I let the kids try whatever activities they say they want to try. When they get to middle school or high school they can pick what they want to focus on.

So many people spend their lives schlepping their kids around to activities they don’t even enjoy or want to do. Talk to the high school kids in your lives many hated being over scheduled but never felt they could say no to their parents

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I’ve let my kids try anything they’ve expressed interest in.

We only continue things they’re willing to work on themselves, without prompting, on their own.

This is the same for me. And by 4th grade my son had it narrowed to one sport and one music activity that he cared about, was willing to put in effort, and made friends through the activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this really depends on what you are optimizing for. If it’s for eventual college admissions, best to pick one obscure academic activity with low participation that your kid can dominate and be captain of etc for years. Sports are a total waste of time because the chances they will be scholarship-earning good are zero and sports eat up the most time. Instruments are no longer the golden ticket they once were because everyone is first chair now.

You should focus on some obscure environmental or social justice issue that you, oops I mean your kid, can start a club on and ostentatiously pour thousands of hours into throughout high school and middle school. Preferably one that frequently takes them overseas to the “global south.”

You are ridiculous

I’m not ridiculous. College admissions is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:Spending time with animals. For my kid it's her horse.
Spending time on the water. My kid sails.

Anonymous wrote:Spending time with animals. For my kid it's her horse.
Spending time on the water. My kid sails.

Yes and summering in Europe. Mandatory.

I just want to note that if you don't have sporty kids you can still instill a sense of athleticism and make them love physical exercise.

I have a kid who hates team sports and generally dislikes athletic competition but really enjoys: hiking, yoga, ballet, and swimming (for fun and not for speed). She's outdoorsy and active without ever completing a single season of any team sport (she did soccer and basketball in early elementary but HATED them and we relented and didn't force her to finish because even the coaches were like "she is afraid of the ball and miserable the whole time").

It's worked out fine. Better than fine actually -- I can't think of any point in time where we've thought "gosh she [or we] are really missing out because she doesn't do sports."

Family Time is most important. No activity of any one child should create a great deal of stress for others. Family Time may also mean sacrifices from the children. Parents who work and provide money for the family need to be supported - their basic needs come first (sleep, a calm household, downtime/vacation time from their job)

Anonymous wrote:Sport is a priority, because a lifelong habit of regular exercise is so important for health.

Then math, because a strong foundation in elementary school math is essential for getting through life.

And then they end up obese adults I wonder wgy

Anonymous wrote:Music and at least one sport, at the young age trying various ones.

Also, family excursions like berry picking, the pumpkin patch, the petting zoo, aquarium. So much fun and before you know it, the kids won’t be into those activities any longer.

Lol I would absolutely put berry picking and pumpkin patch at the bottom of the list! We did that a couple times when kids were really little and it's a hassle and a rip off -- it's for people who want very specific photos to post to Instagram (that all look the same). It's like doing those "First Day of School" chalkboards. If you enjoy it and want to do it knock yourselves out but your children will not actually miss out on anything if you skip it.

Aquariums are great and I'd definitely do at least one trip to Disney (you don't have to go for a week -- suck it up for at least one day before your kids turn 8 or 9). We really valued museums and vacations and beaches. Tons of great memories at these places that are about more than checking off a box and getting a specific photo. And once kids are tweens they are less interested in doing that stuff with you and want to do it with friends or on their own so making those memories when they are little really means something (and they come back around in their 20s and actually want to do a weekend trip to SF or wander a museum with you again!).

Anonymous wrote:Sport is a priority, because a lifelong habit of regular exercise is so important for health.

Then math, because a strong foundation in elementary school math is essential for getting through life.

A lot of people do sports as a kid and then become couch potato/non exercisinh adults anyway.

Every child should learn to swim.

Music and at least one sport, at the young age trying various ones.

Also, family excursions like berry picking, the pumpkin patch, the petting zoo, aquarium. So much fun and before you know it, the kids won’t be into those activities any longer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have older kids or have been through the elementary years already, what activities, sports, or outside enrichment have been truly worth it, and why?

There is so much my child is interested in and it’s not reasonable to do it all. STEM class, math, language school, piano, nature sessions, Zoom class, multiple sports leagues, sports camps.

I wonder when I look back several years from now if I will wish I had done it differently and pushed focus on just one or two things year after year. Right now I’m just following enthusiastic child’s changing interests and doing as much as we can fit in without going crazy with driving or cutting into sleep and family time.

STEM class - nonsense, skipt it
math - if the kids is smart, do AOPS, otherwise skip
language school - do it online with a tutor, it's cheaper and easier
piano - big commitment, do it only if you they are gonna do it long term, start young
nature sessions - sounds like nonsense
zoom class - ???
sports - no idea, but i assume it's similar to music. you need to start early and stick to a single sport; otherwise it will eat a lot of resources and won't go anywhere

And you have no idea wtf you are talking about

For us:

- Swim lessons and not just to proficiency but to real comfort and agility in the water. It's a safety skill AND a lifelong athletic pursuit plus something you do on vacation. I think if you only had money or time to do one kind of paid lesson this would be it.

- Reading. Reading to your kids even after they can read. Trips to the library and trips to the book store. Getting them books they are excited about reading. Ensuring they get proper phonic instruction and addressing any limitations or issues promptly. Reading in front of them (books not my phone). Again -- lifelong skill that will help them in both work and leisure and just a fundamental building block. I also obviously think math is important and we stay on that but school has really handled that. Literacy is something we took on as a family and have made part of our daily life and it is so worth it.

We did other stuff I think were worth it -- piano lessons and having instruments around the house and encouraging an interest in music. Doing a lot of outdoorsy stuff -- hiking and rock climbing and lots of beach time and boating. DD has done dance since she was really little and took to it right away and stuck with it and now it's this very meaningful hobby that I think will be some part of her life for a long time and a source of friendship. But I think that stuff is all really specific to our family and our kids and I wouldn't judge anyone for choosing say team sports over music or other kinds of family pursuits.

But swimming and reading are the ones that I think offer the biggest bang for their buck in terms of time and emphasis and money. I think everyone should go hard on those. Worth it.