Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:21     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
There is a better than 100% chance that this is the same OP of the “Husband and his partner” thread.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1219915.page
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:20     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Op, write back letting us know how it turns out.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:20     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP. Actions have consequences. let her burn. Make sure you burn your husband also though.


OP: Oh, he will. This is going to destroy his career.


Not even if he's a politician. Nobody gives a $hit.

You should leave the other husband alone, it's not your business. Your husband is your business.


Not how it works. You interfere with my marriage, I interfere with yours. Why is there a code that should be upheld by the spouse who was wronged? The wife didn’t cheat. YOU did. If my husband was caught cheating with someone I’d already expressed concern about, all bets for civility would be off.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:19     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:

Why would it destroy his career?


I can't imagine anyone caring about a colleague's workplace affair...




It won't.

That's just wishful thinking on OP's part.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:17     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP. Actions have consequences. let her burn. Make sure you burn your husband also though.


OP: Oh, he will. This is going to destroy his career.


Not even if he's a politician. Nobody gives a $hit.

You should leave the other husband alone, it's not your business. Your husband is your business.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:17     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP. Actions have consequences. let her burn. Make sure you burn your husband also though.


OP: Oh, he will. This is going to destroy his career.


I'm figuring you've considered this, because you sound methodical, but if this also torches things like health insurance through his work for you or for any kids you have, be ready for that. Same goes for savings for kids' college or your retirement, though I figure those finances get worked out in a divorce and custody agreement. I am NOT saying to let this go, OP! Just saying: Be prepared for his career dive to affect all aspects of family finances and coverage. (A friend's DH lost his job when they divorced; she ended up with much less robust health coverage for her and their kids, which was an issue later on when one child developed a chronic condition that has cost $$$ and always will. That's why this issue is one which occurs to me when people divorce.)


She doesn't sound methodical. She sounds unhinged and erratic.


Yup.


Affair partners are so funny. You dumb girl. You thought the wife would find out and what? Be cool with it? Scold her husband? I would go a step farther and sleep with your husband after I told him. Be thankful OP isn’t as unhinged as me.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:16     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
I get it, OP. It’s a tough experience. Make sure to get some therapy.

I personally wouldn’t go after DH and AP but honestly it looks like they wrote checks they can’t cash.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:15     Subject: Re:To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you don't have kids if you're proposing going so public it ruins his career. I've been in your shoes, but had kids so chose to keep things private and divorce quietly. I don't want to ruin his career as that has financial consequences for the family, nor does making my children choose sides. You can be a good dad and a crappy unfaithful husband.


OP: Ruining his career isn’t my intention. His business is set up in such a way that this will end it. The two of them are key players in a small business.


How does that happen? I can’t think of a business where its existence depends on two key people not having sex.


OP: I’m not really willing to fully disclose the business field or why it will cause an implosion because I think AP is on this thread. It’s one reason I started searching a little bit more diligently. There were responses to previous threads that just had a little too much information or seemed like they knew the situation a little too well.

Are you the OP of the thread with the middle aged husband and the young, hot and pregnant female business partner?
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:15     Subject: To my husband’s work AP


Why would it destroy his career?


I can't imagine anyone caring about a colleague's workplace affair...


Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:13     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP. Actions have consequences. let her burn. Make sure you burn your husband also though.


OP: Oh, he will. This is going to destroy his career.


I'm figuring you've considered this, because you sound methodical, but if this also torches things like health insurance through his work for you or for any kids you have, be ready for that. Same goes for savings for kids' college or your retirement, though I figure those finances get worked out in a divorce and custody agreement. I am NOT saying to let this go, OP! Just saying: Be prepared for his career dive to affect all aspects of family finances and coverage. (A friend's DH lost his job when they divorced; she ended up with much less robust health coverage for her and their kids, which was an issue later on when one child developed a chronic condition that has cost $$$ and always will. That's why this issue is one which occurs to me when people divorce.)


She doesn't sound methodical. She sounds unhinged and erratic.


Yup.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:12     Subject: Re:To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you don't have kids if you're proposing going so public it ruins his career. I've been in your shoes, but had kids so chose to keep things private and divorce quietly. I don't want to ruin his career as that has financial consequences for the family, nor does making my children choose sides. You can be a good dad and a crappy unfaithful husband.


OP: Ruining his career isn’t my intention. His business is set up in such a way that this will end it. The two of them are key players in a small business.


DP. Are you the OP of the other thread about how the DH spends all day talking with his business partner??


NP. No way it’s not the same person.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:05     Subject: Re:To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you don't have kids if you're proposing going so public it ruins his career. I've been in your shoes, but had kids so chose to keep things private and divorce quietly. I don't want to ruin his career as that has financial consequences for the family, nor does making my children choose sides. You can be a good dad and a crappy unfaithful husband.


OP: I have a good career myself and don’t really care if he tanks. I can support myself and any children. I talked to him about this issue multiple times— about how I felt uncomfortable with their relationship, how I wanted to strengthen our bond so I wouldn’t feel so insecure, how boundaries should be established in their working relationship— and he lied to my face every time. I have too much self respect to give a damn about him after all of that. He takes me for a fool.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 12:01     Subject: Re:To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you don't have kids if you're proposing going so public it ruins his career. I've been in your shoes, but had kids so chose to keep things private and divorce quietly. I don't want to ruin his career as that has financial consequences for the family, nor does making my children choose sides. You can be a good dad and a crappy unfaithful husband.


OP: Ruining his career isn’t my intention. His business is set up in such a way that this will end it. The two of them are key players in a small business.


How does that happen? I can’t think of a business where its existence depends on two key people not having sex.


OP: I’m not really willing to fully disclose the business field or why it will cause an implosion because I think AP is on this thread. It’s one reason I started searching a little bit more diligently. There were responses to previous threads that just had a little too much information or seemed like they knew the situation a little too well.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 11:58     Subject: Re:To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you don't have kids if you're proposing going so public it ruins his career. I've been in your shoes, but had kids so chose to keep things private and divorce quietly. I don't want to ruin his career as that has financial consequences for the family, nor does making my children choose sides. You can be a good dad and a crappy unfaithful husband.


OP: Ruining his career isn’t my intention. His business is set up in such a way that this will end it. The two of them are key players in a small business.


How does that happen? I can’t think of a business where its existence depends on two key people not having sex.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2024 11:58     Subject: To my husband’s work AP
Anonymous wrote:So your DH cheats and instead of divorcing him or working it out privately you go after the OW? Maybe reconsider your strategy.


OP: Who said I wasn’t going to do that?