Anonymous wrote:i love it!

its an excuse to get out of the house. DH can watch DS and they can have a boys night.

This. I’ll prob have one drink and maybe split a second. Or not. I just want to see you. My life is busy too. I prefer weekday pm or Sunday evenings to meet up. The early coffee idea is cool too.