Anonymous
10/16/2024 14:00
Subject: Re:What kind thing you did this week for your elderly parent?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mom lived alone and for the last 3 years of her life we paid people $75 plus free lunch to pick her up, take her to lunch and shopping/run errands. They were to spend 3-4 hours with her.
This happened 2-4x per week. Some were people we knew that needed a little extra money, sometimes it was my nieces, etc. Always people we knew that just needed a little money.
She passed away last.
It really was awesome for her to get out a few times a week.
I think this is lovely. I wish I had thought of that.
I wish I had $400/week to even contemplate doing this.
This is so weird to me. Besides the nieces are these ‘people’ that she actually knew and had a relationship with?
Anonymous
10/16/2024 13:26
Subject: Re:What kind thing you did this week for your elderly parent?
Anonymous wrote:Registered their car
Completed their taxes
Updated their home insurance
Met with AL for possible additional care needs
Decluttered their stuff which they never bothered to do before moving
Ordered them pants
Shopping for shoes for them
Shopped for air cleaners for them
Arranged repair of their bathroom
Arranged repair of a wall
Talked to them
Took them food
Spent time with them at a concert
I’m exhausted.
I work and have a family and my own stuff to do on top of all that.
I'm sure your parents were "exhausted" with you when you were a kid. This is your time to give back to them in the years they have left.
And I don't say to be mean (we have 4 sets of elderly parents so I get it). But they are old, vulnerable instead of young and vulnerable. One day they'll be gone.
Anonymous
10/16/2024 07:38
Subject: What kind thing you did this week for your elderly parent?
Anonymous wrote:Sent him lunch, which he didn’t eat. Cleaned his apartment. Made arrangements to get his housed cleaned ( which he destroyed with hoarding) so he can move out of assisted living apt. And return home. Paid all his bills, bought him breakfast this am. He has been boycotting food and refuses to go out of his AL apartment. Won’t bathe. But not demented or incompetent just depressed. Won’t see a dr or psychiatrist.
My husband let me know I’m being irresponsible with his care for letting him return home; dad let me know I’m being a bad daughter because I don’t want him out of AL. Damned if I do or don’t. I’m just so tired. Only child.
In case you need to hear this, you’re not a bad daughter or irresponsible. You’re doing the best you can with a tough situation.