If he was really into you he would have picked up the bill. Don’t expect a second date.

Anonymous wrote:It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

His advances and words would feel way more in line with his real actions. If he offered to pick something for me from the menu - he should be paying for it. Not me.

It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

Anonymous wrote:What the hell is a small drink? Stay home with your damn $30 and your tests. Don't test anyone in public. I have waited on bunch of such couple; it is so uncomfortable.
Where did you eat' a lot of food' and 'got a bottle' for $100? I would have handed my card long ago if the bill was so small. You are the awkward one with mentioning $100 when it's nothing at your income level. Clearly it's something. You make women look crazy.
Had you brought up just the physical part, I'd be with you.

The total bill was $100 and it was a very small amount to even split, in my opinion . I did get a slight vibe he was hesitant to hand over his card waiting for my reaction as well. So when I offered to split before heading to bathroom to which he quickly agreed and even praised me.

Yes, I think a man should have already actively waived the waiter and handed over his card just saying “no worries, it’s on me”. Particular if the date was with lots of kissing and he enjoyed it as much as he had claimed

I won’t be seeing him again. Thanks everyone. It was nothing to talk about check but says a lot about mismatched cultures and his pretend vigorous generosity ordering for me.

What the hell is a small drink? Stay home with your damn $30 and your tests. Don't test anyone in public. I have waited on bunch of such couple; it is so uncomfortable.
Where did you eat' a lot of food' and 'got a bottle' for $100? I would have handed my card long ago if the bill was so small. You are the awkward one with mentioning $100 when it's nothing at your income level. Clearly it's something. You make women look crazy.
Had you brought up just the physical part, I'd be with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

Of course it’s demeaning for a woman if she pays for food that a man allegedly generously ordered himself for the date. How is that be even a question?

If he was my colleague - different thing. But even male colleagues usually pay at lunch

Fixing this for you-- you're welcome!

"Of course it's demeaning for anyone to pay for food that an oblivious person ordered for themselves, expecting to split the bill and get away with expensive food and drink on the other person's dime."

Though it's not really demeaning as much as it is plain old rude.

And the person who doesn't want to pay for the date's or colleague's pricey choices should speak up and not sit stewing in silence due to a ridiculous "test."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really need to work on your writing/communication skills. Sounds like you were testing him for gender roles (he should split bill) but then are p*ssed that he did since he ordered more than you PLUS you have a $30 limit on first day cost.

If that is the case, then you are contradicting yourself.

I don’t have a “limit” on the bill cost. That’s what was the typical max bill for a man at first dates with me in the past.
No my test was if he would decline my offer to split and insist on paying himself as the man who invites and chose all items on the menu while I only asked for a $10 drink. I’m not comfortable paying for a man for food - taking out credit card, everyone watching me sign the check etc. I do split other expenses in LTR
I prefer when a man follows standard gender roles

So your test is whether someone can read your mind? This man dodged a bullet.

No the test is whether someone knows and follows dating etiquette and willing to show he prefers to follow standard gender roles in relationship

I’m shocked you are single! You sound too immature to date. Work on setting boundaries and communicating effectively and then start dating again.

I don’t owe a guy communicating standard boundaries for the first date. He should be well aware of them if he wants to secure a 2nd date.

I presume he’s not that interested and will move on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really need to work on your writing/communication skills. Sounds like you were testing him for gender roles (he should split bill) but then are p*ssed that he did since he ordered more than you PLUS you have a $30 limit on first day cost.

If that is the case, then you are contradicting yourself.

I don’t have a “limit” on the bill cost. That’s what was the typical max bill for a man at first dates with me in the past.
No my test was if he would decline my offer to split and insist on paying himself as the man who invites and chose all items on the menu while I only asked for a $10 drink. I’m not comfortable paying for a man for food - taking out credit card, everyone watching me sign the check etc. I do split other expenses in LTR
I prefer when a man follows standard gender roles

So your test is whether someone can read your mind? This man dodged a bullet.

No the test is whether someone knows and follows dating etiquette and willing to show he prefers to follow standard gender roles in relationship

I’m shocked you are single! You sound too immature to date. Work on setting boundaries and communicating effectively and then start dating again.

Anonymous wrote:Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

Of course it’s demeaning for a woman if she pays for food that a man allegedly generously ordered himself for the date. How is that be even a question?

If he was my colleague - different thing. But even male colleagues usually pay at lunch

Anonymous wrote:Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

No, I just look at how thoughtful, reasonable and overly cultured the person is.

Anonymous wrote:I do think your test is silly, but someone ordering way more alcohol and food and then going half and half is a red flag. Getting handsy on a first date when you don't appear to have been into it was bad as well.

So while testing people isn't a good idea, this guy doesn't seem like a good one.

+1.

Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

Anonymous wrote:I respect your test and think these are good standards.

Completely agree.

Why is this post-worthy? Most people would just move on. You're weird, OP.

OP is a walking red flag and she shouldn't have wasted that poor man's time.