I think it is easier when GPs see grandkids on kids’ own turf and territory.

My own parents meant well, but, yes, pins on the floor. And they had saved my own crib for her to sleep in. Cute idea but safety regulations had changed. And once I came home to find my mom had cut my daughter’s bangs without asking.

I can’t go to anyone’s house for a week. Ever. Ever! That’s so long. What are you doing that whole time?

When we visit my in-laws we pay a teenager to be there for extra help for all the reasons you describe. It’s remarkably cheap and greatly improves the quality of our time there and my mood.

Yes 100% and I visit for two weeks and my god it feels like im in the way every moment.

This was how our visits were for the first 2 years. Basically, my in laws were easily bored by the baby stage of life. They're very active adults and couldn't wait for our kids to have the patience/stamina for more activities, like going to museums, going for walks to the lake, etc. We had to really coach my mother in law on age-appropriate things she could do with our kids, like arts and crafts (water colors, beading, dance parties, children's museums instead of art museums, etc). But I totally understand that when you're used to a fast-paced adult life, the slow, start-and-stop of little kid life (with lots of snack and nap breaks) is kind of boring. I loved it when my kids were little, but also think they're much more fun now.

Now, my kids are 4 and 6 and just spent a weekend by themselves with the grandparents, who ran them all over the city to a museum, local beach, outdoor dance festival, airshow, playground, boat ride, etc. They all had a blast! My kids can be out (with snacks) for pretty much the whole day now. They don't need a whole backpack full of diapers or special baby-snacks.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL broke in her parents with three kids in two years. It was all hands on deck or she didn't travel. But I had to break in my parents and it was harder. They love the kids but needed a lot of updates about safe sleep, car seats, etc. fortunately they were willing to learn. I had a childhood of danger with many wilderness experience and petite carpentry tools of my own, and my kids enjoy the same.

I’m with your SIL. I refused to travel to a more difficult place for someone else’s Facebook photos, especially when DH got lazy as he usually did on vacations. Parents childproofed their house and got on board with naps etc. In-laws didn’t and complained about my attitude. So I refused to take the kids. For some reason in-laws are willing to pitch in for DH, since they feel that he shouldn’t overtire himself and deserves rest, so they pitch in a lot more. Everyone was so much more tired they wanted me to come, but now that I know why I’m wanted, I don’t. It’s great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your DH about how to divide and conquer on future trips.

I totally get you. My experience was similar. ILs wanted us to visit all the time, but didn't care to do any work to make it easier for the kids/us. I mean, heaven forbids that they should move their precious glass ornaments that were within easy reach of the toddler. And they only wanted to look at the baby/toddler and take some cute pictures, and expected me to keep the kids quiet and occupied 99% of the time so the grown ups can talk.

Several options: stay in a hotel when you visit them and keep the time in their house short; have DH take them (they'll quickly realize that everyone needs to chip in when mom is not there); meet up with them at a family friendly resort (better use of your vacation time and more relaxing).

I dislike staying in hotels because then there’s even less to play with. When we stay with them we bring toys in our luggage. Plus when kids take naps, I have to go back to the hotel? That’s hard on me as a parent.

Instead of a hotel, an Airbnb, ideally one that is kid friendly (may already have toys, yard, etc).

Agree with PPs that a week is too long for people who are not helpful and are not using the burden.

Echo the idea of a resort where there's obvious activities amg logistics are taken care of (like an all-inclusive with buffets, pools, etc.)