Anonymous wrote:How many men have an AP but still sleep with other women? Im curious if this is common or I just found the wrong guy. I've been with my AP for years and just found out there were other women in his life. How do I know? Well his wife found the text chain from the night they spent together. A night of travel for work when he told me he loved me before and after he hooked up with his other side chick.

You are an AP. This person made vows to someone to be faithful (unless they both decide to open the marriage but this doesn't sound like it) and BROKE them. They lied and betrayed their wife, why the heck do you think they will be faithful to you? Some random they are sleeping with.

People are dumb. You loose em how you got em, folks!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Good for you. (No sarcasm.) how are things with your DH now and how did you get it back on track? What was the reason you two weren’t being intimate at home?

Things are better, though not perfect. DH cannot really explain why he rejected me for so long. I think it was a midlife crisis of sorts. I love him deeply but have accepted our sex life will never really be that great for me. I have always loved sex and been very attracted to him.

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Good for you. (No sarcasm.) how are things with your DH now and how did you get it back on track? What was the reason you two weren’t being intimate at home?

TROLLLLLLLLL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman I worked with for years was AP to a married man. Larla was ecstatic when Barlo divorced his wife of 30 years and they married. Guess what? Barlo started cheating on her....

Larla thought she was Special. The classic mistake the AP makes--thinks she's special, or she can "save" the married AP, or he's in "a terrible marriage" and she's really his soulmate who understands him, etc. The only thing Barlo thought was "special" was his d**k and the only understanding he needed was someone fresh to stroke his ego. I'd bet he was cheating on Larla when they were APs too.

Barlo should have made his intentions clear from the very beginning. If Larla wasn't ok with his intentions to continue with his hobby, she should have moved on. Be upfront about your intentions, what each other needs and wants from the relationship. If they don't match up, move on.

I dunno. I almost had an affair, and I wanted sex primarily. My DH had stopped having sex with me completely and refused to do marriage counseling. I didn’t want a new relationship, I didn’t want to leave my marriage, I just wanted hot sex with a guy who wanted me. I felt like I was way too young to be celibate.

I thought a man in the same situation would understand and we could help each other carry on until our kids were older. The man I was talking to was wildly appealing to me. I wanted him a lot! But I decided against it in the end, and I’m glad.

Anonymous wrote:Woman I worked with for years was AP to a married man. Larla was ecstatic when Barlo divorced his wife of 30 years and they married. Guess what? Barlo started cheating on her....

Larla thought she was Special. The classic mistake the AP makes--thinks she's special, or she can "save" the married AP, or he's in "a terrible marriage" and she's really his soulmate who understands him, etc. The only thing Barlo thought was "special" was his d**k and the only understanding he needed was someone fresh to stroke his ego. I'd bet he was cheating on Larla when they were APs too.

Anonymous wrote:Once that line has been crossed, it's a lot easier to keep on crossing it. It's also no harder to lie to someone you're not married to and who you know is fine with infidelity, when you're already lying to your spouse.

This, x 1,000.

OP, how have you never heard the saying: "If he'd cheat WITH you, he'd cheat ON you" --?

Now you know that the saying is accurate.

The question is, what do you plan to do with this information? If you're not fine with being just one among who knows how many random women, why would you stay his AP after this? He's not going to stop, whatever he tells you when you confront him about it, whatever pleas of "love" or regret or excuses (It was Just One Time!) he gives. He cheats with you; it should be no surprise he cheats on you. I'm genuinely not saying that in judgement of you, but in terms of harsh reality. If you think you love him, you loved a fictional idea of him as faithful to you as his one AP. If you don't love him but are just there for the sex, well, why not find a man who can give you both sex and actual committed love? But not one who already has a wife or GF, because....see the saying, above.

Anonymous wrote:To the guy who only wants one AP create an account post a message and I'll respond unless you already have your one AP

Interesting approach. Well Played.

Anonymous wrote:He was love bombing you and you need to end this.

I am married and with a married AP and I absolutely expect him to keep me informed of all his relationships. Even cheaters has a code with other cheaters.

I agree, I even would encourage it, I enjoyed hearing about it etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP, check out the documentary podcast "Betrayal." The cheater in that story was banging several women and making them all feel special and loved.

It’s a narcissists game to make them all fall in love with him and think he’s their hero. Meanwhile, it’s all an act to him. Shuts the hotel door and leaves it behind. Talk about misogyny. They don’t care at all and will ghost when they get discovered or get sick of them.

OP, check out the documentary podcast "Betrayal." The cheater in that story was banging several women and making them all feel special and loved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many men have an AP but still sleep with other women? Im curious if this is common or I just found the wrong guy. I've been with my AP for years and just found out there were other women in his life. How do I know? Well his wife found the text chain from the night they spent together. A night of travel for work when he told me he loved me before and after he hooked up with his other side chick.

I had an AP and sleeping with three other women. All of us worked at the same company. Never got caught! 😁

How did they end?

Eventually just faded out. One got married, the 2nd was married and she got a divorce, the third left the company and the forth wanted me to father her child and I always told her no way. She finally gave up. All ended on good terms. I talk to two of them but no $ex.

Anonymous wrote:In my limited knowledge of this happening to people I know, all married cheaters have had more than one AP and all the APs think they’re the only one.

This.

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t cheat on my AP with my exH.

My exH cheated on his married AP 3-4 times a week with me. Ironically, he only banged her at most 1-2 times total a month. She was floored and angry when she found out. I was completely nauseous and kicked him out.