Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inviting her kid over for another play date is a great idea. And it does sound like the mom is lonely and needs support; there is nothing wrong with asking if you can support her in any way. I think that this is kind of you to show care, particularly because the mom let you into her confidence.

Absolutely not.

^^ Such a weird take. Do not listen to this person.

Not a weird take; it’s the right thing for both sides. Don’t be so pollyannaish.

What are you concerned about, that the divorcee is going to steal OP’s husband?

No, but obviously you thought that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inviting her kid over for another play date is a great idea. And it does sound like the mom is lonely and needs support; there is nothing wrong with asking if you can support her in any way. I think that this is kind of you to show care, particularly because the mom let you into her confidence.

Absolutely not.

^^ Such a weird take. Do not listen to this person.

Not a weird take; it’s the right thing for both sides. Don’t be so pollyannaish.

What are you concerned about, that the divorcee is going to steal OP’s husband?

OP, I get it. You see someone hurting and you want to help.

I totally understand the people saying it's not your business because it's really not. And it would be weird to try to insert yourself because you feel like *you* want to do something.

However, I just want to offer my story of a similar situation from a while back.

In this case, it was a neighbor, and the kids played together but the parents didn't hang out.

I ran into her at one point and she told me about the divorce. A few days later I just texted and said something like "Hey, good to see you on Monday. Sounds like a lot is going on right now. LMK if you ever want to go grab a drink"

And she replied right away and we went for a drink and we're close friends now.

I think sometimes we assume that people have networks and friend groups, but if you watch DCUM you'll see a lot of people who don't. They don't have their pre-kid friends anymore and have struggled to make "mom" friends.

I would not involve the kids though. I don't think a play date or a casserole will help, you know?

Anonymous wrote:My 7yo daughter has a friend whose parents are divorcing. The mom had told me at the end of the school year that the dad was leaving her. Today at drop off the kids and mom were crying.

Is there anything I can do?

We are not close friends. Our kids are also not close friends. They were in the same class last year but separate classes this year.

Huh? Why were they crying?

Invite the daughter for a playdate.

From your follow up it seems like you were spying on them while they cried in the car? This is honestly weird op.

I don’t think you need to send a casserole or anything, but extending a play date invitation seems kind.

I hope none of the “do nothing” posters live in my neighborhood. If you see me crying at school, ask me if I’m okay!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Both my child and I are very friendly. The daughter told me that my daughter was her best friend a few months ago. I have always been nice to the child and her mom.

I have all these school events and 3 kids. My older two children have sports everyday and I’m getting overwhelmed putting their game schedules in my calendar.

If I did not feel sad for the family, I would not be reaching at this moment.

You said your daughter is not best friends with her. You also said that you hoped others would be nice if you were in that position. Aren’t you already nice to her? If you acted normal, that wouldn’t be considered nice? It’s only nice, if you get involved?

I was in a car watching these kids crying on the curb. They didn’t see me so I was not directly nice to the mom or kid.

I have not emailed, called or texted the mom since the end of last school year. If I do not reach out to her directly to meet, it is unlikely that we would talk at all.

If it’s unlikely you would talk at all, she should not have ever spilled details about her situation. You two are not close and this is profoundly awkward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Both my child and I are very friendly. The daughter told me that my daughter was her best friend a few months ago. I have always been nice to the child and her mom.

I have all these school events and 3 kids. My older two children have sports everyday and I’m getting overwhelmed putting their game schedules in my calendar.

If I did not feel sad for the family, I would not be reaching at this moment.

You said your daughter is not best friends with her. You also said that you hoped others would be nice if you were in that position. Aren’t you already nice to her? If you acted normal, that wouldn’t be considered nice? It’s only nice, if you get involved?

I was in a car watching these kids crying on the curb. They didn’t see me so I was not directly nice to the mom or kid.

I have not emailed, called or texted the mom since the end of last school year. If I do not reach out to her directly to meet, it is unlikely that we would talk at all.

NP.
Red flags. The mom seemingly is unstable and I doubt you know everything. I would be friendly but cautious and not get sucked in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Both my child and I are very friendly. The daughter told me that my daughter was her best friend a few months ago. I have always been nice to the child and her mom.

I have all these school events and 3 kids. My older two children have sports everyday and I’m getting overwhelmed putting their game schedules in my calendar.

If I did not feel sad for the family, I would not be reaching at this moment.

You said your daughter is not best friends with her. You also said that you hoped others would be nice if you were in that position. Aren’t you already nice to her? If you acted normal, that wouldn’t be considered nice? It’s only nice, if you get involved?

I was in a car watching these kids crying on the curb. They didn’t see me so I was not directly nice to the mom or kid.

I have not emailed, called or texted the mom since the end of last school year. If I do not reach out to her directly to meet, it is unlikely that we would talk at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Both my child and I are very friendly. The daughter told me that my daughter was her best friend a few months ago. I have always been nice to the child and her mom.

I have all these school events and 3 kids. My older two children have sports everyday and I’m getting overwhelmed putting their game schedules in my calendar.

If I did not feel sad for the family, I would not be reaching at this moment.

You said your daughter is not best friends with her. You also said that you hoped others would be nice if you were in that position. Aren’t you already nice to her? If you acted normal, that wouldn’t be considered nice? It’s only nice, if you get involved?

This gives me dysfunctional love bombing vibes. The woman spilling details about her divorce to someone who isn’t close and the op who wants to swoop in to save their lives from it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Both my child and I are very friendly. The daughter told me that my daughter was her best friend a few months ago. I have always been nice to the child and her mom.

I have all these school events and 3 kids. My older two children have sports everyday and I’m getting overwhelmed putting their game schedules in my calendar.

If I did not feel sad for the family, I would not be reaching at this moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

Her sharing details with a just an aquaintance and exploiting her daughter is concerning. She should not be putting this onto her child or onto you.
I would stay clear, but you seem hell bent on trying to be a martyr.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.

And you weren’t kind to her prior to this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the soon to be ex husband knows how much pain he is putting his family through.

You don’t know what had happened. You don’t even know these people.

Actually the wife was pretty clear. I won’t write details on here.

Yes, we are not close friends. I have seen them around school, have had them over to my house a few times. We went to their birthday party. They came to ours. The mom stands with me at school events and other people’s parties. The kid likes me and my child a lot, always excited to see us and acts like we are close.

Is she someone I went to high school or college with close long friends? No.

You only have one side and you don’t know her well. You are involving yourself as if you are intimately in their life.

I’m not involving myself at all. I just saw them today at school and felt bad for them. If it were not for their situation, I would not reach out. I have 3 kids and fall sports are starting. We are busy.

You’re asking if you should involve yourself and you claimed to know it all because the “wife was clear.” Your words.

Yes, when she told me last spring, she shared many details.

If you saw them today, it would be hard to ignore. They all looked so sad and devastated.

If my child ever looks that sad, I hope teachers and friends would be kind to her.

I may reach out to mom casually for just a play date.