Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: all decent suggestions barring shower sex. Great in theory, in practice its like two seals slipping around an empty tank.

I had no clue that open doors were a fire hazard. GTK.

Regarding the lock, I could hypothetically install a lock, but its the principle. It is something I need to feel comfortable. My husband doesn't care if the kids walk in on us. If he wants more sex, he should do it.

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Why? Are you not also part of this marriage? If you have decide he is just a roommate and you aren’t interested in him or sex then you need to tell him that so he doesn’t waste more time with some who doesn’t love him or eat him or find him attractive.

Anonymous wrote:Close doors. Ceiling fans. White noise machines. Get a better bed and make sure it is screwed together really tight and put it on a nice thick rug. Turn on the TV while you do it. Run the dryer while you do it. Have sex while the kids are at school. And so on.

Another thing people do that is no longer an option for you is only have as many kids as allows you to still have a reasonable amount of privacy in your home. You filled up your house with people and now that those people are older you're like "wait I have no privacy." Well some of us thought about that before having another kid. Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: all decent suggestions barring shower sex. Great in theory, in practice its like two seals slipping around an empty tank.

I had no clue that open doors were a fire hazard. GTK.

Regarding the lock, I could hypothetically install a lock, but its the principle. It is something I need to feel comfortable. My husband doesn't care if the kids walk in on us. If he wants more sex, he should do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think couples in your position would try a white noise machine for yourselves and also for the kids' rooms. Or tell the kids you are watching a movie and turn it way up. And taking a day off together during the week.

But most of all, this is YOUR DH'S PROBLEM TO FIX. What is wrong with you that you don't understand that? Next time he brings it up, ask him what changes he plans to implement.

+1 we have three kids that age and they sleep right next door to us. They have a white noise machine that is pretty loud and go to sleep two hours before us. The first sleep cycle is very deep. We have sex twice per week. Tbh I am skeptical of people who blame sleeping children for not having sex. Taken literally, the children are used in order to not have sex. Asking on DCUM is a way of assuaging the guilty feeling (“I am seeking advice/doing something about it!”) so that later you can return to the status quo (“ah well I tried, but Larlo took guafacine late and anyway there are no locks on the door”).

Anonymous wrote:I think couples in your position would try a white noise machine for yourselves and also for the kids' rooms. Or tell the kids you are watching a movie and turn it way up. And taking a day off together during the week.

But most of all, this is YOUR DH'S PROBLEM TO FIX. What is wrong with you that you don't understand that? Next time he brings it up, ask him what changes he plans to implement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shower sex.

Love shower sex!

Anonymous wrote:During the day. You don't need to take a full day off.

Why don't we have sex hotels in DC?

Anonymous wrote:You just... do it. You close and lock your door and you close the kids' doors once they fall asleep. If your kids have trouble falling asleep, do it in the middle of the night or early in the morning before they're up.

Or you put on some sort of engrossing movie for them and go upstairs with your husband for 15 minutes. They won't even notice that you're gone.

Or do it in the living room if you have to, or the basement if theres a sofa or bed there. Put up a motion lightbulb on the stairway or something to be alerted of one of the kids starts to come down the stairs.

Do you ever work from home? Does one of you start work after the kids leave for school? All you need is 15 minutes if you're in a rush.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why this is a question. Children age 8 and 12 are obsessed with screens. Tell them you are very kindly letting them have exactly 30 minutes of screen time before XYZ next thing they need to do.

Have s-x during that 30 minutes.

I don't know any kids who don't become zombies on devices at this age. They don't hear anything. This answer is so easy and obvious. And i'm sure some PP is going to post "oh, heaven forbid, we try and be a low screen home, blah blah". But i promise you that the mental health benefits from you and your DH doing it three times a week outweighs any health benefits of your kid taking in 1.5 extra hours of screens every week.